Dear Friends, hullo from Ivan

I would like to talk a little about an enemy called "Impatience" 

Businesses are not built on haywire or random principles, and with good reason as you can imagine. So it stands to reason that a relationship must also be built on some firm ground too, this has to include 'How to begin' and 'How to continue...long-term'. The business "deal" we have on the table at the moment is called "How do I get my ex back", and the principle behind this is "I want to get my ex back permanently!" and I need a solid plan for success. So we break that all down to some basic issues on the table 

?       Where do I start?

?       How do I keep it going?

?       What is my initial focus?

?       What is the long-term plan?

?       How long must that plan be valid?

?       On what can I base my plan? 

All of these questions, and more, will be answered 

The way your relationship began at first PROBABLY has no really useful bearing on how things are right now, and on where things need go from here on in, what is crucial is getting your act together so that you are equipped to move things forward in a pattern rather than on a schedule. It would be rather unwise to try to attach a schedule to healing a relationship, we are talking charged human emotions here and not cold business practice 

So this has to set the tone from now onward, how are you going to proceed? A bull in a china shop is never a grand plan, damage is the only possibility, so the opposite must apply...keep the bull out! (excuse the unintended double-meaning). In other words, no bulldust, no charging into things like a crazy bull, no stomping like an angry bull, no attacking of any likely-looking target like an enraged bull in a bullring. Some basic rules and guidelines need to be applied, reason and sanity must prevail, itching impatience must be contained. You need to think this through, and preferably before you take any kind of action aimed at getting your ex back together with you. If you really are sincere in getting things sorted out between the two of you, to have your differences laid to rest and a firm foundation set for long-term involvement, then you will pay attention to what you find here

 You must agree that irrational action can lead to so much unnecessary trouble. Irrational action comes from irrational thoughts. This is not to say that you are irrational but rather to emphasize the idea that when we are under enormous stress and strain we are far less able to think and reason clearly, therefore our thoughts are clouded with a veil of irrationality and possibly even fanciful idealizing of how things could become with our ex and how it would all come about. The human heart is a fickle thing, it is both a life sustaining organ within the physical body and an emotional conceptual place encompassing all of what keeps mankind alive and surviving! WOW! OK, that was a mouthful but I think you are with me on that. What I am saying is that when we are in danger, the heart takes over with a fight-or-flight reaction that transcends rational/logical thought and we react. Too often this reaction is detrimental, kind of like the way a soldier responds to gunfire as opposed to the way a civilian without military training would. The soldier is more likely to survive and the civilian more likely to panic! The soldier will not panic but will take stock of the situation and then act accordingly rather than react. This needs to apply to you and how you handle your current situation, take stock…get your facts sorted out…then act. Do not be impatient dear friend, get the right input before you get back into the fray 

Go about your planned and much hoped-for reunion with action that transcends panic and emotional upheaval. People and their feelings are precious, take them seriously. At this time in your life I am sure that you appreciate being handled with care, sympathy and tenderness, you would not enjoy a bull raging at you right now. That goes both ways. Not matter how desperately you feel the need to act back down a little, take it easy and you will be so glad you did 

Be warned! There are many half-baked schemes around, too many of them show a lack of real understanding and deep appreciation for human nature and the emotions involved with LOVE, and also the TRUE reasons for somebody wanting to get their ex back!...Oh Boy! There is too much loose-cannon poppycock to say the least, they treat your life and your relationships without conscience. (I do not mean to use this article as a critique of others, but rather to try to warn you in no uncertain terms) 

Please! Dear Friend, there are those really do care about you and your ex and do not want to see you fail, who will teach you to take it slow, to be patient and cautious and to be wise enough to avoid the terrible mistake of rushing into this. If you do rush ahead on mistaken advice you will lose and just the thought of your misguided good intentions losing you your loved-one is scary. There are those who want to see you get your ex back and have a good strong and happy life together

I think that you will agree with me that caution and careful thought and action is the most likely way to breed success in your quest to regain your ex and keep things together long-term. It also stands to reason then that going it alone under such highly-charged circumstances is also not such a grand idea and this is what I would like to discuss in another article

As a husband and Dad I truly wish you well in your quest to get your ex back together with you, long-term

Kind Regards, Ivan Kukard

PS REMEMBER! Impatience is costly, you would never rush into a business deal so don't rush into this