How to Expand Your Social Circle
Have you ever moved to a new city or town only to realize that you don't know a single person there. I have been here before and can personally attest that it sucks and can even be down right depressing. The good news is that there are some easy ways to make new friends and broaden your social circle.
First things first, you have got to understand that this process takes time and requires a patient attitude. Nobody become a superstar overnight. Don't expect things to be different for you.
Some peoples suggest going to as many different places as possible to meet women and make new friends. There is nothing wrong with checking out a variety of spots but it is better to pick a few favorites and frequent them rather than continually migrate from one spot to the next. For example, if you find a good coffeeshop that gets a lot of traffic and has a good vibe, make that your spot to get coffee every day (or however often you go out and buy coffee). The same can apply for bars and nightclubs. When you mark your territory, make a conscious effort to learn the employees names. It is polite, friendly and separates you from nearly every other busy person whose sole focus is on coffee, drinks, etc The interesting thing about names is that when you call a person by name and they don't remember yours, they will feel guilty. Generally, when this happens, they will say something like "what's your name again?" You tell them your name and kazaam, you are now on a name to name basis with the employees at your "hotspot." It's not rocket science, it's simple social savvy.
I love coffeeshops and espresso strands. They are great places to socialize and meet women. When you go to a coffeeshop or espresso stand, make a point to chat up the employees who work there. Tell them a quick little story about your day. If you have absolutely nothing to talk about personally, you can bring a situational anecdote that she can relate to. A good example would be something like " wow, you wouldn't believe how many sketchy individuals there were on the subway this morning. I almost had to bust out my jujitsu karate skills (smile jokingly)" It doesn't have to be novel. Just something that they will remember you by.
I've always found that a good host of a party has the highest value there. There is a major reason for this. This is especially the case when the party is filled is a group who, for the most part doesn't know each other. The host on the other hand is connected to everyone and is able introduce people and become somewhat of a "social lubricator." People love to meet new people. If you are constantly introducing people and creating new friendships, people will want to be around you. And when it comes time that you do decide to throw a party, people will be more apt to show up. One of the biggest problems of throwing a party is getting people to come. It sounds simple enough. But if the people you invite trust your ability to socially network, you can be damn sure they will show up.
Side note: Familiarity breeds comfort. I can remember one time I was in the food court of the mall (classy, I know) and I playfully teased this girl who was working at Cinnibon. The conversation lasted a whole 30 seconds and to be honest it was nothing special. But the next week at a downtown nightclub, guess who came up and sparked a conversation with me? Yes, it was her. And the night ended very well for the both of us. But it goes to show the power of familiarity. When you throw people in an environment where they don't know a majority of the people, they cling to the people they know. And sometimes, a little familiarity is all you need. I barely knew that girl at all but it was enough that she felt comfortable coming up and talking to me.
If not only for the reason to get exercise, a gym is a great place to meet people with a common interest. A lot of gyms provide fitness classes that are free or cost little money. It never hurts to hop in one these classes. There are generally more women than men and it provides a comfortable, no threatening environment to meet people.
If you look online, you can generally find a ton of sports teams who need extra players. If you don't have an athletic bone in your body, no problem. Join one of the less competitive or Co-ed leagues. It might run you 50 -100 bucks but it is good exercise and a great way to make new friends.
If you don't have much money it is perfectly fine to invite on the basis of BYOM (bring your own meat) and booze. Like I mentioned previously, if people trust your social ability, they will come.
It may sound ridiculous to do something that may be construed as work and not get paid for it but community events are great places to meet people. I had a friend meet his girlfriend at a "fun run for breast Cancer." There are always a variety of events going on that require volunteers. It forces you to be social, is often intrinsically rewarding and you will always meet new people. Most of these events are posted online or in local magazines.
Get involved with your local Lair
If you haven't already familiarized yourself with this "seduction" movement, know that there are support groups called lairs that get together and talk "pick up." Yes, it is a little silly and Fight Club- esque, but lairs are a great way to meet guys who share a common interest: women. If you town or city doesn't have a lair for meeting women, make one.
A great way to keep in touch with a lot of people at one is through group text messages. They don't have to be anything special. A simple "just a heads up, We'll be at the Standard tonight" will suffice. Don't go overboard here. Group texts are impersonal and become relatively meaningless if you send them all the time. So a rule of thumb, if you do send a lot of group texts, try to make them as personal (sounding) as possible.
A great way to keep in contact with people wherever they may live is through email. The great thing about email is that rarely will someone deny you their address. It is non threatening. They don't have to reply to your messages if they don't want to. And it's a great way to keep in contact. You also have the option of forwarding and sending messages you personally didn't write. I get funny emails forwarded to me all the time. And guess what? I forward them to my contact list as well. As a result, I am in contact with tons of people all over the world.
A socially savvy guy is an insider on the "where's" and "when's" of his city. Take a few minutes out of your day to see what events are taking place, who is throwing parties and where. Know what concerts are taking place and where the after parties are. When other realize you are a social insider, they will turn to you for where to go and when.
