Is There Life After Divorce?
Going through a divorce is a painful thing.
People would say that those who are dealing with divorce are undergoing a feeling of loss tantamount to a death in the family.
And truly it can be considered as such.
Divorce can leave anyone devastated regardless of the conditions and whether the divorce was welcomed or not.
That is because a connection considered vital has been severed.
A connection so vital that it was promised that only death can part it.
And yet here you are, still alive and breathing, pained and with a relationship whose end has been a long time coming.
In fleeting moments of intense grief you contemplate and ask yourself "How do I find happiness after all of this?" The feeling of betrayal so choking that you think you can no longer trust anyone again.
It is so difficult to imagine that there are better days ahead.
Yet there will be.
What is important in a divorce is that you settle things right.
If you did not succeed in your marriage you have to make certain that this divorce at least succeeds with both parties walking away content.
You owe it to each other and you owe it even more to your children.
You have to first accept that this is the conclusion of your marriage.
You need not totally accept it at first but you must completely open yourself up to accepting it.
This means that you have to let go of all your resentments, your ego, and revenge fantasies, perhaps in time and not all at once.
As far as the legalities go, opt for divorce mediation where both you and your soon to be ex-spouse together with a neutral third party amicably resolve the issues regarding your divorce.
Legal litigation just puts you at confrontational odds against each other and does not cultivate a condition conducive for both of you to move on.
Keeping the peace, and in effect, keeping friends with your ex is of utmost importance so that both of you can limit the trauma that your children will have to endure.
Yes, this is an inescapable consequence you have to deal with.
Your children will always come out of the divorce at a loss.
So you have to do your best to make it easier for them.
This in turn will make it easier for you to find happiness after the dust of the divorce has settled.
The amount of time to completely move on after a divorce is as varied as the reasons for divorce itself.
Some take two years and others can span decades.
But whatever the length of time you require, the sooner you allow yourself to grieve the loss, the sooner you can move on and find happiness in your life after divorce.
My heart goes out to you all and may you find your happiness.
People would say that those who are dealing with divorce are undergoing a feeling of loss tantamount to a death in the family.
And truly it can be considered as such.
Divorce can leave anyone devastated regardless of the conditions and whether the divorce was welcomed or not.
That is because a connection considered vital has been severed.
A connection so vital that it was promised that only death can part it.
And yet here you are, still alive and breathing, pained and with a relationship whose end has been a long time coming.
In fleeting moments of intense grief you contemplate and ask yourself "How do I find happiness after all of this?" The feeling of betrayal so choking that you think you can no longer trust anyone again.
It is so difficult to imagine that there are better days ahead.
Yet there will be.
What is important in a divorce is that you settle things right.
If you did not succeed in your marriage you have to make certain that this divorce at least succeeds with both parties walking away content.
You owe it to each other and you owe it even more to your children.
You have to first accept that this is the conclusion of your marriage.
You need not totally accept it at first but you must completely open yourself up to accepting it.
This means that you have to let go of all your resentments, your ego, and revenge fantasies, perhaps in time and not all at once.
As far as the legalities go, opt for divorce mediation where both you and your soon to be ex-spouse together with a neutral third party amicably resolve the issues regarding your divorce.
Legal litigation just puts you at confrontational odds against each other and does not cultivate a condition conducive for both of you to move on.
Keeping the peace, and in effect, keeping friends with your ex is of utmost importance so that both of you can limit the trauma that your children will have to endure.
Yes, this is an inescapable consequence you have to deal with.
Your children will always come out of the divorce at a loss.
So you have to do your best to make it easier for them.
This in turn will make it easier for you to find happiness after the dust of the divorce has settled.
The amount of time to completely move on after a divorce is as varied as the reasons for divorce itself.
Some take two years and others can span decades.
But whatever the length of time you require, the sooner you allow yourself to grieve the loss, the sooner you can move on and find happiness in your life after divorce.
My heart goes out to you all and may you find your happiness.
