After the breakup, it's best not to rush trying to get back with your ex.
It takes time for intense feelings and emotions to settle down.
Being happily alone requires practice and commitment to that goal.
The time will come when you can make a rational decision.
After completing the following seven steps, you should be ready: 1) You've successfully stayed away from your ex for at least one month.
You have had no contact or only limited contact with him.
Not only does this help you clarify your feelings, it gives your ex a chance to clarify his feelings about the relationship.
2) You've gotten a handle on your emotions.
You're familiar with their patterns.
You still feel the hurt, but these emotions no longer overwhelm you.
3) You're ready to actually listen to your ex.
You are willing to own up to your part in the break up without rancor.
You can make a sincere apology if necessary.
4) You have analyzed the pros and cons of the relationship.
Selective memory, remembering only the good times and not the bad, is not clouding your judgement.
You remember and can evaluate the relative importance of each.
You aren't deluding yourself about what it was like being with your ex.
5) You've worked hard on developing a positive attitude.
You have started taking care of your health along with your appearance.
You feel increased confidence and interest in life.
6) You've found ways of improving your life.
You have developed a new social life.
Renewing old friendships, making new friends.
You've found new interests to engage you.
You've even started dating again.
7) You know as much as you love him, you can live well without him.
Getting back with your ex is a choice, not a compulsion.
After reaching this stage, you have regained balance in your life.
Being able to accomplish these seven steps demonstrates you have regained your composure.
The increased self-confidence itself makes you more attractive.