Separation and Divorce Advice
The reality of marriage finally hit me; happy endings do not exist and life is not a fairytale at all.
So I turned into a man-hater, for a loss of better words to describe how I turned down every admirer.
Then I turned my attention aside to the hobbies I passionately cared about; I was an independent woman, earning and spending for myself alone.
It was the life that I wanted.
Was it? No.
I grew needy somewhere in the middle of that life so I opened myself up to the possibilities of having relationships.
But the transition was slow, I still found men to be obnoxious and pathetic or scheming and evil.
It felt like there was no one who could change my opinion about them.
However, change came again in the form of a man who has turned my life full 360.
After being taken off in a whirlwind romance, we tied the knot, settled down, had a baby and we nodded our heads, thinking everything will be alright if not perfect.
The kid who used to dream about a happy marriage helped me accept the role of an absolute housewife.
I had to give up my more-than-satisfactorily paying job, I had to give up my passion in arts and music, my time with friends to become the woman who wore the apron and waited at home for the rest of the family to come home for dinner.
Now, that was change.
But then again, change continued to knock on the door.
I got tired of being patient, of having to wait and so was the "independent woman" I used to be.
She was thrashing inside my chest like it was a cage, wanting to get out of it.
It took some time, in fact longer before the marriage started to fall apart.
There wasn't really major fight or I wouldn't say our marriage was torn to pieces.
I didn't want to wait for that to happen so that's when I laid everything out on the table and told my husband how I felt choked up.
I told him that I was okay with the fact that he didn't want me to work outside of the house; it was okay that I limited my time with useless promenading in the mall to save money; I was okay with having to wait for everyone else after work and school - BUT NOT ALL THE TIME.
He told me that if it made me happier, he wasn't stopping me from working outside the house.
It was mostly dead-end talk so I decided that maybe we should separate.
It was little more than a shock to him as he saw me to be compliant most of the time and then to find me as a being that had her own mind and mouth really blew him away but he consented.
He said that perhaps we should "legally separate".
It was my time to be shocked because I often closely related Legal Separation with Divorce.
Legal Separation would end in Divorce.
He explained the advantages that I would be enjoying with the legal action.
He could see that I was eager to start a life of my own, a separate place, a new job and self-financing and he said that with Legal Separation I would be assured that it will stay as that.
He was simply considering my best interests and I have him to thank for suggesting Legal Separation.
We've been amicable since the settlement and I think with the relationship we have right now, it looks like Legal Separation is not going to end up in Divorce.
If you are in the verge of a situation like mine, always take the time.
Take the time to consider what you want out of the marriage, why you want out of the marriage, how you may want to get out of the marriage.
Marriage deserves more than just a second chance, it also deserves a time to breath.
So I turned into a man-hater, for a loss of better words to describe how I turned down every admirer.
Then I turned my attention aside to the hobbies I passionately cared about; I was an independent woman, earning and spending for myself alone.
It was the life that I wanted.
Was it? No.
I grew needy somewhere in the middle of that life so I opened myself up to the possibilities of having relationships.
But the transition was slow, I still found men to be obnoxious and pathetic or scheming and evil.
It felt like there was no one who could change my opinion about them.
However, change came again in the form of a man who has turned my life full 360.
After being taken off in a whirlwind romance, we tied the knot, settled down, had a baby and we nodded our heads, thinking everything will be alright if not perfect.
The kid who used to dream about a happy marriage helped me accept the role of an absolute housewife.
I had to give up my more-than-satisfactorily paying job, I had to give up my passion in arts and music, my time with friends to become the woman who wore the apron and waited at home for the rest of the family to come home for dinner.
Now, that was change.
But then again, change continued to knock on the door.
I got tired of being patient, of having to wait and so was the "independent woman" I used to be.
She was thrashing inside my chest like it was a cage, wanting to get out of it.
It took some time, in fact longer before the marriage started to fall apart.
There wasn't really major fight or I wouldn't say our marriage was torn to pieces.
I didn't want to wait for that to happen so that's when I laid everything out on the table and told my husband how I felt choked up.
I told him that I was okay with the fact that he didn't want me to work outside of the house; it was okay that I limited my time with useless promenading in the mall to save money; I was okay with having to wait for everyone else after work and school - BUT NOT ALL THE TIME.
He told me that if it made me happier, he wasn't stopping me from working outside the house.
It was mostly dead-end talk so I decided that maybe we should separate.
It was little more than a shock to him as he saw me to be compliant most of the time and then to find me as a being that had her own mind and mouth really blew him away but he consented.
He said that perhaps we should "legally separate".
It was my time to be shocked because I often closely related Legal Separation with Divorce.
Legal Separation would end in Divorce.
He explained the advantages that I would be enjoying with the legal action.
He could see that I was eager to start a life of my own, a separate place, a new job and self-financing and he said that with Legal Separation I would be assured that it will stay as that.
He was simply considering my best interests and I have him to thank for suggesting Legal Separation.
We've been amicable since the settlement and I think with the relationship we have right now, it looks like Legal Separation is not going to end up in Divorce.
If you are in the verge of a situation like mine, always take the time.
Take the time to consider what you want out of the marriage, why you want out of the marriage, how you may want to get out of the marriage.
Marriage deserves more than just a second chance, it also deserves a time to breath.
