Why Is Being Grateful Considered Such a Good Thing?
Often, when people seem a bit down or a bit depressed or a bit out of sorts, the advice that is given, sometimes very directly is that the person should be a bit more grateful for their situation.
The old adage 'count your blessings' is a form of this advice, and for many people is a mixed blessing in itself.
The idea of forcing oneself to be grateful can work at two very different levels for most individuals.
The plus side of this advice, is that it gets the individual to start looking at the things that are going for them in their life, rather than looking at the things that are not going for them or are very definitely going against them.
There is some real value in this, as epitomised in what has become a real cliché of the glass being either or half full or half empty.
The real value in this approach, is that it gets the individual to re-evaluate their way of thinking, and to consciously think about their present situation, with a view to focusing on the positive rather than the negative.
The ability to refocus once thinking is in many ways a very simple one, and one that virtually all people possess.
The difficulty in doing it, is much more to do with willingness, as well as a fear of the unknown and a fear of letting go of something that feels very comfortable.
The real downside to the idea of forcing oneself to be grateful, is that it is in some way often seen as a conscious attempt to tell yourself how you should feel, rather than how you do feel.
There is some validity in this, as there is much value in acknowledging the reality of how an individual feels that is unconditional.
It is in one's feelings, that an individual learns much about themselves and their view of the world, both the outer world and more importantly their inner world.
There is a saying in the recovery world, that a grateful alcoholic never drinks, and whilst this should not be taken literally and is not a complete truth, there is a distinct philosophy that underlies such a saying.
The philosophy is that if an alcoholic in sobriety can be grateful or learn to be grateful, they are unlikely to pick up a drink.
The truth of this is very difficult to gauge, but it does reinforce the belief outlined above, that it is a good thing to feel grateful, and equally a bad thing to feel ungrateful.
This poses a potential real problem, mainly in the sense of identifying certain feelings as being good and other feelings as being bad.
The judgement of feelings, either in oneself or in another individual is an incredibly dangerous thing to do.
The nature of any feelings that they are a valuable source of information to oneself about what is going on internally.
Only when an individual has that information can they evaluate what the source of their feelings are, whether they are adult or inner child and what they are telling the individual about themselves.
Where there is a sense of judgement about whether an individual should have such feelings are not, and this is especially true for people who are alcoholics and addicts, then the individual concerned is more likely to deny those feelings as a form of self defence or a protective mechanism.
The individual will still continue to have those feelings but will be in denial of them.
Whilst difficult to generalise, any individual, especially alcoholics and addicts, need to have the freedom to be authentic and find their own true self, in order to be free to change it.
The old adage 'count your blessings' is a form of this advice, and for many people is a mixed blessing in itself.
The idea of forcing oneself to be grateful can work at two very different levels for most individuals.
The plus side of this advice, is that it gets the individual to start looking at the things that are going for them in their life, rather than looking at the things that are not going for them or are very definitely going against them.
There is some real value in this, as epitomised in what has become a real cliché of the glass being either or half full or half empty.
The real value in this approach, is that it gets the individual to re-evaluate their way of thinking, and to consciously think about their present situation, with a view to focusing on the positive rather than the negative.
The ability to refocus once thinking is in many ways a very simple one, and one that virtually all people possess.
The difficulty in doing it, is much more to do with willingness, as well as a fear of the unknown and a fear of letting go of something that feels very comfortable.
The real downside to the idea of forcing oneself to be grateful, is that it is in some way often seen as a conscious attempt to tell yourself how you should feel, rather than how you do feel.
There is some validity in this, as there is much value in acknowledging the reality of how an individual feels that is unconditional.
It is in one's feelings, that an individual learns much about themselves and their view of the world, both the outer world and more importantly their inner world.
There is a saying in the recovery world, that a grateful alcoholic never drinks, and whilst this should not be taken literally and is not a complete truth, there is a distinct philosophy that underlies such a saying.
The philosophy is that if an alcoholic in sobriety can be grateful or learn to be grateful, they are unlikely to pick up a drink.
The truth of this is very difficult to gauge, but it does reinforce the belief outlined above, that it is a good thing to feel grateful, and equally a bad thing to feel ungrateful.
This poses a potential real problem, mainly in the sense of identifying certain feelings as being good and other feelings as being bad.
The judgement of feelings, either in oneself or in another individual is an incredibly dangerous thing to do.
The nature of any feelings that they are a valuable source of information to oneself about what is going on internally.
Only when an individual has that information can they evaluate what the source of their feelings are, whether they are adult or inner child and what they are telling the individual about themselves.
Where there is a sense of judgement about whether an individual should have such feelings are not, and this is especially true for people who are alcoholics and addicts, then the individual concerned is more likely to deny those feelings as a form of self defence or a protective mechanism.
The individual will still continue to have those feelings but will be in denial of them.
Whilst difficult to generalise, any individual, especially alcoholics and addicts, need to have the freedom to be authentic and find their own true self, in order to be free to change it.
