Key Skills Needed to Be an Effective Coach
"Life Coaching" is a phrase that seems to have crept into the vocabulary and mindset of the Great British Public and, as a descriptive title, has generated a fair mixture of comment - both positive and negative.
Coaching as an idea has been around for a long long time, normally applied to the sporting or athletic domains however.
For some people the term 'Life Coach" seemed to be implying that the coach was professing to be an expert in 'Life'; they were 'together" people who had found the secret to life, love, wealth and happiness.
Well lets dispel that myth completely...
The person who coaches an Olympic athlete is not necessarily someone who could win the gold medal.
No, They simply claim to understand the physical techniques, mental attitudes and skills that make for a gold medal winner.
Athletic coaches have an 'eye' for talent and potential talent and know how to develop it.
So a Life Coach, by direct comparison, has acquired a perspective about human behaviours and motivations; is aware of the physical, mental and emotional attitudes that contribute to personal success and can help others understand those factors.
Coaching is a PROCESS as well as an attitude.
There is a concern that far too many 'instant coaches', those who have followed a weekend course in coaching skills, have the attitude that they have experienced life in such a way as to give them a particular set of solutions for the specific 'ills' of humanity.
This kind of ego driven coaching does little more than 'convert' others to a particular way of life; belief system or life-style guru..
This kind of approach is alien to the professional personal coach and, in the minds of some is totally against the ethos of effective coaching.
The following skill set is derived from the NLP Coaching training delivered by Inspire NLP and is common to the most effective coaches.
A Coaching Skill Set a) Being able to stay neutral to the clients position In NLP terms being able to stay in 3rd Position means that your role is one of an observer who is trying to see the wood and not the trees.
Sometimes described as the 'helicopter position', being neutral (in third position) means that the coach takes an objective view of the clients subjective world.
b) High Quality Listening Skills This includes the ability to bracket and put aside personal values, attitudes and beliefs in order to listen to what is being said.
It implies that the listener is happy with the importance of silence - especially the silence of their own voice.
it also relies upon quality rapport building skills.
Remember you stop listening the moment you:-
The NLP Meta-Model when applied sensitively is a superb tool in this regard.
Questioning skills include
Coaching is not counselling! The key concern of the coach is to ascertain where the client is NOW and where they want to be in the future! This means that through effective questioning and listening the coach can guide the client through an assessment of where they are now in relation to defined goals and targets and ask questions about how they can move from current reality to future possibility.
e) A Personal Tool Kit A coach is constantly reviewing their personal tool kit.
This tool kit will include an eclectic range of approaches, techniques, 'tricks' and tools to enhance the clients understanding of their current and future states.
Psychologically these tools may include relaxation and visualisation techniques; practically they may include assessment tools like SWOT, SMART(er), PEST, LIFE WHEELS and so on.
The truth about coaching is that the coach learns more from the coaching session than the client and as such is constantly broadening their perspectives and approaches.
f) Adherence to the 'Process' Coaching is a process and all processes have models and structures.
Effective coaches not only have an awareness of the various coaching models, but have developed a skill in knowing which one suits which situation and then sticks to it! g) A commitment and passion for learning Coaching is not simply about having done the course or the workshop, it is about the constant desire to learn and know more about life, the mind, the human condition.
Any coach not engaged in their own learning, like any teacher, should not be allowed to practice.
How can you model learning and change if you are not actively involved in it? h) An ability to embrace Change Change is the only constant in the universe.
To accept, recognise and embrace change is the coaches reason to be.
They help others recognise, accept, manage and promote change.
If they cannot do so themselves how can they inspire others i) The Four Key Meta-Skills The following four key skill domains are based upon the educational training the author is actively involved in.
They were identified as needing to form the core of the educational curriculum and are as relevant to coaches as they are to educators.
So if you are coach where are you on the journey towards mastery of these skills? Remember mastery itself is not a destination but a journey, The real 'master' knows enough to know that they don't know enough.
They engage in learning, bathe in experience so as to become more masterful and in so doing know they know even less.
Coaching as an idea has been around for a long long time, normally applied to the sporting or athletic domains however.
