The things people sometimes say, make you wonder whether they've thought about what they are saying before they say it.
Sometimes they say such bizarre things that you are sure that their brain can't have been in gear when they were speaking.
It also seems that people think that their own opinions are so invaluable that they have to share them, whether they are useful or not.
I was at a networking event recently when a woman I knew slightly complimented me on my suit, saying that it made me look really good.
I thanked her and said something trivial like I'd have to wear it more often.
She took this seriously, nodded in agreement and said "Yes, you really should because your other suit makes you look old and fat.
" I couldn't help bursting out in laughter, because it sounded like the ultimate put down and she hadn't intended it humorously at all.
She'd started off intending to compliment and had put her foot right in it, and she didn't even notice.
For some reason she felt that her opinion would be of value to me and so felt obliged to share it.
Luckily I don't take offence at such comments.
Compliments are nice but they don't define me and neither do criticisms.
Once I realized that compliments and criticism are both merely the opinions of others I became more able to let them go without getting emotionally affected by them.
This woman's comment said more about her than it did about me and my suit.
It really wasn't worth being offended by.
I looked for the lesson in this small interaction.
It re-affirmed that I always need to be conscious of the things that I say to others and the intention I have when saying them.
It is too easy to talk on automatic pilot and then come out with something that is unintentionally offensive to them.
By thinking for a few seconds before I speak I can stop myself from saying things that are unsupportive or unhelpful.
I also learned that some people just speak unconsciously very often and that no value should be attached to what they say.
Coaching The main reason that people come out with bizarre things is that they don't stop to think before they speak.
They either don't realize or don't care how their comments will affect the person that they are talking to.
It is up to us to decide how much value we attach to comments like these - far better to let them go, like water off a ducks back.
Make sure that you think before you speak, so that you don't become one of those people yourself.