The New School Year Offers Possibilities for Children of Divorce
Though often bittersweet, the beginning of a new school year is a milestone we can all identify with.
Each new year we feel like we've gotten a clean slate and a new beginning which is really not at all true.
The years past have a powerful effect on the present and future years.
With that being said, there is a lot of wisdom in taking a long view of starting a new school year and set goals and dreams that will take us far past a few months into future years.
No matter how young your children are, they can be guided in setting goals for themselves.
In fact, the support and encouragement they need so badly cannot even occur unless they are setting and achieving goals.
The opening of school is a natural time to set academic goals.
Also, with school activities, sports, and social events, it is the opportune time to focus on personal growth and relationships by setting healthy goals.
Setting goals that are achievable and still challenging is very difficult and will require much trial and adjustment.
The one major point is that the goal must be quantifiable.
You can't have a goal of "doing better in math" but you can "raise my math grade from a C+ to a B.
" The degree of challenge is hard to pinpoint.
It should not be out of reach, but reasonably attainable with focus and hard work.
Encouraging your children to sit down and write out the kinds of places and circumstances they want to be in at the end of the year.
"I want to sing a solo in the Spring Choral Concert," is a good goal and making the plans of practice and lessons to make it happen can provide a lot of motivation.
Making new friends, facing fears, trying new experiences are all subjects you and your children can explore and set goals to help meet these milestones.
Get everyone a small notebook and have everyone write out their goals.
For task oriented goals like chores, a poster can be displayed to show how close they are to meeting their goals.
But all the goals in the world will be worthless without support, encouragement, guidance.
And, not all the celebrating comes at the end of the process.
Celebrating little victories along the way can strengthen everyone's resolve and give energy and spirit to the process.
Children of divorce have special difficulties with setting and meeting goals because they have often lost faith in their own spirit.
After witnessing the lack of success of their parents to meet their joint expectations and dreams for their family, children can give up on their own individual power to make things happen in their lives.
Living a life of stimulation and challenge can reset their ability to plan ahead and work to make their plans a reality.
This is a good exercise for the whole family and creates an atmosphere of energy and exciting possibilities.
Make it part of your back-to-school program, right along with notebooks and new shoes, make goals and dreams another part of the back-to-school routine.
Each new year we feel like we've gotten a clean slate and a new beginning which is really not at all true.
The years past have a powerful effect on the present and future years.
With that being said, there is a lot of wisdom in taking a long view of starting a new school year and set goals and dreams that will take us far past a few months into future years.
No matter how young your children are, they can be guided in setting goals for themselves.
In fact, the support and encouragement they need so badly cannot even occur unless they are setting and achieving goals.
The opening of school is a natural time to set academic goals.
Also, with school activities, sports, and social events, it is the opportune time to focus on personal growth and relationships by setting healthy goals.
Setting goals that are achievable and still challenging is very difficult and will require much trial and adjustment.
The one major point is that the goal must be quantifiable.
You can't have a goal of "doing better in math" but you can "raise my math grade from a C+ to a B.
" The degree of challenge is hard to pinpoint.
It should not be out of reach, but reasonably attainable with focus and hard work.
Encouraging your children to sit down and write out the kinds of places and circumstances they want to be in at the end of the year.
"I want to sing a solo in the Spring Choral Concert," is a good goal and making the plans of practice and lessons to make it happen can provide a lot of motivation.
Making new friends, facing fears, trying new experiences are all subjects you and your children can explore and set goals to help meet these milestones.
Get everyone a small notebook and have everyone write out their goals.
For task oriented goals like chores, a poster can be displayed to show how close they are to meeting their goals.
But all the goals in the world will be worthless without support, encouragement, guidance.
And, not all the celebrating comes at the end of the process.
Celebrating little victories along the way can strengthen everyone's resolve and give energy and spirit to the process.
Children of divorce have special difficulties with setting and meeting goals because they have often lost faith in their own spirit.
After witnessing the lack of success of their parents to meet their joint expectations and dreams for their family, children can give up on their own individual power to make things happen in their lives.
Living a life of stimulation and challenge can reset their ability to plan ahead and work to make their plans a reality.
This is a good exercise for the whole family and creates an atmosphere of energy and exciting possibilities.
Make it part of your back-to-school program, right along with notebooks and new shoes, make goals and dreams another part of the back-to-school routine.
