Who else is having trouble writing an introductory email for an online dating site or service? If you are anything like I was when I first got started dating online..
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writing that first email is actually a pretty intimidating process! Why? Because for many of us, knowing how to communicate how we are feeling in print (or pixel) is NOT an easy proposition at all..
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and considering this is your ONLY opportunity to make a good first impression, you can't afford to mess it up! What I've learned about writing online dating emails that work, is..
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Be personal! First and foremost.
There is NOTHING worse, or more wasteful than sending the same boilerplate email to a whole bunch of people, really saying the same thing to all.
Why? Because while you may think that you are fooling them...
the simple truth is, if they've been on for a while, they've already gotten something VERY similar from someone else.
(and have been equally as unimpressed) Remember, many women get hundreds of emails a week on these sites, and a significant percentage of men will often send ONE message to many profiles.
(in other words...
the chances are, a generic message is going to look generic, even before she finishes reading the first line) To alleviate this..
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Simple personalize the subject line! Very easy.
Use the person's profile name in the subject line, AND again in the first sentence.
This immediately puts them into a mind frame that you are SINCERELY interested, and not simply trying to play the numbers game to get some easy dates! And don't forget to..
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Be FUNNY! I don't care if you are serious in real life..
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being funny online is a great way to stand out.
Laugh at yourself, first.
Everyone feels a bit more comfortable with someone who can laugh at themselves..
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and if you show you can, it radiates humility, sensitivity and smarts to boot! Flattery WILL get you everywhere! Be flattering, but NOT cheesy! Don't overdo it...
and keep it friendly and not overly flirtatious until you've established some interest.
And lastly..
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keep it short! Honestly? It's a bit disconcerting to get a really long, detailed email from someone you don't yet know.
Be short - be sweet and be complimentary.
That's all you really NEED to do to let them know you are interested.
Remember..
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if they don't write back, it's NOT a bad idea to send another message later, and if you keep it short and sweet, you aren't breaking any "rules" to follow up with a second.
(whereas starting with one super long one..
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sort of can make a follow up creepy if you DON'T get the response you want!)