Coping With Breakup Fallout and Coming Out Unbroken
There is more to coping with breakup fallout than meets the eye.
Depending on the length of the relationship, whether or not you cohabited, and how closely your lives intertwined there may be a serious amount of sorting and sifting to do when the relationship ends.
Not all breaks are clean breaks and some of the dividing of property and designation of assets can be as heart breaking and emotionally taxing as the loss of the relationship itself.
Your heart may feel as though it is in the middle of a war zone but you must keep it together for the sake of your sanity.
Here are few important reminders to help you when coping with breakup fallout without going nuclear yourself.
Go to Neutral Territory Don't discuss the division of property in the home you shared together.
Go somewhere neutral where there are no strong emotions and/or memories attached.
This will help keep the conversations based on reason rather than emotion and give you both the opportunity to walk away.
If you are in the home that is still occupied by one of you there is nowhere for that one to retreat and the fighting is much fiercer as a result.
Consider an Advocate If the situation is highly emotionally charged, perhaps your best bet for coping with breakup and division of assets is to appoint someone to speak or negotiate on your behalf.
Don't choose a highly protective best friend or family member.
Try to choose someone that will speak for you but isn't emotionally invested in "besting" your ex somehow.
An advocate can save you the emotional turmoil and prevent the possibility of saying something you don't mean out of hurt and/or anger.
Many people hire lawyers for this.
Keep in mind that you can go through a process called mediation without going through a full court trial.
It's something to consider - especially if you have been living together for any length of time but are not married.
Avoid Being Alone Together This is s a time when you are both very emotionally charged.
Avoid being in situations where you are alone together.
You may be thinking that you could talk your ex out of the breakup if you are alone but it is best to do this on your terms and when you are thinking clearly not emotionally.
When you are still coping with breakup aftermath it is not a good idea to try to win your ex back.
The situation is still too emotionally charged and odds are that you haven't really thought things through yet.
Depending on the length of the relationship, whether or not you cohabited, and how closely your lives intertwined there may be a serious amount of sorting and sifting to do when the relationship ends.
Not all breaks are clean breaks and some of the dividing of property and designation of assets can be as heart breaking and emotionally taxing as the loss of the relationship itself.
Your heart may feel as though it is in the middle of a war zone but you must keep it together for the sake of your sanity.
Here are few important reminders to help you when coping with breakup fallout without going nuclear yourself.
Go to Neutral Territory Don't discuss the division of property in the home you shared together.
Go somewhere neutral where there are no strong emotions and/or memories attached.
This will help keep the conversations based on reason rather than emotion and give you both the opportunity to walk away.
If you are in the home that is still occupied by one of you there is nowhere for that one to retreat and the fighting is much fiercer as a result.
Consider an Advocate If the situation is highly emotionally charged, perhaps your best bet for coping with breakup and division of assets is to appoint someone to speak or negotiate on your behalf.
Don't choose a highly protective best friend or family member.
Try to choose someone that will speak for you but isn't emotionally invested in "besting" your ex somehow.
An advocate can save you the emotional turmoil and prevent the possibility of saying something you don't mean out of hurt and/or anger.
Many people hire lawyers for this.
Keep in mind that you can go through a process called mediation without going through a full court trial.
It's something to consider - especially if you have been living together for any length of time but are not married.
Avoid Being Alone Together This is s a time when you are both very emotionally charged.
Avoid being in situations where you are alone together.
You may be thinking that you could talk your ex out of the breakup if you are alone but it is best to do this on your terms and when you are thinking clearly not emotionally.
When you are still coping with breakup aftermath it is not a good idea to try to win your ex back.
The situation is still too emotionally charged and odds are that you haven't really thought things through yet.
