Marriage - The Right Time For Children
In the long list of major decisions in a marriage, when to have children has got to be at the top of that list.
Let's face it, when you're first married, you're starting your careers.
You're trying very hard to advance as far as you can in them.
And with today's families being two income families, for the most part anyway, it's not like the husband can perform his manly duties, get his wife pregnant and then just run off to work and everything is fine.
Many times this means the wife has to take leave from work, at least for a while and then when she returns, if she returns, there is the matter of child care.
As you can see, this isn't something that's so easy to work around.
So the question is, when IS the right time to have children? The truth is, there is no right time.
If you were to sit down and go through your life, planning everything out year by year and then took a dart and threw it somewhere along this time line, the chances of hitting a time where having children would be a piece of cake are slim to none.
Think about it.
At the beginning of your marriage you're just getting to know each other.
You want to spend some time alone with each other.
The last thing you feel you want to do is add a baby to the mix because that baby would take time away from both of you spending time together.
Be honest.
That's how most of us feel.
Then, maybe four or five years into our marriage, we're stuck in the career dilemma.
We've bought our first home and the only way we can pay it off is if we both work.
Well, if you're both going to work, it's pretty hard raising a kid when nobody is home.
And you can't quit your job or career because you're deep in debt.
Finally, your careers are pretty settled, you've advanced up the ladder, the money is good and you have more than enough to afford a child except you look up and you're 40 years old.
You start to think that you're a little too old to be having children.
So you sit back on your couch and give a sigh.
You wish you had decided to have a child sooner.
If you think the above scenario is a little far fetched, it's not.
The sad truth is, this is pretty much what most couples go through in today's world when they decide to have or not have children.
So the question you're waiting to have answered is, "When IS the right time to have children?" Sadly, there is no answer to this question.
The right time is what is right for you.
But, if you ask most people who have had children of their own and also wrestled with these issues, they will tell you not to wait.
They'll tell you that there is never a right time.
They'll tell you that there is always something in the way.
And they'll also tell you that having a child was the greatest thing they ever did.
Let's face it, when you're first married, you're starting your careers.
You're trying very hard to advance as far as you can in them.
And with today's families being two income families, for the most part anyway, it's not like the husband can perform his manly duties, get his wife pregnant and then just run off to work and everything is fine.
Many times this means the wife has to take leave from work, at least for a while and then when she returns, if she returns, there is the matter of child care.
As you can see, this isn't something that's so easy to work around.
So the question is, when IS the right time to have children? The truth is, there is no right time.
If you were to sit down and go through your life, planning everything out year by year and then took a dart and threw it somewhere along this time line, the chances of hitting a time where having children would be a piece of cake are slim to none.
Think about it.
At the beginning of your marriage you're just getting to know each other.
You want to spend some time alone with each other.
The last thing you feel you want to do is add a baby to the mix because that baby would take time away from both of you spending time together.
Be honest.
That's how most of us feel.
Then, maybe four or five years into our marriage, we're stuck in the career dilemma.
We've bought our first home and the only way we can pay it off is if we both work.
Well, if you're both going to work, it's pretty hard raising a kid when nobody is home.
And you can't quit your job or career because you're deep in debt.
Finally, your careers are pretty settled, you've advanced up the ladder, the money is good and you have more than enough to afford a child except you look up and you're 40 years old.
You start to think that you're a little too old to be having children.
So you sit back on your couch and give a sigh.
You wish you had decided to have a child sooner.
If you think the above scenario is a little far fetched, it's not.
The sad truth is, this is pretty much what most couples go through in today's world when they decide to have or not have children.
So the question you're waiting to have answered is, "When IS the right time to have children?" Sadly, there is no answer to this question.
The right time is what is right for you.
But, if you ask most people who have had children of their own and also wrestled with these issues, they will tell you not to wait.
They'll tell you that there is never a right time.
They'll tell you that there is always something in the way.
And they'll also tell you that having a child was the greatest thing they ever did.
