How Do I Save My Marriage After Being Unfaithful?
There are two important questions you must answer honestly:
1) Do you want to save your marriage?
2) Is your marriage worth saving?
Think about what caused you to cheat on your partner. Evidently something was missing from your marriage. It is not my place to point fingers or to judge anyone; I do not know the circumstances that lead to the unfaithful act. What I am going to do is help you make the right decision...the right decision for you.
First, find a quiet place where you can be alone, where you can think clearly without distractions. Ponder over the years of marriage with your partner. Would you say they were happy years? Can you envision yourself being with this individual years from now? Are you still in love? Do you see a happy, fulfilling future with this person...if the answer is "NO" to these questions; then you have concluded that your marriage is not worth saving. The next step for you is a divorce attorney. At this point you can stop reading this article.
However, if you are still asking yourself "how do I save my marriage?" and decided that your marriage is worth saving, then start taking the necessary actions immediately to improve your situation. Great effort and determination on your part is crucial. You can start to work on what went wrong. What drove you into the arms of another person? Did you feel your partner did not love or appreciate you enough? Had your marriage become dull and uninteresting? I could go on with a laundry list of issues, problems or complaints; but what does it matter? The important thing is your commitment to make your marriage successful.
You could cast blame on your partner and say they did not do this or that thus you had an affair; but what's to gain by this. The bottom line is there was an affair and casting blame is certainly not going to move you any closer to saving your marriage or having that loving bond that you want. Instead, talk about what kind of relationship that you would like to have together. For example; instead of saying, "YOU" never talk with me or "YOU" never have time for me; say, "let's have a date night once a week where we go out or just spend some quality time together."
If you feel that your marriage is in deep trouble and more help is needed; there are great books available that can guide you through trouble spots or see if your partner is agreeable to marriage counseling. A relationship counselor will be able to look at your marital issues objectively. This method has saved thousands upon thousands of troubled marriages.
1) Do you want to save your marriage?
2) Is your marriage worth saving?
Think about what caused you to cheat on your partner. Evidently something was missing from your marriage. It is not my place to point fingers or to judge anyone; I do not know the circumstances that lead to the unfaithful act. What I am going to do is help you make the right decision...the right decision for you.
First, find a quiet place where you can be alone, where you can think clearly without distractions. Ponder over the years of marriage with your partner. Would you say they were happy years? Can you envision yourself being with this individual years from now? Are you still in love? Do you see a happy, fulfilling future with this person...if the answer is "NO" to these questions; then you have concluded that your marriage is not worth saving. The next step for you is a divorce attorney. At this point you can stop reading this article.
However, if you are still asking yourself "how do I save my marriage?" and decided that your marriage is worth saving, then start taking the necessary actions immediately to improve your situation. Great effort and determination on your part is crucial. You can start to work on what went wrong. What drove you into the arms of another person? Did you feel your partner did not love or appreciate you enough? Had your marriage become dull and uninteresting? I could go on with a laundry list of issues, problems or complaints; but what does it matter? The important thing is your commitment to make your marriage successful.
You could cast blame on your partner and say they did not do this or that thus you had an affair; but what's to gain by this. The bottom line is there was an affair and casting blame is certainly not going to move you any closer to saving your marriage or having that loving bond that you want. Instead, talk about what kind of relationship that you would like to have together. For example; instead of saying, "YOU" never talk with me or "YOU" never have time for me; say, "let's have a date night once a week where we go out or just spend some quality time together."
If you feel that your marriage is in deep trouble and more help is needed; there are great books available that can guide you through trouble spots or see if your partner is agreeable to marriage counseling. A relationship counselor will be able to look at your marital issues objectively. This method has saved thousands upon thousands of troubled marriages.
