Do You Really Want to Quit Your Addiction?
I complained about every addiction I had at the time I had them.
I was fat for years, I drank heavily for 12 years and I smoked cigarettes for 28 years.
I could get out of situations because of each one at one time or another.
Sometimes I had to stretch the story but I know, for myself anyway, that my addictions got me out of situations I didn't want to be in.
When I was drinking I had boyfriends and some of them I didn't like all that much.
But it was better than being alone so I stayed until the very last minute I could.
When I thought it time to move on I usually ended up drinking very heavily because I was frustrated being with a guy I wasn't in love with.
My boyfriend at the time would usually just give up, we'd split and I'd move onto the next guy.
But I was ready to leave anyway.
The alcohol gave me that out.
I couldn't be blamed for the breakup...
it was the alcohol.
When I got in fights with family or friends when I was drunk I couldn't be blamed, well not completely.
I heard a lot, "If you weren't drinking you wouldn't have done what you did.
" Well, that wasn't necessarily the case but I let them believe it.
And sometimes I would cancel at the last minute something I had planned with someone because either I was drinking or I had a hangover from heavy drinking the night before.
And I never felt bad cancelling either because it was all about me, it always was when I was drinking for all those years.
When I was fat I got out of going to functions with friends.
I didn't want to go to parties because I knew I'd be stared at because of my weight.
And the truth was, I WAS being stared at.
I even had guys giggle when I was with my friend at a party.
I knew why they were giggling.
So I decided to use that as my out from then on.
Besides, I wanted to stay home and eat anyway...
alone.
Smoking couldn't get me out of as many situations.
But it did give me the breaks I wanted.
I always enjoyed being able to go off and be alone for 5-7 minutes to smoke my cigarette.
So I always had to have breaks and everyone who knew me knew what I was doing when I got up to leave the room.
I could maybe get out of going to a long movie because I could use the cigarettes excuse.
So it's something to think about.
Having addictions has advantages.
But what if the decision was made that it's just time to drop the addiction? A little scary?
I was fat for years, I drank heavily for 12 years and I smoked cigarettes for 28 years.
I could get out of situations because of each one at one time or another.
Sometimes I had to stretch the story but I know, for myself anyway, that my addictions got me out of situations I didn't want to be in.
When I was drinking I had boyfriends and some of them I didn't like all that much.
But it was better than being alone so I stayed until the very last minute I could.
When I thought it time to move on I usually ended up drinking very heavily because I was frustrated being with a guy I wasn't in love with.
My boyfriend at the time would usually just give up, we'd split and I'd move onto the next guy.
But I was ready to leave anyway.
The alcohol gave me that out.
I couldn't be blamed for the breakup...
it was the alcohol.
When I got in fights with family or friends when I was drunk I couldn't be blamed, well not completely.
I heard a lot, "If you weren't drinking you wouldn't have done what you did.
" Well, that wasn't necessarily the case but I let them believe it.
And sometimes I would cancel at the last minute something I had planned with someone because either I was drinking or I had a hangover from heavy drinking the night before.
And I never felt bad cancelling either because it was all about me, it always was when I was drinking for all those years.
When I was fat I got out of going to functions with friends.
I didn't want to go to parties because I knew I'd be stared at because of my weight.
And the truth was, I WAS being stared at.
I even had guys giggle when I was with my friend at a party.
I knew why they were giggling.
So I decided to use that as my out from then on.
Besides, I wanted to stay home and eat anyway...
alone.
Smoking couldn't get me out of as many situations.
But it did give me the breaks I wanted.
I always enjoyed being able to go off and be alone for 5-7 minutes to smoke my cigarette.
So I always had to have breaks and everyone who knew me knew what I was doing when I got up to leave the room.
I could maybe get out of going to a long movie because I could use the cigarettes excuse.
So it's something to think about.
Having addictions has advantages.
But what if the decision was made that it's just time to drop the addiction? A little scary?
