Wanting Your Ex Back For the Right Reasons - Some Questions to Ask Yourself
Are you wanting your ex back for the right reasons? Do you think the two of you can make a success of things the second time around? How would each of you cope with the break up that you're now experiencing? How much danger is there of the same thing happening again? These are some of the questions you should ask yourself before you commit to winning your ex back and planning how you're going to do it.
And these questions, including others you can easily think of that apply in your unique situation, will lead you to knowing for sure if wanting your ex back is a realistic wish.
So - why do you really want your ex back? Do you miss their company - the fun you had together? Of course you do, but is that the only or main reason? Or just one of thousands? Was life more comfortable when you were together? Did you enjoy all the perks of a boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife, and you're going to find it difficult to manage in all life's complicated ways on your own? Do financial reasons come into it at all? Were you able to enjoy things like being driven around in a nice car and foreign holidays that you wouldn't have been able to afford on your own? Did you enjoy access to other people whose company you enjoyed and whom you won't now be able to mix with? Do you see what I'm getting at? It may be that some or all of these things apply to you, but that's not the vital point.
Even the most rock-solid relationships give one or both parties (usually both) material advantages - for example, one side may benefit by having a more luxurious lifestyle and more money than they would otherwise have had while the other enjoys a high standard of domestic cuisine that wouldn't be there otherwise.
But those advantages, in spite of being mutually beneficial, aren't what hold the relationship together.
The only thing that can do that, though it sounds corny to say it, is true love.
That is the ultimate question, and you shouldn't need to think very much about that to know the answer.
Do you truly love your ex, and, more importantly, do they, or did they, truly love you? The answer to this last question is vital.
You have to be totally honest with yourself.
Perhaps they did at one time love you but because of something you did or your general pattern of behaviour towards them over a period of time they no longer do so.
If you're uncertain as to whether they ever really did love you then the chances of winning them back are small.
But if you're sure your ex did love you, or even better that they still really do love you, then you can work realistically on the best tips on getting your ex back that you can find.
Love has to come from both sides and it can't be forced.
You should know what made your ex love you in the first place - often it's simply by being who you are (or were at the time you first met) - and you should work on that.
And these questions, including others you can easily think of that apply in your unique situation, will lead you to knowing for sure if wanting your ex back is a realistic wish.
So - why do you really want your ex back? Do you miss their company - the fun you had together? Of course you do, but is that the only or main reason? Or just one of thousands? Was life more comfortable when you were together? Did you enjoy all the perks of a boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife, and you're going to find it difficult to manage in all life's complicated ways on your own? Do financial reasons come into it at all? Were you able to enjoy things like being driven around in a nice car and foreign holidays that you wouldn't have been able to afford on your own? Did you enjoy access to other people whose company you enjoyed and whom you won't now be able to mix with? Do you see what I'm getting at? It may be that some or all of these things apply to you, but that's not the vital point.
Even the most rock-solid relationships give one or both parties (usually both) material advantages - for example, one side may benefit by having a more luxurious lifestyle and more money than they would otherwise have had while the other enjoys a high standard of domestic cuisine that wouldn't be there otherwise.
But those advantages, in spite of being mutually beneficial, aren't what hold the relationship together.
The only thing that can do that, though it sounds corny to say it, is true love.
That is the ultimate question, and you shouldn't need to think very much about that to know the answer.
Do you truly love your ex, and, more importantly, do they, or did they, truly love you? The answer to this last question is vital.
You have to be totally honest with yourself.
Perhaps they did at one time love you but because of something you did or your general pattern of behaviour towards them over a period of time they no longer do so.
If you're uncertain as to whether they ever really did love you then the chances of winning them back are small.
But if you're sure your ex did love you, or even better that they still really do love you, then you can work realistically on the best tips on getting your ex back that you can find.
Love has to come from both sides and it can't be forced.
You should know what made your ex love you in the first place - often it's simply by being who you are (or were at the time you first met) - and you should work on that.