For some people the term 'Life Coach" seemed to be implying that the coach was professing to be an expert in 'Life'; they were 'together" people who had found the secret to life, love, wealth and happiness.
Well lets dispel that myth completely...
The person who coaches an Olympic athlete is not necessarily someone who could win the gold medal.
No, They simply claim to understand the physical techniques, mental attitudes and skills that make for a gold medal winner.
Athletic coaches have an 'eye' for talent and potential talent and know how to develop it.
So a Life Coach, by direct comparison, has acquired a perspective about human behaviours and motivations; is aware of the physical, mental and emotional attitudes that contribute to personal success and can help others understand those factors.
Coaching is a PROCESS as well as an attitude.
There is a concern that far too many 'instant coaches', those who have followed a weekend course in coaching skills, have the attitude that they have experienced life in such a way as to give them a particular set of solutions for the specific 'ills' of humanity.
This kind of ego driven coaching does little more than 'convert' others to a particular way of life; belief system or life-style guru..
This kind of approach is alien to the professional personal coach and, in the minds of some is totally against the ethos of effective coaching.
The following skill set is derived from the NLP Coaching training delivered by Inspire NLP and is common to the most effective coaches.
A Coaching Skill Set a) Being able to stay neutral to the clients position In NLP terms being able to stay in 3rd Position means that your role is one of an observer who is trying to see the wood and not the trees.
Sometimes described as the 'helicopter position', being neutral (in third position) means that the coach takes an objective view of the clients subjective world.
b) High Quality Listening Skills This includes the ability to bracket and put aside personal values, attitudes and beliefs in order to listen to what is being said.
It implies that the listener is happy with the importance of silence - especially the silence of their own voice.
it also relies upon quality rapport building skills.
Remember you stop listening the moment you:-
- are waiting to say something
- have a strong emotional reaction to another persons language, beliefs and attitudes
- when you become sympathetic to the client
- you become aware of the world outside if the moment
The NLP Meta-Model when applied sensitively is a superb tool in this regard.
Questioning skills include
- Questioning for understanding
- Questioning for clarity
- Questioning for solutions/options
Coaching is not counselling! The key concern of the coach is to ascertain where the client is NOW and where they want to be in the future! This means that through effective questioning and listening the coach can guide the client through an assessment of where they are now in relation to defined goals and targets and ask questions about how they can move from current reality to future possibility.
e) A Personal Tool Kit A coach is constantly reviewing their personal tool kit.
This tool kit will include an eclectic range of approaches, techniques, 'tricks' and tools to enhance the clients understanding of their current and future states.
Psychologically these tools may include relaxation and visualisation techniques; practically they may include assessment tools like SWOT, SMART(er), PEST, LIFE WHEELS and so on.
The truth about coaching is that the coach learns more from the coaching session than the client and as such is constantly broadening their perspectives and approaches.
f) Adherence to the 'Process' Coaching is a process and all processes have models and structures.
Effective coaches not only have an awareness of the various coaching models, but have developed a skill in knowing which one suits which situation and then sticks to it! g) A commitment and passion for learning Coaching is not simply about having done the course or the workshop, it is about the constant desire to learn and know more about life, the mind, the human condition.
Any coach not engaged in their own learning, like any teacher, should not be allowed to practice.
How can you model learning and change if you are not actively involved in it? h) An ability to embrace Change Change is the only constant in the universe.
To accept, recognise and embrace change is the coaches reason to be.
They help others recognise, accept, manage and promote change.
If they cannot do so themselves how can they inspire others i) The Four Key Meta-Skills The following four key skill domains are based upon the educational training the author is actively involved in.
They were identified as needing to form the core of the educational curriculum and are as relevant to coaches as they are to educators.
- The ability to access and assess information
- The ability to communicate effectively in a range of domains
- The ability to manage and lead self
- The ability to manage change
So if you are coach where are you on the journey towards mastery of these skills? Remember mastery itself is not a destination but a journey, The real 'master' knows enough to know that they don't know enough.
They engage in learning, bathe in experience so as to become more masterful and in so doing know they know even less.