First things first, you have got to understand that this process takes time and requires a patient attitude. Nobody become a superstar overnight. Don't expect things to be different for you.
Some peoples suggest going to as many different places as possible to meet women and make new friends. There is nothing wrong with checking out a variety of spots but it is better to pick a few favorites and frequent them rather than continually migrate from one spot to the next. For example, if you find a good coffeeshop that gets a lot of traffic and has a good vibe, make that your spot to get coffee every day (or however often you go out and buy coffee). The same can apply for bars and nightclubs. When you mark your territory, make a conscious effort to learn the employees names. It is polite, friendly and separates you from nearly every other busy person whose sole focus is on coffee, drinks, etc The interesting thing about names is that when you call a person by name and they don't remember yours, they will feel guilty. Generally, when this happens, they will say something like "what's your name again?" You tell them your name and kazaam, you are now on a name to name basis with the employees at your "hotspot." It's not rocket science, it's simple social savvy.
I love coffeeshops and espresso strands. They are great places to socialize and meet women. When you go to a coffeeshop or espresso stand, make a point to chat up the employees who work there. Tell them a quick little story about your day. If you have absolutely nothing to talk about personally, you can bring a situational anecdote that she can relate to. A good example would be something like " wow, you wouldn't believe how many sketchy individuals there were on the subway this morning. I almost had to bust out my jujitsu karate skills (smile jokingly)" It doesn't have to be novel. Just something that they will remember you by.
I've always found that a good host of a party has the highest value there. There is a major reason for this. This is especially the case when the party is filled is a group who, for the most part doesn't know each other. The host on the other hand is connected to everyone and is able introduce people and become somewhat of a "social lubricator." People love to meet new people. If you are constantly introducing people and creating new friendships, people will want to be around you. And when it comes time that you do decide to throw a party, people will be more apt to show up. One of the biggest problems of throwing a party is getting people to come. It sounds simple enough. But if the people you invite trust your ability to socially network, you can be damn sure they will show up.
Side note: Familiarity breeds comfort. I can remember one time I was in the food court of the mall (classy, I know) and I playfully teased this girl who was working at Cinnibon. The conversation lasted a whole 30 seconds and to be honest it was nothing special. But the next week at a downtown nightclub, guess who came up and sparked a conversation with me? Yes, it was her. And the night ended very well for the both of us. But it goes to show the power of familiarity. When you throw people in an environment where they don't know a majority of the people, they cling to the people they know. And sometimes, a little familiarity is all you need. I barely knew that girl at all but it was enough that she felt comfortable coming up and talking to me.
If not only for the reason to get exercise, a gym is a great place to meet people with a common interest. A lot of gyms provide fitness classes that are free or cost little money. It never hurts to hop in one these classes. There are generally more women than men and it provides a comfortable, no threatening environment to meet people.
If you look online, you can generally find a ton of sports teams who need extra players. If you don't have an athletic bone in your body, no problem. Join one of the less competitive or Co-ed leagues. It might run you 50 -100 bucks but it is good exercise and a great way to make new friends.
If you don't have much money it is perfectly fine to invite on the basis of BYOM (bring your own meat) and booze. Like I mentioned previously, if people trust your social ability, they will come.
It may sound ridiculous to do something that may be construed as work and not get paid for it but community events are great places to meet people. I had a friend meet his girlfriend at a "fun run for breast Cancer." There are always a variety of events going on that require volunteers. It forces you to be social, is often intrinsically rewarding and you will always meet new people. Most of these events are posted online or in local magazines.
Get involved with your local Lair
If you haven't already familiarized yourself with this "seduction" movement, know that there are support groups called lairs that get together and talk "pick up." Yes, it is a little silly and Fight Club- esque, but lairs are a great way to meet guys who share a common interest: women. If you town or city doesn't have a lair for meeting women, make one.
A great way to keep in touch with a lot of people at one is through group text messages. They don't have to be anything special. A simple "just a heads up, We'll be at the Standard tonight" will suffice. Don't go overboard here. Group texts are impersonal and become relatively meaningless if you send them all the time. So a rule of thumb, if you do send a lot of group texts, try to make them as personal (sounding) as possible.
A great way to keep in contact with people wherever they may live is through email. The great thing about email is that rarely will someone deny you their address. It is non threatening. They don't have to reply to your messages if they don't want to. And it's a great way to keep in contact. You also have the option of forwarding and sending messages you personally didn't write. I get funny emails forwarded to me all the time. And guess what? I forward them to my contact list as well. As a result, I am in contact with tons of people all over the world.
A socially savvy guy is an insider on the "where's" and "when's" of his city. Take a few minutes out of your day to see what events are taking place, who is throwing parties and where. Know what concerts are taking place and where the after parties are. When other realize you are a social insider, they will turn to you for where to go and when.
