Four Areas Where You Can Be Sabotaging Your Marriage
You know a marriage is in trouble from its signs.
Signs like you're no longer talking to one another, no longer holding hands, every discussion or disagreement leads to a fight, taking your spouse for granted, not doing anything special for them anymore, letting other things come between you and your spouse, not doing things together, and the list goes on.
Identifying the problems is half the solution in identifying ways to save a marriage.
Begin with identifying your problem.
It could be one thing or a number of things together and it may take you a while to know exactly what the issues that are troubling your marriage are, but it is an exercise worth investing in.
Here is a list of common issues that couples may experience when there is a difficulty in the marriage: 1 - Communication breakdown.
Maintaining an open line of communication will form a strong bond between a couple, help clarify each other's points of view that may seem different to begin with, help them share their dreams and help them appreciate one another more.
A major element that must exist for any communication to be successful is respect.
When you respect your spouse, you become willing to hear out their argument and listen to what they really want to express.
One should find a way to constantly remind themselves of the love and respect they hold for one another even as a discussion is beginning to heat, with the above in mind, a spouse will be more able to lead the discussion to a calmer and more relaxed flow.
2 - Lack of romance.
Not holding hands anymore? No more hugs and kisses? Not much intimacy? All these are a sign that there is a severe shortage in romance.
The best way to re-introduce romance into a marriage that has suffered the lack of it, is to start slow and small, by introducing a weekly commitment to spending time with one another.
This can be watching a movie together, talking a walk, having dinner, anything you both somewhat enjoy, or even enjoy it knowing that your spouse enjoys it too.
3 - Taking your spouse for granted.
Which means: I don't have to look as good or take care for my appearance, or smell as good, or behave as well as I used to.
This seems to be the very trap that causes a marriage to fall apart.
There is definitely a sense of peace from being in a long term relationship where you can relax a little, but to completely take it for granted and go into auto pilot can be devastating.
The easier way to break this cycle is to come out of love with all your actions, as this eases the tension, instead of feeling stressed that you have to put up a front that is not really you.
4 - Letting other things come between you and your spouse.
This is where the real test manifests and either empowers the relationship or begins a cycle of resentment that can keep building until the problem is sorted out or your spouse is unable to deal with the resentment.
This could be your job, relatives or even your own children.
One important point that needs to be emphasized is that you can keep everything going as they are in your life, but ensure you spend a little time with your spouse on a daily basis, even for a small conversation over tea, and consider allocating a special time that is only for both of you.
Men with busy jobs are guilty of this as well as women with children.
At the end of the day, there is a definite advantage in saving your marriage for the very basic reason of proving to yourself that you can do it.
You should also know that there is always a way and you should never quit and always look into what you are doing, because if it is working, then keep doing it and if it isn't working, you will need to stop and find a different way.
You can prove to yourself that it is achievable and you will only know that for sure if you are persistent.
Signs like you're no longer talking to one another, no longer holding hands, every discussion or disagreement leads to a fight, taking your spouse for granted, not doing anything special for them anymore, letting other things come between you and your spouse, not doing things together, and the list goes on.
Identifying the problems is half the solution in identifying ways to save a marriage.
Begin with identifying your problem.
It could be one thing or a number of things together and it may take you a while to know exactly what the issues that are troubling your marriage are, but it is an exercise worth investing in.
Here is a list of common issues that couples may experience when there is a difficulty in the marriage: 1 - Communication breakdown.
Maintaining an open line of communication will form a strong bond between a couple, help clarify each other's points of view that may seem different to begin with, help them share their dreams and help them appreciate one another more.
A major element that must exist for any communication to be successful is respect.
When you respect your spouse, you become willing to hear out their argument and listen to what they really want to express.
One should find a way to constantly remind themselves of the love and respect they hold for one another even as a discussion is beginning to heat, with the above in mind, a spouse will be more able to lead the discussion to a calmer and more relaxed flow.
2 - Lack of romance.
Not holding hands anymore? No more hugs and kisses? Not much intimacy? All these are a sign that there is a severe shortage in romance.
The best way to re-introduce romance into a marriage that has suffered the lack of it, is to start slow and small, by introducing a weekly commitment to spending time with one another.
This can be watching a movie together, talking a walk, having dinner, anything you both somewhat enjoy, or even enjoy it knowing that your spouse enjoys it too.
3 - Taking your spouse for granted.
Which means: I don't have to look as good or take care for my appearance, or smell as good, or behave as well as I used to.
This seems to be the very trap that causes a marriage to fall apart.
There is definitely a sense of peace from being in a long term relationship where you can relax a little, but to completely take it for granted and go into auto pilot can be devastating.
The easier way to break this cycle is to come out of love with all your actions, as this eases the tension, instead of feeling stressed that you have to put up a front that is not really you.
4 - Letting other things come between you and your spouse.
This is where the real test manifests and either empowers the relationship or begins a cycle of resentment that can keep building until the problem is sorted out or your spouse is unable to deal with the resentment.
This could be your job, relatives or even your own children.
One important point that needs to be emphasized is that you can keep everything going as they are in your life, but ensure you spend a little time with your spouse on a daily basis, even for a small conversation over tea, and consider allocating a special time that is only for both of you.
Men with busy jobs are guilty of this as well as women with children.
At the end of the day, there is a definite advantage in saving your marriage for the very basic reason of proving to yourself that you can do it.
You should also know that there is always a way and you should never quit and always look into what you are doing, because if it is working, then keep doing it and if it isn't working, you will need to stop and find a different way.
You can prove to yourself that it is achievable and you will only know that for sure if you are persistent.
