What Makes A Marriage Last
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary this past weekend and we are already looking forward for the next 20 years. I admit our marriage was not happy days everyday of the week. It was not a walk in the park. In fact there were days that we were not speaking to each other for weeks at a time, of course we always worked things out. A good lasting marriage is a work in progress; yes it takes work hard work.
A good start helps especially when the romance wears off which is about after a month of being married. So what is a good start? It is starting with a commitment, a solid commitment to each other. You are committing to getting married to each other and committed to make it work. This may come to you as a big surprise but love alone will not make a marriage last.
Love is a feeling and our feelings can change from moment to moment, day to day and over time depending on what is going on that day in our life. So if you have a solid commitment in place from the beginning, which is the foundation of a good solid marriage, it will withstand the bad days.
Like a house, if it is built on a weak foundation when a strong wind blows it will fall over and collapse. Imagine if a hurricane or a tornado blew in, that house would be wiped out in a flash. You got to start a good marriage with a solid foundation.
Of course people get married because they really, really love each other, but if they get married only for that reason alone watch out. You really do not know what the marriage is built on. Those are like the Vegas drive thru weddings that people do on a whim during a hot wild weekend. Many times by Monday when the booze and the heat wears off they think boy what was I thinking and get a drive thru divorce.
Now days people easily fall in love and just as easily fall out of love. Funny how argument that lead to divorce can be over trivial things like which dinning room set should we get, or should we get this dinning room set versus that big screen TV. Or who takes out the garbage or who cleans the yard. Minor stuff.
Today getting married is taken lightly. If things do not go as they thought it should people quickly walk away and get a divorce. Next. This is not good as it cheapens the institution of marriage and this not to take into account the hurt that goes on between the couple, the parents, relatives and friends, especially the pain and suffering of the children if any, that can last a life time.
As you can see there are more people involved in a marriage than just the couple. Getting married should be taken seriously and at least thought about and talked about well in advance. Couples should take the time to really know each other and know what each other expects of the marriage. That is where communication comes in.
Do not get me wrong, love is what brings couples together in the first place. But it will take more than love especially after the glow dies down. Start your marriage on a solid foundation and it will survive the storms. You can be sure that storms will come but they will also pass. Can your marriage survive it that is the question?
Are you looking forward for your first 20 years? Life is short so make the most of it. Remember a lasting marriage takes work. Love and kisses are great but a commitment is the glue that will hold your marriage together in the long run, especially in times of bad weather.
A good start helps especially when the romance wears off which is about after a month of being married. So what is a good start? It is starting with a commitment, a solid commitment to each other. You are committing to getting married to each other and committed to make it work. This may come to you as a big surprise but love alone will not make a marriage last.
Love is a feeling and our feelings can change from moment to moment, day to day and over time depending on what is going on that day in our life. So if you have a solid commitment in place from the beginning, which is the foundation of a good solid marriage, it will withstand the bad days.
Like a house, if it is built on a weak foundation when a strong wind blows it will fall over and collapse. Imagine if a hurricane or a tornado blew in, that house would be wiped out in a flash. You got to start a good marriage with a solid foundation.
Of course people get married because they really, really love each other, but if they get married only for that reason alone watch out. You really do not know what the marriage is built on. Those are like the Vegas drive thru weddings that people do on a whim during a hot wild weekend. Many times by Monday when the booze and the heat wears off they think boy what was I thinking and get a drive thru divorce.
Now days people easily fall in love and just as easily fall out of love. Funny how argument that lead to divorce can be over trivial things like which dinning room set should we get, or should we get this dinning room set versus that big screen TV. Or who takes out the garbage or who cleans the yard. Minor stuff.
Today getting married is taken lightly. If things do not go as they thought it should people quickly walk away and get a divorce. Next. This is not good as it cheapens the institution of marriage and this not to take into account the hurt that goes on between the couple, the parents, relatives and friends, especially the pain and suffering of the children if any, that can last a life time.
As you can see there are more people involved in a marriage than just the couple. Getting married should be taken seriously and at least thought about and talked about well in advance. Couples should take the time to really know each other and know what each other expects of the marriage. That is where communication comes in.
Do not get me wrong, love is what brings couples together in the first place. But it will take more than love especially after the glow dies down. Start your marriage on a solid foundation and it will survive the storms. You can be sure that storms will come but they will also pass. Can your marriage survive it that is the question?
Are you looking forward for your first 20 years? Life is short so make the most of it. Remember a lasting marriage takes work. Love and kisses are great but a commitment is the glue that will hold your marriage together in the long run, especially in times of bad weather.
