How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You
As we go through life, we will be hurt by the words and actions of others.
It is normal and healthy to have a period of time when you process your raw emotions, such as anger, frustration, injustice, or sadness.
In order to learn from the experience and evolve, you must get to a place of forgiveness.
Most people think that forgiveness is about excusing the actions of another.
It isn't.
Forgiveness is releasing the grip the person and experience has on you.
When you don't forgive, the person or situation continues to affect you.
Perhaps you have a hard time trusting people.
Maybe you've become isolated or cynical.
You may assume that people are only going to disappoint you, so you become hyper-vigilant for signs to prove your assumption.
Essentially, your heart is closed out of fear and over-protection.
When you forgive, you help to re-open your heart, clear out some of the darkness, and make room for the light.
You may get some short-term benefits from a closed heart.
But, in the long run, a closed heart does not serve you.
When you open your heart, you're more open to love and the goodness in life and people.
You deepen your ability to connect and build relationships (both personally and professionally).
You are more pleasant to be around and, in turn, new opportunities unveil themselves.
Here are three steps to forgive the people who have hurt you.
Note, what I ask of you will not be easy at times.
Do them in stages and take as long as you need.
Set the intention to move toward complete forgiveness and take incremental steps toward it.
1.
Fully feel your raw emotions.
Give yourself permission to completely feel your feelings - all of them.
You may journal about it, talk with people you trust, or just process it alone.
The key is to go into the emotion.
Let out the tears or screams.
You must truly release it (otherwise, it remains trapped inside of you).
This step is VERY important.
Don't try to rush through it.
Revisit this step whenever you struggle with the next two steps.
2.
Stand in your power.
If you are physically able to do so, I recommend literally standing with your feet hip-width apart, spine straight, and head raised.
I find that this stance greatly helps me and my clients to better access our true strength and power.
(Note, not an ego-based power, but one that is divine and truly grounded in love, generosity, and compassion).
Once you are in the physical stance, allow yourself to feel your power in your body (you should notice a surge of energy).
As you feel that expanded sense of power within you, take time to vividly recall the situation where you felt hurt.
Send love and light to yourself.
See yourself as whole and healed.
From this powerful and expanded place, notice how you have grown from the experience.
Remain connected to your own divine strength and its abundant capacity to love and heal.
3.
Radiate love and light to the person who hurt you.
This step is by far the most challenging.
Nevertheless, it is essential.
It has nothing to do with the other person.
It has everything to do with you reclaiming your own ability to love, trust, and experience joy without limitations.
Significantly, this action should not be interpreted as condoning the actions of the person who hurt you.
While you are in the expanded and powerful stance noted in the previous step, send love and light to the individuals who hurt you.
By loving and sending light to those who have hurt you, you reclaim your power and are no longer beholden to the negativity of the experience.
Please note, if this step feels too difficult, repeat steps one and two.
You will not get the true benefits of forgiveness if you try to rush to this step.
Admittedly, the steps outlined above are challenging and require you to courageously face your pain and embrace your own personal and divine power.
True forgiveness happens in stages.
Be gentle with yourself and your process.
Regardless of how long it takes, know that each incremental step is releasing negative emotions that are trapped within you and making room for greater joy in your life.
It is normal and healthy to have a period of time when you process your raw emotions, such as anger, frustration, injustice, or sadness.
In order to learn from the experience and evolve, you must get to a place of forgiveness.
Most people think that forgiveness is about excusing the actions of another.
It isn't.
Forgiveness is releasing the grip the person and experience has on you.
When you don't forgive, the person or situation continues to affect you.
Perhaps you have a hard time trusting people.
Maybe you've become isolated or cynical.
You may assume that people are only going to disappoint you, so you become hyper-vigilant for signs to prove your assumption.
Essentially, your heart is closed out of fear and over-protection.
When you forgive, you help to re-open your heart, clear out some of the darkness, and make room for the light.
You may get some short-term benefits from a closed heart.
But, in the long run, a closed heart does not serve you.
When you open your heart, you're more open to love and the goodness in life and people.
You deepen your ability to connect and build relationships (both personally and professionally).
You are more pleasant to be around and, in turn, new opportunities unveil themselves.
Here are three steps to forgive the people who have hurt you.
Note, what I ask of you will not be easy at times.
Do them in stages and take as long as you need.
Set the intention to move toward complete forgiveness and take incremental steps toward it.
1.
Fully feel your raw emotions.
Give yourself permission to completely feel your feelings - all of them.
You may journal about it, talk with people you trust, or just process it alone.
The key is to go into the emotion.
Let out the tears or screams.
You must truly release it (otherwise, it remains trapped inside of you).
This step is VERY important.
Don't try to rush through it.
Revisit this step whenever you struggle with the next two steps.
2.
Stand in your power.
If you are physically able to do so, I recommend literally standing with your feet hip-width apart, spine straight, and head raised.
I find that this stance greatly helps me and my clients to better access our true strength and power.
(Note, not an ego-based power, but one that is divine and truly grounded in love, generosity, and compassion).
Once you are in the physical stance, allow yourself to feel your power in your body (you should notice a surge of energy).
As you feel that expanded sense of power within you, take time to vividly recall the situation where you felt hurt.
Send love and light to yourself.
See yourself as whole and healed.
From this powerful and expanded place, notice how you have grown from the experience.
Remain connected to your own divine strength and its abundant capacity to love and heal.
3.
Radiate love and light to the person who hurt you.
This step is by far the most challenging.
Nevertheless, it is essential.
It has nothing to do with the other person.
It has everything to do with you reclaiming your own ability to love, trust, and experience joy without limitations.
Significantly, this action should not be interpreted as condoning the actions of the person who hurt you.
While you are in the expanded and powerful stance noted in the previous step, send love and light to the individuals who hurt you.
By loving and sending light to those who have hurt you, you reclaim your power and are no longer beholden to the negativity of the experience.
Please note, if this step feels too difficult, repeat steps one and two.
You will not get the true benefits of forgiveness if you try to rush to this step.
Admittedly, the steps outlined above are challenging and require you to courageously face your pain and embrace your own personal and divine power.
True forgiveness happens in stages.
Be gentle with yourself and your process.
Regardless of how long it takes, know that each incremental step is releasing negative emotions that are trapped within you and making room for greater joy in your life.
