On a day that started to be one that was for sure going to be a long one. I saw it, come down the dirt road. There was dust everywhere, and I started to yell at the fool to slow down. But of course, he did not hear me. There was only one tree near the road, and the way I saw it, he had to be the luckiest man alive. Cause with only one tree to hit, he did a great job of it. There was a bang that the whole county could hear. With parts of the car scattered everywhere. Yes sir, I saw the whole dang thing happen. About the time I was going to spit a little toe back on the ground, I saw it hit. I jumped to my feet and ran down to see. But I did have to stop and get the toe back off the bottom of my foot, cause that stuff will make you spin out you know. Well, anyway, hey mister, you did say I would be on the six o'clock news, did you not? Oh, okay, I will, I see, then you don't want me to say stuff about my toe back, say mister, you mad at Old John? Where is my manners at? Do you want a chew of my toe back, sir? NO, I made this myself mister, and the hogs only rolled on it for an hour or so. What's that? Oh yea, they do the rolling for flavor. Oh the car and the man and tree, okay sir, heck no, I ain't drunk. I only had a jar of shine today sir. Oh the wreck the man had…. I was saying before you got me off the subject. I had to stop and get the toe back off my foot and when I looked up this big hairy thing kissed me, must have been six feet ten and a good kisser. I was sure that if it wanted to marry I would say I do. Then it took my jar of shine and turned it up and drank even the last drop. I am sure, sir, it was a hairy big, big woman that could drink better than me. Oh yes, sir, she could not drive to good you see, she hit the tree. Heck, what did you want mister, one jar or two? Old John had only drank three jars of his selling shine. That was okay, he had lots. The corn was growing good this year and he had already made twenty seven dollars this year. Reading was not something John did, but he would look at the pictures in the wish book. He had two wish books, the big one in the one he liked the best, it had everything a man would want. John was feeling hot, so he unscrewed the jar of shine by the chair. He took a long hard drink, and looked at the tree where the woman, well he thinks it was a woman had hit it. John was starting to get just a little drunk. That is when he saw it coming down the damn road, a car with a flashing light on it. John's eyes got big and his heart started running wide open. He ran to the tree and got the shot gun. The car did not even slow down, dirt and rocks flew hard all over him. The dust was so thick that it made him thirsty. So John, being the great moonshine man of the south, walked back to the chair and got the jar of shine, he turned it up while thinking it was a close call with the revenuer, so John drank long and hard. His head started to spin and he thought he saw the woman again. She had his jar! Holy crap, she was drinking the whole jar. Old drunk John thought she was one hell of a woman. The next thing John remembered was his clothes were gone, and his money and shine was to. He stumbled up to the house and his old lady saw him. He had lip stick all over his face and his privates. She ran in the house and came back out, swinging a fry pan. Old John tried to run like the wind for about ten feet before he fell down, stinking drunk you know. That's when she hit him, not just once, but three times. John went into dream land. Two whole days went by before Old John opened his eyes. Damn was the only word he said as he laid there in the dirt. John was trying to think, but everything hurt, even the pea brain he had. He knew that someone was there, but he did not care, besides he could not get up. Then like music to his ears, he heard her voice as she said, move old man and I will kill you. John wondered what kind of crap he had got into. The he passed out again.