4 Conversation Tips For Guys on a Date
We've probably all been there before; on a date for the first time (or one of the early dates), and the conversation just seems to come to a screeching halt.
Actually, not even a screeching halt, because at least then there would be some kind of noise...
Rather, the conversation just hits that completely awkward silence when you have no idea what to say or where to take the chat next.
And if you've never been in this situation, then YOU should be writing some recommendations for the vast majority of the rest of us who have all had this uncomfortable, uneasy experience.
In any case, there are a few things that you should keep in mind that should help you avoid this in the future, or at the very least, help you minimize them and give you some tools to get out of them a bit more quickly.
The first thing that is highly recommended is that if or when you hit that moment of silence, sometimes it's OK to just let it be silent for a while.
Not too long, but you shouldn't feel like you need to be putting on a show all the time.
Pauses in conversation are normal and you can take the opportunity to take in your surroundings a bit and perhaps comment on something interesting that you would otherwise not have had the opportunity to notice.
You can even comment on the fact that it's nice to NOT have to feel like you need to talk all the time, and that you appreciate being comfortable enough with each other that this is possible (only if this is true, of course.
You never want to lie just for the sake of saying something.
Definitely NOT the way to get a potential relationship going).
Along the lines of commenting on the ability to appreciate a lull in the conversation, you can compliment her on something else, too.
Make it genuine; something that you really do like, appreciate or find attractive about her (without being crude).
Perhaps the silence is because she is somewhat shy.
When you think about it, shyness is really just a fear that others may not like you or accept you for the way you are.
Picking something out to compliment her on will help build her confidence, making her feel like you really do see her and like her for who she is.
It may not create a sudden flow of conversation, but it will begin to lay the groundwork for more and better conversations to come.
You should also ask her questions to show that you are interested in her.
This is good to keep in mind because when people are nervous or looking for something to talk about during these awkward moments of silence, the tendency is often to talk about oneself.
Be careful not to focus so much on you, you, you that you become a bore.
Instead, ask polite, probing questions about her, and make them open ended questions.
In other words, not questions that can easily be answered with a yes or no like, "Do you like this music?" Instead, ask something like, "What kind of music do you like to listen to?" Other tips to help with these kinds of questions are to remember the "W"s; What, When, Where, Why and How (OK, so the last one isn't a "W"...
give me a little slack!) Some example questions could be, "What is your favorite kind of food?", "When did you decide to pursue your major or line of work?", "Where have you lived, other than here?", "Why did you move here from your previous home?", "How much money do you make?"...
OK, OK, don't ask that last one! I was just checking to see if you were still paying attention.
Hopefully you get the idea on the kinds of questions you could ask to help the conversation along.
Probably the most critical point you should take away from this is the following three part tip: Listen, listen, listen! If you have any desire to have future dates or a possible relationship with this woman, listen to what she tells you.
Even if it's stuff that you don't particularly care about like her favorite TV show (which just happens to be your LEAST favorite), listen to what she likes about it.
If you can work that back into the conversation later in the evening or on a subsequent date, you will score yourself some BIG points! Keep these basic conversational tips in mind and not only should you be able to avoid the dreaded awkward silence situation, but you should be able to generate some good, interesting conversation that will allow you to learn more about each other and find out if this is a relationship that is well suited to continue on further.
Good luck!
Actually, not even a screeching halt, because at least then there would be some kind of noise...
Rather, the conversation just hits that completely awkward silence when you have no idea what to say or where to take the chat next.
And if you've never been in this situation, then YOU should be writing some recommendations for the vast majority of the rest of us who have all had this uncomfortable, uneasy experience.
In any case, there are a few things that you should keep in mind that should help you avoid this in the future, or at the very least, help you minimize them and give you some tools to get out of them a bit more quickly.
The first thing that is highly recommended is that if or when you hit that moment of silence, sometimes it's OK to just let it be silent for a while.
Not too long, but you shouldn't feel like you need to be putting on a show all the time.
Pauses in conversation are normal and you can take the opportunity to take in your surroundings a bit and perhaps comment on something interesting that you would otherwise not have had the opportunity to notice.
You can even comment on the fact that it's nice to NOT have to feel like you need to talk all the time, and that you appreciate being comfortable enough with each other that this is possible (only if this is true, of course.
You never want to lie just for the sake of saying something.
Definitely NOT the way to get a potential relationship going).
Along the lines of commenting on the ability to appreciate a lull in the conversation, you can compliment her on something else, too.
Make it genuine; something that you really do like, appreciate or find attractive about her (without being crude).
Perhaps the silence is because she is somewhat shy.
When you think about it, shyness is really just a fear that others may not like you or accept you for the way you are.
Picking something out to compliment her on will help build her confidence, making her feel like you really do see her and like her for who she is.
It may not create a sudden flow of conversation, but it will begin to lay the groundwork for more and better conversations to come.
You should also ask her questions to show that you are interested in her.
This is good to keep in mind because when people are nervous or looking for something to talk about during these awkward moments of silence, the tendency is often to talk about oneself.
Be careful not to focus so much on you, you, you that you become a bore.
Instead, ask polite, probing questions about her, and make them open ended questions.
In other words, not questions that can easily be answered with a yes or no like, "Do you like this music?" Instead, ask something like, "What kind of music do you like to listen to?" Other tips to help with these kinds of questions are to remember the "W"s; What, When, Where, Why and How (OK, so the last one isn't a "W"...
give me a little slack!) Some example questions could be, "What is your favorite kind of food?", "When did you decide to pursue your major or line of work?", "Where have you lived, other than here?", "Why did you move here from your previous home?", "How much money do you make?"...
OK, OK, don't ask that last one! I was just checking to see if you were still paying attention.
Hopefully you get the idea on the kinds of questions you could ask to help the conversation along.
Probably the most critical point you should take away from this is the following three part tip: Listen, listen, listen! If you have any desire to have future dates or a possible relationship with this woman, listen to what she tells you.
Even if it's stuff that you don't particularly care about like her favorite TV show (which just happens to be your LEAST favorite), listen to what she likes about it.
If you can work that back into the conversation later in the evening or on a subsequent date, you will score yourself some BIG points! Keep these basic conversational tips in mind and not only should you be able to avoid the dreaded awkward silence situation, but you should be able to generate some good, interesting conversation that will allow you to learn more about each other and find out if this is a relationship that is well suited to continue on further.
Good luck!
