Family & Relationships Weddings

Should I Have Children at My Wedding?

Not all couples would want children on their wedding especially if they want a solemn ceremony and an elegant dinner with guests minus the hassles and embarrassments brought about by children.
If you are thinking of having children in your wedding- from the ceremony to the reception- you may want to plan this together with the parents of those kids.
In most wedding ceremonies, there are children who participate in the wedding procession- the ring bearer and flower girls or junior bridesmaids as well as their counterparts, the junior groomsmen.
The inclusion of children in weddings usually depends on the tradition and culture that couples have.
If you're from the West, children may be left out of the wedding march and only the adults can participate.
In a sense, the inclusion of children in the wedding march may be unnecessary for most folks because of the presence of the grown-ups.
If you worry about children behaving badly on your wedding and you don't want those tantrum-stricken kids wailing around the church or the reception venue, you may want to include a note on your invitation that you want a solemn wedding and "sorry, strictly no kids allowed".
Make this a firm decision especially if you don't want any children ruining your special day.
But be aware that even if you're close to the parents of those kids and some of them are from your own clan, you'll definitely get negative feedbacks about this decision.
If you're still thinking at this point if children can cause some hassles and may wreak havoc during the ceremony and/or the reception, you may ask your family to help you decide.
If it is difficult to leave out the children in the family as well as your friends' and guests' children, you should consider some other factors such as your budget and your partner's concerns about this issue.
Some couples who are stuck with a limited budget would opt to leave out the children and would make a note on their RSVP invitation about it.
It may sound rude, but if you tell your guests earlier, before the wedding itself, it is more understandable than just jotting it down on the invites.
A text message or a short phone call to your guests won't cost too much compared to additional headcount for the reception.
Normally when you invite one person, it is possible that he/she will bring along his/her partner, and if he/she is married, chances are the kids will come along.
So it's better to mention your plan and reason ahead if you don't want to get those unwanted stares and negative comments.
If your budget allows you to add extra headcount and extra expenses, it may be possible to consider children in your wedding.
There are care-taking or nanny services that are built for special occasions like weddings.
If you can afford to hire this type of service because it will break your heart to exclude the kids in your family as well as your guests' kids, you may do so with careful planning.
Talk to the parents ahead and tell them that their kids will have a special area during the reception.
During the ceremony, it is the parents who would need to care and look out for their kids, so it's important to tell them that their kids should be given enough nap time and preparation [to avoid tantrums and mood explosions] before the ceremony starts.
At the reception, it would be a bad idea to separate the kids from the rest of their families by putting them in a separate room.
Some people would do this, but it's not going be a good experience for everyone especially when other people are involved [paid caretakers].
A good way to put fun here is to designate junior tables for the children where they can sit, eat and play.
You can provide coloring books, puzzles and loot bags just for them.
If you want this kind of set-up but you don't have the budget for the caretakers, you can ask some of your friends to usher and take care of the children.
Teenagers in the family or your siblings can help out.
Besides, it's only a day that they will do this favor for you and your partner.
Thoughtful planning is important in weddings.
Leaving out your guests' children may be a bit of a pain, but if you have reasons for doing so, simply tell your guests right away so they too can plan ahead of where to leave their kids.
If you can accommodate kids in your wedding, patience and some helping hands are needed.
Whatever your decision may be, planning ahead will help you and your guests to prevent any miscommunication and hurt feelings.


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