I Don't Really Like My Wife – Help for Husbands Feeling This Way
"I don't really like my wife." You've said it to yourself and maybe you've even expressed it aloud to someone close to you. It's a horrible feeling, isn't it? Coming to the realization that you don't really like the woman you're married to. She's obviously changed since the two of you shared your wedding vows. It's left you in a very difficult position. Many men feel exactly the same way you do. Deep down they love their wife but as a person they don't like her anymore. You can work on changing that so your marriage has a chance to thrive again and you can feel closer to her the way you did back in the early days of your relationship.
It's really unfortunate that we all can't see into the future before we get married. Obviously, your wife isn't the same person now as she was back then. Life has a way of making a perfectly happy person into a cynical and jaded one. Perhaps your wife feels as though her life hasn't gone the way she wanted it to and she blames you for that. Maybe she feels overwhelmed with all she has to deal with and you, in turn, are expected to bear the brunt of her moodiness. Regardless of what is driving her behavior now, you're the person suffering for it. That obviously has to change.
Take some time and think about what you don't like about your wife. Consider the specifics. Does she say things that are hurtful to you or others? Has she been neglecting you or the children by not tending to your needs? Is she suddenly acting selfish or uncaring? Once you can pinpoint what exactly you find unappealing you can move forward with trying to fix it.
You have to talk to your wife about this. You do need to do it in a very specific way though. Approaching her with an agenda that includes pointing out all the things you don't like about her, isn't going to be helpful to anyone. Instead, you need to draw her out of her shell. You have to get her to feel comfortable enough to want to talk to you about what she's feeling and what has changed her.
It's important that you make it very clear to her that you care for her and want your marriage to survive. Tell her that you're hurt by her behavior and that you're worried about her. Sometimes, a wife will build a wall around herself because she feels too vulnerable. If she feels her husband hasn't been addressing her needs, she may actually start treating him poorly as a result.
This is an issue that you need to work together on. It can be the perfect opportunity to open the lines of communication again so the two of you feel stronger and more connected.
It's really unfortunate that we all can't see into the future before we get married. Obviously, your wife isn't the same person now as she was back then. Life has a way of making a perfectly happy person into a cynical and jaded one. Perhaps your wife feels as though her life hasn't gone the way she wanted it to and she blames you for that. Maybe she feels overwhelmed with all she has to deal with and you, in turn, are expected to bear the brunt of her moodiness. Regardless of what is driving her behavior now, you're the person suffering for it. That obviously has to change.
Take some time and think about what you don't like about your wife. Consider the specifics. Does she say things that are hurtful to you or others? Has she been neglecting you or the children by not tending to your needs? Is she suddenly acting selfish or uncaring? Once you can pinpoint what exactly you find unappealing you can move forward with trying to fix it.
You have to talk to your wife about this. You do need to do it in a very specific way though. Approaching her with an agenda that includes pointing out all the things you don't like about her, isn't going to be helpful to anyone. Instead, you need to draw her out of her shell. You have to get her to feel comfortable enough to want to talk to you about what she's feeling and what has changed her.
It's important that you make it very clear to her that you care for her and want your marriage to survive. Tell her that you're hurt by her behavior and that you're worried about her. Sometimes, a wife will build a wall around herself because she feels too vulnerable. If she feels her husband hasn't been addressing her needs, she may actually start treating him poorly as a result.
This is an issue that you need to work together on. It can be the perfect opportunity to open the lines of communication again so the two of you feel stronger and more connected.
