Emotional affairs, what are they and how can they destroy your marriage?

An emotional affair is when your partner has developed a close bond with someone else, for example a workmate and that relationship has grown to one of a closer and more intimate nature.

Loving partnerships are usually based on a strong, emotional connection between two people. When one of them looks outside to find fulfilment of an emotional or sexual nature, this amounts to infidelity within that relationship.

Let's face it with the Internet, mobile phones and all the new technologies available, it is far easier for your partner to be unfaithful to you.

For instance, have you ever been guilty of checking your partner's phone, because they seem to be getting lots of text messages and often at strange times?  Even though this is a destructive thing to do, if you suspect something, you may find it hard to stop doing it. Maybe you discover a name that you don't know and it keeps cropping up time and time again and the messages you read are more than just a friendly interest.

In this case, if your partner has an emotionally intimate connection with that person, any intimacy that you have in your marriage becomes diluted. Think about it, sharing your innermost thoughts with someone who isn't your partner shows that you have developed an emotional connection with them.

Usually, when confronted, your partner will logically argue with the following question. "Are you saying I can't have friends of the opposite sex?" This is to make you feel guilty and this technique often works extremely well at stopping further questions.

So, if this is happening to you, how can you know if the relationship has moved on to a physical level? The truthful answer is that you cannot. Probably more important, is to recognize that you have experienced a breakdown in the intimacy of your relationship.

If your partner has admitted to having at least an "emotional affair", you can begin to repair the bond of your partnership. This is where you need to start to focus your attention and to work at building back the intimacy for a good relationship.

How do you do this?

1. Assess the Emotional Connection Between You and Your Partner - The reality is that there are no excuses for your partner to cheat, by having an emotional affair or a sexual one. You will probably want to know why they cheated. Cheating usually occurs because there is dissatisfaction within the relationship, lack of communication or intimacy and then eventually resentment on the part of the cheater. You need to assess how you both communicate and how effective it really is.
2. Understand How You Communicate – Communication is not purely talking. It also covers the non verbal communication, which could be as simple as sharing time together, a kiss, flirting or maybe just a quick note. Both of these forms of communication are crucial to forming a deeper bond between you. If one of these is lacking, then this can be one of the causes for your partner straying to find someone who will fulfil that need and make them feel "special".

If the communication in your partnership has reached the point of being almost non-existent, then to save it, you will need to strengthen it by experimenting with new ways of connecting at a more intimate level.

This is only the beginning of your work towards a stronger, deeper emotional connection with your partner. There are also other elements that you will need to work on to create a more fulfilling partnership. This will eventually you move you beyond your partner's emotional affair.

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