Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

After adultery - How Can I Save Our Relationship

You may be in a relationship where you or your partner cheated, and you want to know how to move on.  .  The question is, after adultery, how can I save our relationship? You can do quite a number of things to move your relationship forward after one person has been unfaithful, but never forget that the relationship may be past saving. 

To save the relationship and move on after an affair, is going to take a long time and maturity from both the partners in the relationship.  Once you have cast aside the trust it is going to very difficult to bring it back into the relationship.  Some people will never be able to accept a breach of trust in a relationship and the subsequent lack of trust may follow them though other relationships all their lives.  You see, once you've been cheated on, it is very difficult to trust someone again.

Before you start cheating you should think a little about what you are thinking of doing.  The pain you risk causing your partner may rest with them for life so reflect on whether it is worth it for a little excitement on your part.  If you are so insecure as to carry on like this and show you care so little about your partner, ask yourself whether you should be in a relationship in the first place.

Perhaps the most important thing you have to do if you want to move your relationship on after adultery is to sit down together and be totally honest about what has caused the breakdown of their relationship and their individual responsibilities for what has happened.  Errors have certainly been made on both sides as there must be reasons why the relationship fell so far apart that one of you felt they needed to look for someone else who could fulfill their needs.

Only after you have clearly analyzed why things went wrong will you be able to solve your problems.   You are going to need to talk to each other in a rational manner without shouting and accusing one another and it may be possible to save your relationship. 

You have to realize that not all relationships should be saved.  If someone has been consistently cheating on you, you would do better to move on.   If they are so selfish to put their desires and needs so often, you cannot expect that they will change.  Where you are dealing with an isolated weakness, you may be able to work things out.  After adultery, ask yourself, how can I save our relationship?

Joe Bisley

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