Rebellious Teens in Crisis: Remain Calm, Seek the Lord and Control Your Temper With Your Prodigal
"Your word is like a lamp that guides my steps,a light that shows the path I should take.
" Psalm 119:105 I spent too many years of my life basing my decisions on well-meaning advice from friends, a recommendation from a doctor or some shred of hope I had found on the internet.
If a friend's friend had tried something that had worked with their rebellious prodigal...
Or a cousin had read a book that helped her family, I followed suit and experienced a mixed-bag of results.
During the worst years, I enrolled my daughter in several different schools, tried countless new approaches, several medications and a handful of therapists.
I have no idea if anything was in God's will because I never stopped long enough to ask.
The few times I did ask, I certainly didn't wait for His reply.
During those dark years, I wonder if I did much of anything that God was calling me to do.
God brought a funny story to my mind that illustrates to me the importance of 'making decisions in the light.
' When my daughter was 4, we drove eight hours to visit my grandma.
By the time we arrived, it was late and we were all a bit grumpy.
My child had been suffering a form of 'diaper rash' and the hot, long ride in an ill-fitting seat hadn't done her any favors.
Sometime after tucking her into bed, she called out in discomfort.
Luckily, I had packed some zinc oxide and found it quickly as I rooted through my bag in the dark.
I applied it liberally to the painful areas, kissed her forehead and left the room.
Several minutes later, we were startled by a blood curdling scream.
What in the world? I rushed into her room and found her stripping off her clothing in absolute fury.
Whatever had happened, she was in real pain.
Then I noticed, on the nightstand beside the bed where I had put it after use...
a tube of Crest Toothpaste.
In the dark, in my haste, I mistakenly applied toothpaste instead of diaper rash ointment.
Oh, if only I had turned on the light! It took a warm bath, lots of soap and the correct product to undo all the harm I had done in my rush to fix the problem.
If I had slowed down just a little, turned on the light and calmly worked through the problem, I could have saved both of us a lot of heartache.
I wonder, in the crisis of the moment, when it seems the world is closing in on us, when our prodigal has yanked the rug out from under us, how often we just react to the fear and anxiousness that wells up within us.
Being slow to react, with a calm mind and an open spirit is wise instruction for us all.
When I finally slowed down enough to ask the Lord to train me in this, He did (although I am still a work in progress).
He will train you too if only you will ask.
Proverbs 14:17 tells us that "A quick-tempered man does foolish things".
Once we allow the Lord to tame our tempers (and thus our immediate reaction), God gives us further instruction in James 1:19-21.
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you".
As difficult as it can be, we must let the storm calm, and emotions subside so we can hear the Holy Spirit reveal His direction during a crisis.
Once we set a course into motion, if it isn't the direction of the Holy Spirit, we can do more harm than good.
There is only One who knows what our child needs, as well as what we need, and we must become 'listeners of God".
When we learn to listen and obey, we will be blessed by peace; even amidst great tribulation.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
" Philippians 4:6 Prayer: Lord Jesus, I ask You to calm my spirit to rest in You when difficulties arise in my life.
Help me Lord to wait on you before rushing ahead with my plan.
Father, please remind me to take time to talk with You and to quiet myself so I may hear Your still soft voice.
In Your name I pray, Amen.
" Psalm 119:105 I spent too many years of my life basing my decisions on well-meaning advice from friends, a recommendation from a doctor or some shred of hope I had found on the internet.
If a friend's friend had tried something that had worked with their rebellious prodigal...
Or a cousin had read a book that helped her family, I followed suit and experienced a mixed-bag of results.
During the worst years, I enrolled my daughter in several different schools, tried countless new approaches, several medications and a handful of therapists.
I have no idea if anything was in God's will because I never stopped long enough to ask.
The few times I did ask, I certainly didn't wait for His reply.
During those dark years, I wonder if I did much of anything that God was calling me to do.
God brought a funny story to my mind that illustrates to me the importance of 'making decisions in the light.
' When my daughter was 4, we drove eight hours to visit my grandma.
By the time we arrived, it was late and we were all a bit grumpy.
My child had been suffering a form of 'diaper rash' and the hot, long ride in an ill-fitting seat hadn't done her any favors.
Sometime after tucking her into bed, she called out in discomfort.
Luckily, I had packed some zinc oxide and found it quickly as I rooted through my bag in the dark.
I applied it liberally to the painful areas, kissed her forehead and left the room.
Several minutes later, we were startled by a blood curdling scream.
What in the world? I rushed into her room and found her stripping off her clothing in absolute fury.
Whatever had happened, she was in real pain.
Then I noticed, on the nightstand beside the bed where I had put it after use...
a tube of Crest Toothpaste.
In the dark, in my haste, I mistakenly applied toothpaste instead of diaper rash ointment.
Oh, if only I had turned on the light! It took a warm bath, lots of soap and the correct product to undo all the harm I had done in my rush to fix the problem.
If I had slowed down just a little, turned on the light and calmly worked through the problem, I could have saved both of us a lot of heartache.
I wonder, in the crisis of the moment, when it seems the world is closing in on us, when our prodigal has yanked the rug out from under us, how often we just react to the fear and anxiousness that wells up within us.
Being slow to react, with a calm mind and an open spirit is wise instruction for us all.
When I finally slowed down enough to ask the Lord to train me in this, He did (although I am still a work in progress).
He will train you too if only you will ask.
Proverbs 14:17 tells us that "A quick-tempered man does foolish things".
Once we allow the Lord to tame our tempers (and thus our immediate reaction), God gives us further instruction in James 1:19-21.
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you".
As difficult as it can be, we must let the storm calm, and emotions subside so we can hear the Holy Spirit reveal His direction during a crisis.
Once we set a course into motion, if it isn't the direction of the Holy Spirit, we can do more harm than good.
There is only One who knows what our child needs, as well as what we need, and we must become 'listeners of God".
When we learn to listen and obey, we will be blessed by peace; even amidst great tribulation.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
" Philippians 4:6 Prayer: Lord Jesus, I ask You to calm my spirit to rest in You when difficulties arise in my life.
Help me Lord to wait on you before rushing ahead with my plan.
Father, please remind me to take time to talk with You and to quiet myself so I may hear Your still soft voice.
In Your name I pray, Amen.
