How to Get Back With an Ex - 4 Mistakes People Make, and How You Can Keep Yourself From Blowing It!
It can be tough to know how to get back with an ex.
There are a few people who do have some really good advice on how to do this.
But you should also listen to people like me, who've learned form experience what NOT to do.
Here are a few things I wish I didn't know.
Don't try and convince your ex that you're the love of his/her life.
The time right after you've been dumped is NOT the time to try and change your ex's mind! When you try and change their mind from one thing to another, you might as well come out and say, "I am right and you are wrong.
Why don't you think my way instead!" Do you think that the person who just broke up with you is going to listen to you tell them how wrong they are? Not likely.
You'll make a lot more progress if you focus on something you both agree on.
Fighting--or at least disagreeing--is likely what got you here in the first place.
But finding common ground is the first step in the mending process.
Trying to get them to see how "wrong" they are is like trying to beat down a stone door.
Why bruise your firsts when you have the magic key--something you both AGREE on! (The same goes for trying to convince your ex of anything else that they don't already believe.
Right now just isn't the time for it!) Don't guilt-trip or accuse.
It's even worse than guilt-tripping.
Unless your ex really gets off on being accused, this kind of behavior will just drive them away, instead of bring them nearer.
In fact, guilt-tripping and pointing a finger at your ex is one of the best ways to drive them even further away! Don't act like you are blameless.
You're probably not--and that's a good thing! Why? Because the only person's actions you can change, are your own.
So be glad that something is your fault, because that means it's something you can fix! This doesn't mean you should take responsibility for things that aren't your fault, just to look like you're being reasonable.
Stand your ground when you believe you've done no wrong.
Just make sure you take a good look at yourself and see where you might have messed up, then do what you can to set things straight.
Don't beg your ex to take you back.
If you're a man, this just plain is not going to work.
Probably not for the short term, and definitely not for the long term.
At best, you'll get to spend time around your ex while she takes all kinds of advantage of you! Unlike with men, women can sometimes get way with this behavior without it ruining a former mate's opinion of them.
Still, it's not exactly an empowering position to be in.
But it tends to put them in a bad position all the same, and it's not exactly empowering.
Begging isn't a good strategy to get anything done, so why would you use it to get back with an ex? Answer: you shouldn't.
If you can recognize when you're making these mistakes, and do something to correct them, you'll be a lot more likely to get an ex back than if you just stumble blindly through the process.
Good luck!
There are a few people who do have some really good advice on how to do this.
But you should also listen to people like me, who've learned form experience what NOT to do.
Here are a few things I wish I didn't know.
Don't try and convince your ex that you're the love of his/her life.
The time right after you've been dumped is NOT the time to try and change your ex's mind! When you try and change their mind from one thing to another, you might as well come out and say, "I am right and you are wrong.
Why don't you think my way instead!" Do you think that the person who just broke up with you is going to listen to you tell them how wrong they are? Not likely.
You'll make a lot more progress if you focus on something you both agree on.
Fighting--or at least disagreeing--is likely what got you here in the first place.
But finding common ground is the first step in the mending process.
Trying to get them to see how "wrong" they are is like trying to beat down a stone door.
Why bruise your firsts when you have the magic key--something you both AGREE on! (The same goes for trying to convince your ex of anything else that they don't already believe.
Right now just isn't the time for it!) Don't guilt-trip or accuse.
It's even worse than guilt-tripping.
Unless your ex really gets off on being accused, this kind of behavior will just drive them away, instead of bring them nearer.
In fact, guilt-tripping and pointing a finger at your ex is one of the best ways to drive them even further away! Don't act like you are blameless.
You're probably not--and that's a good thing! Why? Because the only person's actions you can change, are your own.
So be glad that something is your fault, because that means it's something you can fix! This doesn't mean you should take responsibility for things that aren't your fault, just to look like you're being reasonable.
Stand your ground when you believe you've done no wrong.
Just make sure you take a good look at yourself and see where you might have messed up, then do what you can to set things straight.
Don't beg your ex to take you back.
If you're a man, this just plain is not going to work.
Probably not for the short term, and definitely not for the long term.
At best, you'll get to spend time around your ex while she takes all kinds of advantage of you! Unlike with men, women can sometimes get way with this behavior without it ruining a former mate's opinion of them.
Still, it's not exactly an empowering position to be in.
But it tends to put them in a bad position all the same, and it's not exactly empowering.
Begging isn't a good strategy to get anything done, so why would you use it to get back with an ex? Answer: you shouldn't.
If you can recognize when you're making these mistakes, and do something to correct them, you'll be a lot more likely to get an ex back than if you just stumble blindly through the process.
Good luck!
