Hints and Tips If You Plan to Remarry Your Ex
When I think about people who remarry their ex-spouse, one of my favourite movies when I was a child comes to mind, €The Parent Trap€. Hayley Mills stars as twin girls who meet for the first time at camp and collaborate to bring their parents back together. They are sure that all they have to do is get them in the same room, sparks will fly, and they will all live happily-ever-after. Fun ensues as the girls plan and plot for their clueless parents into meeting again.
Sparks do fly, first of antagonism, then of yearning, and finally of love. As expected, the movie ends with a lovely wedding, and the audience is left to assume that Mum and Dad did indeed find eternal bliss with each other, thanks to the twins.
The movie has become a timeless classic because it hits into the understanding that every single child of divorced parents silently yearns for their father and mother to get back in each other's arms again. Oftentimes, when kids are involved, the decision to remarry or even date your ex-spouse is one that must be well-thought-out very carefully. Researches show that over 65% of marriages between ex-spouses tend to end up in divorce, again. Perhaps the most famous couple who springs to mind is Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. However then a study of Elizabeth Taylor's need to keep marrying and then divorcing almost as quickly, is a subject for another article.
Back to remarrying your ex; if this applies to you, or you know someone who is considering this, here are 5 things to think about:
€ First of all, truly and honestly find out what went wrong in the first place. What was the major cause of your split-up? Does that problem still exist? Can you both acknowledge to the other your share in the marriage failing. These things are never one-sided; it's time for both of you to take your part of the responsibility.
€ The second point is you need to recognise why you want to get back together. Deep down are you doing this to make your kids happy, are you lonely and enjoying the familiarity, or are you having a hard time coping on your own? If the answer isn't because you realise you deeply love each other but just didn't try hard enough before separating to sort things out to resolve the conflict, you may find the major issues begin to surface again once the 'honeymoon' period is over.
€ It would do both of you good if you spend some time together away from the children. Do not let them in on your new romantic status until you are undeniably sure you will be staying together. You don't want to break their hearts again. Share with each other your hopes, dreams, and expectations for the future. You may be very different people now; make sure you both want the same things.
€ Before you 'go public', it is a must that you get some relationship counselling from experts. A practitioner will ask the difficult questions and help you resolve any haunting concerns over the factors that caused the demise in the first place such as: finances, parenting differences, or unfaithfulness. Do not move forward until you are both truly ready to forgive and forget.
I cannot stress enough, do not be a statistic, do not rush into deciding to remarry your ex-spouse! Take the time you need to be sure that there will be a solid guarantee on both sides to making this bond last for a lifetime.
Sparks do fly, first of antagonism, then of yearning, and finally of love. As expected, the movie ends with a lovely wedding, and the audience is left to assume that Mum and Dad did indeed find eternal bliss with each other, thanks to the twins.
The movie has become a timeless classic because it hits into the understanding that every single child of divorced parents silently yearns for their father and mother to get back in each other's arms again. Oftentimes, when kids are involved, the decision to remarry or even date your ex-spouse is one that must be well-thought-out very carefully. Researches show that over 65% of marriages between ex-spouses tend to end up in divorce, again. Perhaps the most famous couple who springs to mind is Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. However then a study of Elizabeth Taylor's need to keep marrying and then divorcing almost as quickly, is a subject for another article.
Back to remarrying your ex; if this applies to you, or you know someone who is considering this, here are 5 things to think about:
€ First of all, truly and honestly find out what went wrong in the first place. What was the major cause of your split-up? Does that problem still exist? Can you both acknowledge to the other your share in the marriage failing. These things are never one-sided; it's time for both of you to take your part of the responsibility.
€ The second point is you need to recognise why you want to get back together. Deep down are you doing this to make your kids happy, are you lonely and enjoying the familiarity, or are you having a hard time coping on your own? If the answer isn't because you realise you deeply love each other but just didn't try hard enough before separating to sort things out to resolve the conflict, you may find the major issues begin to surface again once the 'honeymoon' period is over.
€ It would do both of you good if you spend some time together away from the children. Do not let them in on your new romantic status until you are undeniably sure you will be staying together. You don't want to break their hearts again. Share with each other your hopes, dreams, and expectations for the future. You may be very different people now; make sure you both want the same things.
€ Before you 'go public', it is a must that you get some relationship counselling from experts. A practitioner will ask the difficult questions and help you resolve any haunting concerns over the factors that caused the demise in the first place such as: finances, parenting differences, or unfaithfulness. Do not move forward until you are both truly ready to forgive and forget.
I cannot stress enough, do not be a statistic, do not rush into deciding to remarry your ex-spouse! Take the time you need to be sure that there will be a solid guarantee on both sides to making this bond last for a lifetime.
