Story Time: Not Just for Children Anymore
Updated March 05, 2015.
Stories reveal that breastfeeding is more than the kind of milk we feed our babies but involves an on-going, intimate relationship between a mother and her child. Women talk about how they nurture their children at their breast. Their milk doesn’t simply nourish; it soothes, pacifies, sedates. “Every time we nurse I feel like we become one again, like I could melt into her, reveals a mother in Michigan.
“It is the deepest love I’ve ever felt.
Stories also reveal themes not typically heard in breastfeeding promotional literature. Julie, a college student in Texas, became pregnant two months shy of her high school graduation and struggled with a decade’s worth of body and self-esteem issues. “Through breastfeeding,” she writes, “I reject what society has told me my body parts are for, where my value as a woman lies, and what exactly I am capable of. I can sustain the life of another human being so that he flourishes and I can do so without the help of corporations, machines or imitations of myself.”
Stories reveal many of breastfeeding’s hidden benefits. “I discovered that you can use breast milk for everything,” said a mother in Alabama. “A mild case of diaper rash? Breast milk. Pink eye? Breast milk. It was amazing. I like that I can nurture my children in a way that no one else can.”
“Even if Jade and I are on different pages after a day of being apart,” says a single mother in California, “nursing is a happy, pleasurable way to bring us back together.
It makes me feel like a wonderful and strong provider.”
Empowerment. Healing. Transformation. Such are the secrets that women’s stories reveal.
Stories create empathy
Not only do stories enhance our understanding of why breastfeeding matters to women, they help build compassion for mothers who end up bottle feeding. Breastfeeding mothers often accuse bottle-feeding mothers of not caring about their children. Mothers who use formula often accuse breastfeeding advocates of being strident and insensitive.
Staci, a mother in Nebraska who encountered numerous breastfeeding problems, explains, “What many don’t realize is that when a woman fails after wanting so badly to succeed at breastfeeding, she is literally going through a phase of mourning.”
Stories can help break down the façade of anger and accusation.
Stories reveal cultural patterns and commonalities.
When similar themes emerge in story after story, it becomes clear that despite the uniqueness of each woman’s experience, there are underlying cultural patterns and commonalities. How else do we discover, for example, that few women who have a planned home birth go on to have breastfeeding difficulties, while women who give birth in U.S. hospitals are plagued by them? How else do we account for the similar struggles women face when so many mothers have to return to work at six weeks post-partum? How else do we understand why so many women in the U.S. fail to trust the ability of their bodies to birth and nurture children and end up surprised at the impact breastfeeding has on their self-esteem? And how else do we understand that many of the challenges American women face are not problems elsewhere in the world?
Stories help us understand the cultural roots of our experiences and the interpretations we give to them. They show us that what we face our not simply private problems, but larger issues that must be addressed by society.
Start Talking!
In a society in which pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing are subject to increasingly sophisticated technology and ever-ready “expert” advice, women have the power to be each others’ greatest allies. Mothers just have to open up. And health care providers should remember that sometimes “just listening” can make all the difference to a new mother.
Barbara L. Behrmann, Ph.D. is the author of The Breastfeeding Café: Mothers Share the Joys, Secrets & Challenges of Nursing, University of Michigan Press, 2005. She is available for talks, readings, and conducting birthing and breastfeeding writing circles. Visit her website at www.breastfeedingcafe.com.
Stories reveal that breastfeeding is more than the kind of milk we feed our babies but involves an on-going, intimate relationship between a mother and her child. Women talk about how they nurture their children at their breast. Their milk doesn’t simply nourish; it soothes, pacifies, sedates. “Every time we nurse I feel like we become one again, like I could melt into her, reveals a mother in Michigan.
“It is the deepest love I’ve ever felt.
Stories also reveal themes not typically heard in breastfeeding promotional literature. Julie, a college student in Texas, became pregnant two months shy of her high school graduation and struggled with a decade’s worth of body and self-esteem issues. “Through breastfeeding,” she writes, “I reject what society has told me my body parts are for, where my value as a woman lies, and what exactly I am capable of. I can sustain the life of another human being so that he flourishes and I can do so without the help of corporations, machines or imitations of myself.”
Stories reveal many of breastfeeding’s hidden benefits. “I discovered that you can use breast milk for everything,” said a mother in Alabama. “A mild case of diaper rash? Breast milk. Pink eye? Breast milk. It was amazing. I like that I can nurture my children in a way that no one else can.”
“Even if Jade and I are on different pages after a day of being apart,” says a single mother in California, “nursing is a happy, pleasurable way to bring us back together.
It makes me feel like a wonderful and strong provider.”
Empowerment. Healing. Transformation. Such are the secrets that women’s stories reveal.
Stories create empathy
Not only do stories enhance our understanding of why breastfeeding matters to women, they help build compassion for mothers who end up bottle feeding. Breastfeeding mothers often accuse bottle-feeding mothers of not caring about their children. Mothers who use formula often accuse breastfeeding advocates of being strident and insensitive.
Staci, a mother in Nebraska who encountered numerous breastfeeding problems, explains, “What many don’t realize is that when a woman fails after wanting so badly to succeed at breastfeeding, she is literally going through a phase of mourning.”
Stories can help break down the façade of anger and accusation.
Stories reveal cultural patterns and commonalities.
When similar themes emerge in story after story, it becomes clear that despite the uniqueness of each woman’s experience, there are underlying cultural patterns and commonalities. How else do we discover, for example, that few women who have a planned home birth go on to have breastfeeding difficulties, while women who give birth in U.S. hospitals are plagued by them? How else do we account for the similar struggles women face when so many mothers have to return to work at six weeks post-partum? How else do we understand why so many women in the U.S. fail to trust the ability of their bodies to birth and nurture children and end up surprised at the impact breastfeeding has on their self-esteem? And how else do we understand that many of the challenges American women face are not problems elsewhere in the world?
Stories help us understand the cultural roots of our experiences and the interpretations we give to them. They show us that what we face our not simply private problems, but larger issues that must be addressed by society.
Start Talking!
In a society in which pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing are subject to increasingly sophisticated technology and ever-ready “expert” advice, women have the power to be each others’ greatest allies. Mothers just have to open up. And health care providers should remember that sometimes “just listening” can make all the difference to a new mother.
Barbara L. Behrmann, Ph.D. is the author of The Breastfeeding Café: Mothers Share the Joys, Secrets & Challenges of Nursing, University of Michigan Press, 2005. She is available for talks, readings, and conducting birthing and breastfeeding writing circles. Visit her website at www.breastfeedingcafe.com.
