You want to get your ex girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse back, after a breakup or separation.
As with any job, you need the right tools, some preparation and the proper procedure to follow.
A few key tips and suggestions from someone who has been there before you, would not hurt either.
Whether you want to get back with your ex or move on, these tools and ideas will help you get in touch with your feelings and emotions.
You will be better prepared for your next relationship, and hopefully will avoid the same pitfalls and traps.
So if surviving breakups is your goal, let's get started! 1.
Time is said to be the great healer.
Eventually, it softens the edges of your pain and gives you a sense of perspective and hopefully, some wisdom and experience.
It can work wonders for you, if you use it wisely.
After your breakup, put some space between you and your ex.
Do not contact him for a while, unless it is really urgent.
Let some of that good ol' time pass.
Then see how you feel, and what you want to do next.
2.
Patience As you begin the process of getting back with your ex, you should go slowly, and be patient.
The two of you are feeling your way over new, unfamiliar ground.
Do not rush things.
Talk about your problems and difficulties, and why you separated.
Go out on a few short dates.
The good thing about short dates is that they are short.
They will leave you both wanting more, and looking forward to your next meeting.
That is good.
3.
You In the period immediately after a breakup, work on yourself, not your ex.
Do not try to convince her to come back right at this point.
Instead, get your own act together.
Accept your share of the blame (there is usually plenty to go around) for what went wrong in the relationship.
Start an exercise program, lose weight, refresh your wardrobe, clean out your house, get rid of those bad habits and adopt some healthier ones, make new friends.
Pick any or all of the above, that appeal to you.
Then get started! 4.
Empathy For men, this is the big one.
Empathy is your ability to recognize and understand your partner's feelings and emotions.
That is a tall order indeed, for anyone.
Lovers are often said to be on the same wavelength, they read each other's thoughts, and so on.
Even so, you must pay careful attention to the moods, actions and words of your mate.
Listen not just to what she says, but how she says it, even when she says it.
Relationships can sometimes be a guessing game, as you try to figure out what your partner really means or wants.
The good news is, it gets easier as you get to know him/her better, as long as you are making the effort to connect.
Empathy is closely related to 5.
Sensitivity Another biggie for men.
This means always having your antennae out, and catching her frame of mind and humor.
Watch her facial expressions.
You will soon learn how to tell if she had a bad day at work, needs some extra attention, does not feel like cooking supper, or just needs to get out of the house.
6.
Be Positive This may be hard to do right about now.
You may be feeling discouraged and depressed.
But with time, you will get through this.
Take a trip or vacation, or make some other big change in your life.
It will no doubt perk you up and improve your mood.
It has been said that when you help others, you heal your own wounds.
So get out of the house and do some volunteer work.
Tell yourself sternly every day that you will be happy and content and enjoy this day, no matter what life throws at you.
Then do exactly that.
7.
The Eyes Have It The eyes are supposed to be the window to the soul.
It is your point of entry into another's psyche.
Whether you are in the process of surviving breakups and ultimately reuniting with your ex, or you intend to move on, always look people in the eye when you talk to them.
Folks who cannot look you in the eye are often thought of as shifty and untrustworthy.
You certainly do not want that to happen to you.
Look at your mate directly and deeply, right in the eyes.
It will help create, or recreate, that all-important bond between you.