I Give Myself a B
Parenting with forethought in mind is something I talk a lot about in my work as a parenting coach.
It is also something I was conscience of even before my children arrived.
The need to be aware that while they were small they would only be that way for so long and that my main job was not to make them stay with me forever but instead the complete opposite was true is was my job and other parents job as well to prepare them to leave us and not need us at all one day.
I knew they would go their own way one day and I needed to prepare myself and them for it.
I think if I was to grade myself on this process over the years: (the process being: giving them the skills to survive and thrive financially, practically, spiritually, in relationships etc.
and then to make sure for myself that I had other things in my life that made me feel fulfilled beyond being a mom and having hopes and dreams in place for what I would do once they didn't live here or need me in their day to day) the grade I would give myself is a B.
One might think a B? but that isn't doing it perfect - well in my opinion perfect, especially when it involves people, doesn't exist.
So I am proud of my B - for the most part they are doing well as older individuals though from time to time I might think of one more thing I should of told them/ taught them - but now I have to trust life and the real world to do that, after all that is how I learn best.
And as for the letting go part I have done pretty well - I'm busy with my work I had planned to do when they were older (love being a parenting coach) I cried for two days when I dropped my daughter off at college but then I woke up on the third day excited about the extra time and energy that would be available to me - and I've been filling it every since.
My son will head off to college soon and has his license and I can honestly say that I find his independence and the milestones that make him more and more independent to be exciting and fun.
As we look at which college it will be for him it just makes me proud.
Though I'm sure there will be some tear days when I drop him off too.
But let me tell you I have some great stuff planned for myself with the extra time and energy his total departure will bring - look out world! I know I will enjoy hearing about his accomplishments and the struggles that happen in his adult life as I have been my daughter.
So my advice to anyone with little or big ones is be aware that truly giving them those wings (especially strong tough ones) is something not to dread or avoid but the one thing you should pat yourself on the back for and be most focused on.
They need to roots - but the real fun and satisfaction comes in watching them fly.
Just be sure that you have your wings ready to go so you can fly too! I know I am even if my wings are theirs are only of B grade quality; they still work!!
It is also something I was conscience of even before my children arrived.
The need to be aware that while they were small they would only be that way for so long and that my main job was not to make them stay with me forever but instead the complete opposite was true is was my job and other parents job as well to prepare them to leave us and not need us at all one day.
I knew they would go their own way one day and I needed to prepare myself and them for it.
I think if I was to grade myself on this process over the years: (the process being: giving them the skills to survive and thrive financially, practically, spiritually, in relationships etc.
and then to make sure for myself that I had other things in my life that made me feel fulfilled beyond being a mom and having hopes and dreams in place for what I would do once they didn't live here or need me in their day to day) the grade I would give myself is a B.
One might think a B? but that isn't doing it perfect - well in my opinion perfect, especially when it involves people, doesn't exist.
So I am proud of my B - for the most part they are doing well as older individuals though from time to time I might think of one more thing I should of told them/ taught them - but now I have to trust life and the real world to do that, after all that is how I learn best.
And as for the letting go part I have done pretty well - I'm busy with my work I had planned to do when they were older (love being a parenting coach) I cried for two days when I dropped my daughter off at college but then I woke up on the third day excited about the extra time and energy that would be available to me - and I've been filling it every since.
My son will head off to college soon and has his license and I can honestly say that I find his independence and the milestones that make him more and more independent to be exciting and fun.
As we look at which college it will be for him it just makes me proud.
Though I'm sure there will be some tear days when I drop him off too.
But let me tell you I have some great stuff planned for myself with the extra time and energy his total departure will bring - look out world! I know I will enjoy hearing about his accomplishments and the struggles that happen in his adult life as I have been my daughter.
So my advice to anyone with little or big ones is be aware that truly giving them those wings (especially strong tough ones) is something not to dread or avoid but the one thing you should pat yourself on the back for and be most focused on.
They need to roots - but the real fun and satisfaction comes in watching them fly.
Just be sure that you have your wings ready to go so you can fly too! I know I am even if my wings are theirs are only of B grade quality; they still work!!
