Ways In Taking Over The Venue
It's not an unusual for a guy to come to me asking "Vin, I want to be able to walk in and just take over the club (or bar). I want people coming up to me, saying hi, and I'm just leaning back with girls on both sides of me, looking like the man."
OK...
Two problems with this.
First, this is most likely coming from an approval-seeking focus. You want to look cool so other people will like you.
Bad.
Second...it's not necessary to do all that just to meet attractive women.
BUT I'll admit, it can be fun to "be the Man" at the bar or club, or ANY venue. So why not?
To be "The Man" at any venue, here are some of the basic but powerful tips.
1. Show up.
Surprise surprise, you have to actually get off your butt and out the house. I've found that it's really good to become a regular. That way you see the same people a few times, and you automatically become friends.
Being a regular requires you show up at least once a week. And don't just stand there. Talk to people!
2. Talk to the staff.
The staff of a place can really help your status. If you are getting hugs from the waitresses, and handshakes from the doorguys, you look like "the Man."
Even better is if the doormen let you jump the line and walk right in (because they know you), and the waitresses hang around your table and flirt with you and your friends more than the other tables; this makes the women in the place take notice of you, as they are in competition with the waitresses (who have automatically higher status than all the clientele).
3. Don't try to hit on the girls. Be friendly to EVERYONE.
This may sound counter-intuitive, but going into a place and trying to talk to every girl will make you look desperate and try-hard.
Instead, strike up conversation with whoever's close to you. Don't inconvenience yourself. Having fun and being comfortable are more important to a dominant man than trying to get laid.
4. Don't get sloppy. Keep a consistent dominant focus all night.
This is something I had to learn the hard way. So much so that I barely drink anymore.
In fact, I'm such a lightweight nowadays that more than 2 beers is enough to get me really buzzed.
But here's the thing. I learned early on that when I drank, I wasn't learning anything. So I stopped.
And you know what? I realized that I was acting with much more self-control (dominance) and was able to get a Windows of Opportunity easier when I was sober.
The last thing you want to do is drink too much and embarrass yourself. That will surely hinders your status in a venue.
Instead, stay sober enough that you can keep your focus on screening, approving, PLAYING and JOKING. Find out if people meet your standards and then have fun sharing experiences and jokes about whatever arises in the situation.
5. Be a connector.
Introducing people to each other is one of the most dominant things you can do in a venue.
There's a ton of principles behind this, but suffice to say, you look like a social, fun, LEADER.
And that's the key to being The Man - being the Leader.
We focus on this heavily in The Attraction Code. Being the Leader is about taking charge, but with a positive, altruistic intention.
That intention may not always be clear, depending on the context. But if LEADING is part of your ways - your belief system - you will do it REGARDLESS OF CONTEXT.
Remember, a dominant man is an attractive man.
Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo
OK...
Two problems with this.
First, this is most likely coming from an approval-seeking focus. You want to look cool so other people will like you.
Bad.
Second...it's not necessary to do all that just to meet attractive women.
BUT I'll admit, it can be fun to "be the Man" at the bar or club, or ANY venue. So why not?
To be "The Man" at any venue, here are some of the basic but powerful tips.
1. Show up.
Surprise surprise, you have to actually get off your butt and out the house. I've found that it's really good to become a regular. That way you see the same people a few times, and you automatically become friends.
Being a regular requires you show up at least once a week. And don't just stand there. Talk to people!
2. Talk to the staff.
The staff of a place can really help your status. If you are getting hugs from the waitresses, and handshakes from the doorguys, you look like "the Man."
Even better is if the doormen let you jump the line and walk right in (because they know you), and the waitresses hang around your table and flirt with you and your friends more than the other tables; this makes the women in the place take notice of you, as they are in competition with the waitresses (who have automatically higher status than all the clientele).
3. Don't try to hit on the girls. Be friendly to EVERYONE.
This may sound counter-intuitive, but going into a place and trying to talk to every girl will make you look desperate and try-hard.
Instead, strike up conversation with whoever's close to you. Don't inconvenience yourself. Having fun and being comfortable are more important to a dominant man than trying to get laid.
4. Don't get sloppy. Keep a consistent dominant focus all night.
This is something I had to learn the hard way. So much so that I barely drink anymore.
In fact, I'm such a lightweight nowadays that more than 2 beers is enough to get me really buzzed.
But here's the thing. I learned early on that when I drank, I wasn't learning anything. So I stopped.
And you know what? I realized that I was acting with much more self-control (dominance) and was able to get a Windows of Opportunity easier when I was sober.
The last thing you want to do is drink too much and embarrass yourself. That will surely hinders your status in a venue.
Instead, stay sober enough that you can keep your focus on screening, approving, PLAYING and JOKING. Find out if people meet your standards and then have fun sharing experiences and jokes about whatever arises in the situation.
5. Be a connector.
Introducing people to each other is one of the most dominant things you can do in a venue.
There's a ton of principles behind this, but suffice to say, you look like a social, fun, LEADER.
And that's the key to being The Man - being the Leader.
We focus on this heavily in The Attraction Code. Being the Leader is about taking charge, but with a positive, altruistic intention.
That intention may not always be clear, depending on the context. But if LEADING is part of your ways - your belief system - you will do it REGARDLESS OF CONTEXT.
Remember, a dominant man is an attractive man.
Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo
