Restoring Trust in Relationships - Getting Your Ex Back After the Affair
After you've cheated, how do you get your ex back? According to some people an affair will always end a relationship, but I don't agree.
If both parties really want to work at it every single relationship is savable in my opinion.
Restoring trust in relationships takes time but it's not impossible.
Restoring trust in relationships will require an adjustment in attitude and actions.
It is possible to save a relationship even after an affair.
To do this requires ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you were the one to stray it may have had something to do with problems in the relationship.
There may be wrong at the core of the relationship that is diseased, but you can heal this disease.
What caused you to have the affair? Was it the sex? Was she too busy for you?Had she let herself go? You probably would not have cheated if something was not wrong within the relationship.
So, what do you need to do to fix it? Sometimes this may lie in self analysis but just as often it lies in the couples relationship.
Restoring trust means you need to fix underlying issues in the relationship which may include going to couples counseling.
Just understanding what the problem isn't enough.
The next step is to take positive action to fix the problems.
As the saying goes talk is cheap.
Just talking about the right things will not fix the problems.
Instead, success will depend on doing the right things.
One of the easiest things you can do to restore trust in your relationship is to make small promises and then keep them.
For example, if you promise to take the trash out make sure you do it and do it consistently.
When you show that you can be trusted with small promises , a gradual sense of confidence will begin to build in your relationship again.
You are going to need to apologize more than once over time to make amends for you past actions.
Your girlfriend or wife will need constant reassurance that you have indeed changed.
Instead of becoming upset with the constant need for reassurance realize this is a consequence of violating your partners trust.
It is not easy for anyone to forgive such a breach.
If you want the relationship to work you'll be patient with her.
This, however, does not mean that you are required to feel guilty forever about your indiscretion.
It is important that she not use this to constantly bully or guilt trip you.
This will lead to an unhealthy relationship which is bound to fail.
Finally, try to put some type of positive spin on the incident.
Treat it as an opportunity to grow as an individual.
Just as a bone that has been broken grows stronger at the place of the break so can a relationship approve after an affair.
If both parties really want to work at it every single relationship is savable in my opinion.
Restoring trust in relationships takes time but it's not impossible.
Restoring trust in relationships will require an adjustment in attitude and actions.
It is possible to save a relationship even after an affair.
To do this requires ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you were the one to stray it may have had something to do with problems in the relationship.
There may be wrong at the core of the relationship that is diseased, but you can heal this disease.
What caused you to have the affair? Was it the sex? Was she too busy for you?Had she let herself go? You probably would not have cheated if something was not wrong within the relationship.
So, what do you need to do to fix it? Sometimes this may lie in self analysis but just as often it lies in the couples relationship.
Restoring trust means you need to fix underlying issues in the relationship which may include going to couples counseling.
Just understanding what the problem isn't enough.
The next step is to take positive action to fix the problems.
As the saying goes talk is cheap.
Just talking about the right things will not fix the problems.
Instead, success will depend on doing the right things.
One of the easiest things you can do to restore trust in your relationship is to make small promises and then keep them.
For example, if you promise to take the trash out make sure you do it and do it consistently.
When you show that you can be trusted with small promises , a gradual sense of confidence will begin to build in your relationship again.
You are going to need to apologize more than once over time to make amends for you past actions.
Your girlfriend or wife will need constant reassurance that you have indeed changed.
Instead of becoming upset with the constant need for reassurance realize this is a consequence of violating your partners trust.
It is not easy for anyone to forgive such a breach.
If you want the relationship to work you'll be patient with her.
This, however, does not mean that you are required to feel guilty forever about your indiscretion.
It is important that she not use this to constantly bully or guilt trip you.
This will lead to an unhealthy relationship which is bound to fail.
Finally, try to put some type of positive spin on the incident.
Treat it as an opportunity to grow as an individual.
Just as a bone that has been broken grows stronger at the place of the break so can a relationship approve after an affair.
