Stress Management: One Simple Tip For Managing Difficult People
Many of the people who I counsel complain of interpersonal problems with bosses, coworkers and family members.
People frequently report experiencing a range of physical symptoms and psychological problems as a result of unpleasant interactions with other "challenging" people.
A difficult boss, a critical colleague, a controlling mother-in-law, a needy friend, a demanding client or a non-compliant patient can create a significant amount of stress for most of us.
Troublesome and stressful relationships can cause frustration, anxiety, depression and insomnia.
Prolonged contact with people who are hard to get along with or difficult to manage can cause some people to become quite anxious and/or quite depressed.
There are many self-help books which offer guidance on getting along better with the people we encounter in various aspects of out lives.
And there is no question that getting along with all kinds of people is a constant challenge for all of us.
For many years, philosophers, psychologists and theologians have debated whether people are good or evil by nature.
In my practice, for quite some time, I have been reminding people of one of my own observations about human beings and human nature.
The advice is quite simple and it goes like this.
If you go to a party and meet one hundred people, you will probably discover that you had neutral feelings about two thirds of the people in attendance.
In other words, about seventy people were okay.
You would also probably discover that roughly fifteen of them were very nice.
Perhaps these are people who you would like to be very close with.
The remaining fifteen people will probably be unpleasant, obnoxious or difficult to be around.
Now, if you recall you classes in statistics, you will realize that people tend to follow what is called a "normal curve," with regard to niceness.
You may want to remind yourself of this "statistical truth," when you encounter a bothersome person, as it will help you place your feelings about that person in a healthy and practical perspective.
You will also find it useful to devote as much time and energy to the people who are nice.
Sure, if you have a difficult boss or mother-in-law, it may be hard to avoid them completely.
However, you will feel better if you focus as much as possible on the positive folks in your life and remind yourself of the fact that there are all different kinds of people in our universe.
People frequently report experiencing a range of physical symptoms and psychological problems as a result of unpleasant interactions with other "challenging" people.
A difficult boss, a critical colleague, a controlling mother-in-law, a needy friend, a demanding client or a non-compliant patient can create a significant amount of stress for most of us.
Troublesome and stressful relationships can cause frustration, anxiety, depression and insomnia.
Prolonged contact with people who are hard to get along with or difficult to manage can cause some people to become quite anxious and/or quite depressed.
There are many self-help books which offer guidance on getting along better with the people we encounter in various aspects of out lives.
And there is no question that getting along with all kinds of people is a constant challenge for all of us.
For many years, philosophers, psychologists and theologians have debated whether people are good or evil by nature.
In my practice, for quite some time, I have been reminding people of one of my own observations about human beings and human nature.
The advice is quite simple and it goes like this.
If you go to a party and meet one hundred people, you will probably discover that you had neutral feelings about two thirds of the people in attendance.
In other words, about seventy people were okay.
You would also probably discover that roughly fifteen of them were very nice.
Perhaps these are people who you would like to be very close with.
The remaining fifteen people will probably be unpleasant, obnoxious or difficult to be around.
Now, if you recall you classes in statistics, you will realize that people tend to follow what is called a "normal curve," with regard to niceness.
You may want to remind yourself of this "statistical truth," when you encounter a bothersome person, as it will help you place your feelings about that person in a healthy and practical perspective.
You will also find it useful to devote as much time and energy to the people who are nice.
Sure, if you have a difficult boss or mother-in-law, it may be hard to avoid them completely.
However, you will feel better if you focus as much as possible on the positive folks in your life and remind yourself of the fact that there are all different kinds of people in our universe.
