Use Praise

Commend your child on a job well done. She needs to hear your encouragement for everything from a high test score to winning the basketball game, completing her chores or performing well at a piano recital. Congratulate your child for trying her best, even if it resulted in failure. Watch closely, notice when she does something right and praise her for it. Don't over-do it, though; children know when their parents are just trying to make them feel better. Be sincere.

Careful Criticism

You have to keep your child on the right track and sometimes that requires criticism. Reward his efforts instead of criticizing his failures. Try this approach: "Next time let's study a bit more and get them all right!" instead of, "I can't believe you missed that question!" Be careful about the words you use; focus less on the negative, more on the positive and use constructive criticism when necessary. Don't call your child names or withhold affection in an effort to help him do better. Say two positive things to your child before saying anything negative.

Develop Interests and Talents

Encourage your child to work on her strengths and abilities as well as her weaknesses. Sit down together and set specific goals according to what she wants to achieve. Reward her when a goal is completed. Create a routine, scheduling time for homework, chores and practicing her talents. Help out when she gets frustrated and don't allow her to use negative self-talk. When she says she can't do math, tell her she just needs to understand it better, and then help her or find someone who can. Be an example; use positive self-talk and your child will, too.

Communication

Show your child that his feelings and opinions are important. Let him choose what to make for dinner. Get his opinion on new living room furniture. Ask how things are going at school. Spend one-on-one time; see a movie, have lunch together or go for a walk. Spending time alone with your child will make him feel valued and loved. Allow him to express sadness, anger, happiness and success. Share things about your own life or childhood, and your child will want to share with you. Look on the bright side and use humor when possible.