Can You Save Your Marriage Once Divorce Has Been Suggested?
It's the moment you've been dreading.
Your heart sinks and your world feels as though it's falling apart.
Your partner has just told you they want a divorce.
You probably knew that the marriage was in trouble, but now there's no hope of saving the relationship - or is there? Unfortunately many folks view divorce as an easy option, possibly as the only way out of an unsatisfying relationship.
But, interestingly, if that option was removed, over half of these couples would still be together five years later - and happily.
That's because, if divorce was not an option, barring any abuse or psychological problems, they would have to sit down together and talk their problems through.
Divorce is a painful and stressful process.
It is emotionally and financially draining and has a huge psychological impact on all those involved.
It is not a decision that should be taken lightly.
But nowadays, people seem to have lost the skill of communication and marriage has become part of our throw away society.
With busy lives and interests outside of the relationship, couples often forget that marriages must be worked at.
And communication is key.
However, if things have gotten so bad that divorce now appears the best option - seek help.
I don't mean help from well meaning friends or relations - I mean help from qualified and experienced professionals.
They will be used to dealing with marriage breakdowns and will be able to assess things free from the emotional baggage that every marriage brings.
They can see things more clearly as they are not harboring the anger or the hurt that you and/or your spouse will be.
But more importantly, they will know that bitterness and disagreements, do not necessarily mean an irreparable rift between partners.
With good communication skills between the two of you and a shared commitment to making the marriage work, most issues can be overcome.
However, when one partner is on the brink of abandoning the marriage, how can the remaining partner save things? If you find yourself at point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do to make things right? You must realize first that, YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
Often, when in this situation, we feel that we have no options and no choices in the matter.
It's hard to know how to change a situation when it's not just our feelings that are involved.
How can we possible influence what someone else feels? And While you must not even think about manipulating, bribing or threatening your spouse into changing their minds, you can totally control your own reactions to the situation.
Because the one thing that you must remember, is that you still have and always will have total control over yourself.
This is your opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own behavior and actions.
You need to be honest with yourself and no matter how painful, admit that there are things wrong in the marriage that need to change.
This is the time to take action and put into practice anything that you possibly can to improve the situation between the two of you.
On one hand, you can wallow in self pity and heap all the blame on your partner, on the other, you can choose to see things in a new light and view this as an opportunity to put right anything that you feel you could improve upon.
It is easy to fall into complacency when you've been together for a while, take each other for granted and not make time for each other.
Well now is the time to make your marriage THE priority.
Be accountable for where your marriage is at this time and take the necessary steps to progress towards a more fulfilling relationship.
This will come from you and your attitude.
No matter if your spouse is angry, stubborn and unresponsive to you, carry on with your plan to change yourself and become as thoughtful, positive and proactive as you were when you first met and fell in love.
Usually, at the struggling stage of a relationship, one or both partners will reminisce and miss the good old days where it was wonderful just to be in the same room.
Your aim is to re-capture those days and those feelings.
After all, you now have an established friendship and a history together in which there are wonderful, shared memories and time spent investing in the marriage.
By showing your partner that you are willing to put effort and commitment into saving your relationship you are demonstrating that you really want the marriage to work.
Without putting any pressure your partner, become a loving person by caring for your spouse in the small everyday things.
Make time for them, although you may be busy, let them know that you are interested in their life, hobbies and interests.
Then, when the time comes and your patience pays off, you will be able to sit down together and discuss the crisis you're in.
Listen to what your partner says and acknowledge that changes will have to be made in order for your marriage to succeed and hopefully be stronger than ever.
Your heart sinks and your world feels as though it's falling apart.
Your partner has just told you they want a divorce.
You probably knew that the marriage was in trouble, but now there's no hope of saving the relationship - or is there? Unfortunately many folks view divorce as an easy option, possibly as the only way out of an unsatisfying relationship.
But, interestingly, if that option was removed, over half of these couples would still be together five years later - and happily.
That's because, if divorce was not an option, barring any abuse or psychological problems, they would have to sit down together and talk their problems through.
Divorce is a painful and stressful process.
It is emotionally and financially draining and has a huge psychological impact on all those involved.
It is not a decision that should be taken lightly.
But nowadays, people seem to have lost the skill of communication and marriage has become part of our throw away society.
With busy lives and interests outside of the relationship, couples often forget that marriages must be worked at.
And communication is key.
However, if things have gotten so bad that divorce now appears the best option - seek help.
I don't mean help from well meaning friends or relations - I mean help from qualified and experienced professionals.
They will be used to dealing with marriage breakdowns and will be able to assess things free from the emotional baggage that every marriage brings.
They can see things more clearly as they are not harboring the anger or the hurt that you and/or your spouse will be.
But more importantly, they will know that bitterness and disagreements, do not necessarily mean an irreparable rift between partners.
With good communication skills between the two of you and a shared commitment to making the marriage work, most issues can be overcome.
However, when one partner is on the brink of abandoning the marriage, how can the remaining partner save things? If you find yourself at point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do to make things right? You must realize first that, YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
Often, when in this situation, we feel that we have no options and no choices in the matter.
It's hard to know how to change a situation when it's not just our feelings that are involved.
How can we possible influence what someone else feels? And While you must not even think about manipulating, bribing or threatening your spouse into changing their minds, you can totally control your own reactions to the situation.
Because the one thing that you must remember, is that you still have and always will have total control over yourself.
This is your opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own behavior and actions.
You need to be honest with yourself and no matter how painful, admit that there are things wrong in the marriage that need to change.
This is the time to take action and put into practice anything that you possibly can to improve the situation between the two of you.
On one hand, you can wallow in self pity and heap all the blame on your partner, on the other, you can choose to see things in a new light and view this as an opportunity to put right anything that you feel you could improve upon.
It is easy to fall into complacency when you've been together for a while, take each other for granted and not make time for each other.
Well now is the time to make your marriage THE priority.
Be accountable for where your marriage is at this time and take the necessary steps to progress towards a more fulfilling relationship.
This will come from you and your attitude.
No matter if your spouse is angry, stubborn and unresponsive to you, carry on with your plan to change yourself and become as thoughtful, positive and proactive as you were when you first met and fell in love.
Usually, at the struggling stage of a relationship, one or both partners will reminisce and miss the good old days where it was wonderful just to be in the same room.
Your aim is to re-capture those days and those feelings.
After all, you now have an established friendship and a history together in which there are wonderful, shared memories and time spent investing in the marriage.
By showing your partner that you are willing to put effort and commitment into saving your relationship you are demonstrating that you really want the marriage to work.
Without putting any pressure your partner, become a loving person by caring for your spouse in the small everyday things.
Make time for them, although you may be busy, let them know that you are interested in their life, hobbies and interests.
Then, when the time comes and your patience pays off, you will be able to sit down together and discuss the crisis you're in.
Listen to what your partner says and acknowledge that changes will have to be made in order for your marriage to succeed and hopefully be stronger than ever.
