You know, there are things in this world that simply baffle me.
Usually, they are things that other people apparently just don't get or simply overlook.
Whatever the reason, with the right sarcastic presentation, I'm sure you'll be baffled as well.
Question #1 Why would anyone want to eat hairy M&M's? Oh sure, the little M&M guys running around make for some great commercials.
They are funny, cool, and lovable.
The walking, talking M&M guys were a great marketing idea.
And then they sprouted hair.
I don't know what idiot in the marketing department thought hairy candy was going to be appetizing, but I wholeheartedly disagree.
Hair on candy? What the heck are they thinking? I mean, I love M&M's, but hair? Eyeballs, arms, legs, mouths, no problem.
Heck, even the thought that the little guys have little M&M guts isn't so bad, but hair? Ick! I don't want to have to shave my candy before I can eat it.
Question #2 For the "cause"? We've all heard about the breast cancer awareness campaign, "Susan G.
Komen, for the cure.
" But elsewhere you will see little pink ribbons that say "for the cause.
" I don't get it.
Donating money to "cure" breast cancer I can understand, but donating money to the "cause" of it? Like I said, I just don't get it.
Question #3 Do you realize that when you eat an oyster you are eating the whole oyster? We get meat from a lot of sources.
In general, though, meat comes from the muscle tissue of the animal.
When eating an oyster, however, you are not just eating oyster muscle, you are eating the entire animal.
That would include oyster brains, guts, mouth, rectum, whatever it ate for its last meal, and...
need I go on? I don't think so.
I believe I made my point.
Question #4 Why does the ATM feel the need to remind me to "please take cash".
Hello! What do you think I came to the ATM for in the first place? Like I'm going to forget the money! Sheesh! Question #5 What is so "fun" about "fun size" candy? Here we are back at M&M's again.
Not the hairy ones, this time, but the ones that come in those little tiny packages they call "fun size".
Fun? Huh! What's so fun about a package that starts and ends on the same mouthful? A seven pound bag of M&M's, now THAT would be fun! Yeah, a seven-pounder would be plenty for eating, sharing with friends, making designs on the table, putting in your ice cream, decorating your room, throwing at people, tossing at the cat, sabotaging your roommates shoes...
not that I would ever waste M&M's like that.
But hey, that's just the point, with seven pounds you'd have enough to do whatever you wanted! You could have FUN! That would be a FUN size! That little runt thing they call the "fun size" now? Come on! Ants aren't even satisfied with that amount! I gave a "fun size" package to a chipmunk once, he throw them back at me, stood up, and said, "Don't tease me.
It's not like I go run down to the corner tree and buy more, you know?" Personally, I think the only reason they call it "fun size" is because "frustrating size" wouldn't fit on the package.
Now, I don't know for certain, but I'm betting the "fun size" idea came from the same moron who later decided to put hair on them.
What do you think?