Would You, Could You Make a Personal Commitment to Non-Violence?
Each of us is violent in our everyday lives.
When we get angry, we are smack-dab in the middle of violence.
Anger is not an emotion.
Anger is our defense mechanism of attacking.
We get defensive because we're scared.
The emotion behind anger is always fear.
Our anger is an attack.
Irritated with the kids? We are attacking.
Angry with our spouse? Attack.
Frustrated with a coworker? Attack.
Raging at an idiot driver? Attack.
Sarcastic with a family member? Attack.
Furious with 'Dancing with the Stars' judges? Attack.
Is there anything more violent than attacking someone? What's the difference between a father who kills a volunteer coach in a fit of Arena Rage and you? He only used the amount of energy he needed to get safe.
It's a difference of degrees.
When we attack someone with our anger, they recognize that our anger is an attack.
And they will immediately defend themselves.
Often their defense is to attack back, and we have a situation of escalating anger.
Pure violence.
If all anger is an attack because we're scared, our anger has nothing to do with anyone else.
They don't push our buttons.
We have no buttons on our foreheads to push.
They don't know our triggers.
They aren't doing it to us.
They can't get our goat.
They have nothing to do with it.
You have the fears.
What's the difference between your irritation with an idiot driver, and the Montreal man who killed himself chasing down a woman who cut him off? How much fear was he carrying that he's never looked at and certainly never gotten rid of? And the difference be you and him is...
? It's a difference of degrees.
If we would take a look at our fears and clear them out, we would never again get angry.
But we don't.
Instead, we briefly feel the fear, then deflect our thoughts and go on the attack.
It's easier to attack someone than to face the pain of our fears.
The Season for Non-Violence, marked by the memorial anniversaries of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.
, is from January 25 to April 4.
Let's extend it until July! Each time you feel irritated, angry, annoyed, frustrated, or raging, STOP.
Ask yourself, "What am I scared of? What hurts?" Begin or continue your conversations with, "I'm scared that...
" or "I'm hurt that...
" When you talk about your fears, others won't attack you.
Instead, they'll feel safe enough to talk about theirs.
And in conversations where we share our fears, we have conversations without violence.
Remember, your fears come from inside you.
They have nothing to do with anyone else.
As you look at and deal with your fears, your anger will disappear.
You can lead a calm, harmonious, peaceful life.
It starts with you.
And, as you create a little bit of peace in your life over the next months, it will ripple throughout the world.
When we get angry, we are smack-dab in the middle of violence.
Anger is not an emotion.
Anger is our defense mechanism of attacking.
We get defensive because we're scared.
The emotion behind anger is always fear.
Our anger is an attack.
Irritated with the kids? We are attacking.
Angry with our spouse? Attack.
Frustrated with a coworker? Attack.
Raging at an idiot driver? Attack.
Sarcastic with a family member? Attack.
Furious with 'Dancing with the Stars' judges? Attack.
Is there anything more violent than attacking someone? What's the difference between a father who kills a volunteer coach in a fit of Arena Rage and you? He only used the amount of energy he needed to get safe.
It's a difference of degrees.
When we attack someone with our anger, they recognize that our anger is an attack.
And they will immediately defend themselves.
Often their defense is to attack back, and we have a situation of escalating anger.
Pure violence.
If all anger is an attack because we're scared, our anger has nothing to do with anyone else.
They don't push our buttons.
We have no buttons on our foreheads to push.
They don't know our triggers.
They aren't doing it to us.
They can't get our goat.
They have nothing to do with it.
You have the fears.
What's the difference between your irritation with an idiot driver, and the Montreal man who killed himself chasing down a woman who cut him off? How much fear was he carrying that he's never looked at and certainly never gotten rid of? And the difference be you and him is...
? It's a difference of degrees.
If we would take a look at our fears and clear them out, we would never again get angry.
But we don't.
Instead, we briefly feel the fear, then deflect our thoughts and go on the attack.
It's easier to attack someone than to face the pain of our fears.
The Season for Non-Violence, marked by the memorial anniversaries of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.
, is from January 25 to April 4.
Let's extend it until July! Each time you feel irritated, angry, annoyed, frustrated, or raging, STOP.
Ask yourself, "What am I scared of? What hurts?" Begin or continue your conversations with, "I'm scared that...
" or "I'm hurt that...
" When you talk about your fears, others won't attack you.
Instead, they'll feel safe enough to talk about theirs.
And in conversations where we share our fears, we have conversations without violence.
Remember, your fears come from inside you.
They have nothing to do with anyone else.
As you look at and deal with your fears, your anger will disappear.
You can lead a calm, harmonious, peaceful life.
It starts with you.
And, as you create a little bit of peace in your life over the next months, it will ripple throughout the world.
