How To Release Self Hatred
We all suffer from it to some degree.
Maybe we were told that we're sinners, or that we were born with original sin. Even if that's not the way we think today, if we were taught these things as children, those tapes are still playing deep down inside, like embedded mp3's.
Or it could have other roots, from our parents to our siblings to our teachers telling us we weren't good enough in any of a thousand ways. Even if we didn't really believe it, our efficient new little minds took it in as part of our lessons about what life on this planet was all about. And one of the things we found out was that we weren't good enough.
It's not that just our actions weren't good enough, but that there was something fundamentally "wrong" with our selves.
Then here we are, years later, all grown up, and just when we think we're over it, BAM! We catch ourselves saying things like "what an idiot I am" or "how could I be so selfish?"
So how do we get over it? It's not like we deliberately hold on to the thoughts of unworthiness and guilt. It's that we just can't seem to help it.
If you've ever said something like, "I can't help what I'm thinking!" there's your first clue. You're not in charge of your mind. Don't feel bad. Nobody is at a conscious level.
The problem is that we have two minds. Our conscious mind is the part of us we're aware of, it's the ego, and it thinks that's who we are. But it's only the most superficial part of who we are. In fact, it's our subconscious that's driving our bus, and that's the part we're protesting against when we say that we can't help what we're thinking.
Our conscious mind is not in control, and of course the conscious mind really can't help what we're thinking on a deeper level - the level that really controls our lives.
Psychotherapy may be useful here, and it certainly is the mainstream approach to emotional problems. It tends to be very long term oriented and expensive, and while it is helpful for some people, the results are not as consistent or as deep as with some newer methods.
Sometimes enlightened pastoral counseling can be helpful as well. This is when you would go to your clergy for counseling. This can be useful especially if you suffer from the type of self-condemnation that came about in the first place because of religious teachings.
One of the classic newer ways to reprogram the subconscious is through the use of affirmations. The use of affirmations is an outgrowth of the New Thought movement. Affirmations consist of repeating positive phrases, or affirmations, such as "I truly love and appreciate myself" many times daily.
While that is a bit of an oversimplification, books like Louise Hay's "Heal Your Body" and "You Can Heal Your Life" are excellent in depth resources for this type of approach. There is also a new movie "You Can Heal Your Life" featuring Louise Hay herself and many other top teachers which would be a great place to start.
The most exciting new developments in this field, however, have come about through the use of "energy psychology." There are two basic forms of this, TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) and MTT (Meridian Tapping Therapies such as EFT and TFT). These techniques bypass the conscious mind by addressing the body's energy system, where negative emotions and programming are literally stored, or encoded.
Because these patterns can be released by actually removing them from the energy system, these techniques are much faster than traditional psychotherapy. And because they are so much faster, they tend to be far less expensive. The downside is that most insurance companies will not yet cover energy psychology, or energy medicine, while they usually will cover psychotherapy.
You don't have to be stuck with self-defeating thinking. Investigate some of the methods described above. See what feels like a good fit for you. If one method doesn't work, try another. What works for one person may not work for you. Don't give up, because there is hope. Yes, even for you!
Maybe we were told that we're sinners, or that we were born with original sin. Even if that's not the way we think today, if we were taught these things as children, those tapes are still playing deep down inside, like embedded mp3's.
Or it could have other roots, from our parents to our siblings to our teachers telling us we weren't good enough in any of a thousand ways. Even if we didn't really believe it, our efficient new little minds took it in as part of our lessons about what life on this planet was all about. And one of the things we found out was that we weren't good enough.
It's not that just our actions weren't good enough, but that there was something fundamentally "wrong" with our selves.
Then here we are, years later, all grown up, and just when we think we're over it, BAM! We catch ourselves saying things like "what an idiot I am" or "how could I be so selfish?"
So how do we get over it? It's not like we deliberately hold on to the thoughts of unworthiness and guilt. It's that we just can't seem to help it.
If you've ever said something like, "I can't help what I'm thinking!" there's your first clue. You're not in charge of your mind. Don't feel bad. Nobody is at a conscious level.
The problem is that we have two minds. Our conscious mind is the part of us we're aware of, it's the ego, and it thinks that's who we are. But it's only the most superficial part of who we are. In fact, it's our subconscious that's driving our bus, and that's the part we're protesting against when we say that we can't help what we're thinking.
Our conscious mind is not in control, and of course the conscious mind really can't help what we're thinking on a deeper level - the level that really controls our lives.
Psychotherapy may be useful here, and it certainly is the mainstream approach to emotional problems. It tends to be very long term oriented and expensive, and while it is helpful for some people, the results are not as consistent or as deep as with some newer methods.
Sometimes enlightened pastoral counseling can be helpful as well. This is when you would go to your clergy for counseling. This can be useful especially if you suffer from the type of self-condemnation that came about in the first place because of religious teachings.
One of the classic newer ways to reprogram the subconscious is through the use of affirmations. The use of affirmations is an outgrowth of the New Thought movement. Affirmations consist of repeating positive phrases, or affirmations, such as "I truly love and appreciate myself" many times daily.
While that is a bit of an oversimplification, books like Louise Hay's "Heal Your Body" and "You Can Heal Your Life" are excellent in depth resources for this type of approach. There is also a new movie "You Can Heal Your Life" featuring Louise Hay herself and many other top teachers which would be a great place to start.
The most exciting new developments in this field, however, have come about through the use of "energy psychology." There are two basic forms of this, TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) and MTT (Meridian Tapping Therapies such as EFT and TFT). These techniques bypass the conscious mind by addressing the body's energy system, where negative emotions and programming are literally stored, or encoded.
Because these patterns can be released by actually removing them from the energy system, these techniques are much faster than traditional psychotherapy. And because they are so much faster, they tend to be far less expensive. The downside is that most insurance companies will not yet cover energy psychology, or energy medicine, while they usually will cover psychotherapy.
You don't have to be stuck with self-defeating thinking. Investigate some of the methods described above. See what feels like a good fit for you. If one method doesn't work, try another. What works for one person may not work for you. Don't give up, because there is hope. Yes, even for you!
