Divorce & Children's Social Development
- The negative social effects on children generally begin when the divorce process begins, according to a 2011 study in the "American Sociological Review." Sadness, loneliness, anxiety, behavior problems and diminished self-esteem are likely to accompany the divorce progress. The children in the study were found to have fallen behind classmates from intact families in math and interpersonal social skills. The study found that negative effects of marital conflicts were not as apparent before the divorce as they were once divorce proceedings started. When the divorce was finalized, the problems did not get worse or better. There are numerous causes of the problems. If the custodial parent relocates, the child's familiar surroundings are disconnected. The custodial parent may also experience a loss of income that creates new burdens on the family. Preoccupation with the marital conflicts may distract a child from paying attention in school. If children fall behind academically and socially during the progress of a divorce, they may not be able to catch up. The problems spiral, leading to loss of motivation and further loss of self-esteem.
- The fact that children are often the subjects of divorce-related issues could contribute to the anxiety the children experience. Arguments about child custody and support as well as disruptive visitation schedules may be the source of guilt feelings, confusion and depression. Young children, especially, may internalize feelings of guilt, thinking that they somehow caused the parental rift.
- Children may become withdrawn and have trouble making friends.Digital Vision/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Socially, the children of divorcing parents are likely to act out by becoming more aggressive. They may have difficulty making and keeping friends. Teenage and adult children of divorce may engage in inappropriate or promiscuous sexual activity and may fall into delinquent behavior. As adults, they may have difficulty engaging in lasting relationships with the opposite sex, even though the divorce occurred many years earlier. - Because of their lack of other contacts, younger children may show the most obvious negative effects of divorce, while older children have school, activities and friends to take their minds off the home situation. Young children may also have difficulty verbalizing their distress.
- Boys react differently from girls. They might withdraw from friends and activities or get into physical fights, while girls may show their distress in other ways, such as bullying classmates and losing interest in activities. While boys are more likely to act out during and immediately after the divorce, girls may keep their feelings inside, only to have them erupt later on, when fears of abandonment and betrayal make it difficult for them to form lasting relationships.
Women, in particular, may have difficulty relating to men if they were deprived of steady contact with a loving father figure when they were young. Without an ongoing presence of a caring male figure, a girl may have difficulty developing a sense of her value as a female. - Negative effects of divorce can be lessened and even overcome if the custodial parent has good parenting skills, if the non-custodial parent is a positive influence in the child's life, and if other factors -- such as peer connections, economic stability and community support -- are positive.
