Want to Be Lonely?
You can be lonely and stay that way.
Just follow these twelve tongue-in-cheek suggestions.
Step 1: Never admit to having feelings of loneliness.
If you never admit to having such feelings you will not feel the need to do something about it.
You can also continue to wallow in your comfortable inertia.
Step 2: Become an atheist and don't trust yourself or any one else.
Not believing in God, yourself or any one else is sure to set you on a path to achieving loneliness surely and quickly.
Step 3: Never forgive anyone, including yourself.
Not forgiving anyone ensures that the universal scorecard is maintained well and all wrongs are recorded there.
The fact that you will spend more time alone is O.
K.
as long as you do your part in keeping up the universal scorecard.
Step 4: Keep doing things the way you have always done them.
After all some one has to keep up the traditions, and besides, you are comfortable doing things your way.
Step 5: Always take an interest in gossip, that is where the juicy real information is.
Also, life is so much more fun when you hear the nitty gritty about people.
Step 6: Be sure to pass on the gossip.
If you do not pass on the gossip you are not likely to receive any.
That is the way of gossip.
Step 7: Watch the action after you have passed on the gossip.
People hate to have their unflattering information exposed.
It is so much fun to watch them squirm.
So what if they hate you and don't want to be friends with you.
Step 8: Do something to make other people squirm.
That's your payback to them for being smarter than you and also for ignoring you.
Step 9: You don't have to figure out why you are lonely.
If people don't have the sense enough to seek out your company, it is because they are dumb.
There is nothing for you to figure out.
And nothing for you to do.
Step 10: It is simply too much effort to go looking for friends.
It is much easier and more efficient to simply pay for company and sex.
You are too short of time to look for friends.
Step 11: Don't bother to have platonic friends.
You have too many intellectual interests to pursue and don't have time for platonic friends.
Friends waste time in silly activities.
Step 12: You are self reliant.
You don't need anybody.
You would rather be free to be lonely.
Twelve easy steps to loneliness.
Want to be lonely?
Just follow these twelve tongue-in-cheek suggestions.
Step 1: Never admit to having feelings of loneliness.
If you never admit to having such feelings you will not feel the need to do something about it.
You can also continue to wallow in your comfortable inertia.
Step 2: Become an atheist and don't trust yourself or any one else.
Not believing in God, yourself or any one else is sure to set you on a path to achieving loneliness surely and quickly.
Step 3: Never forgive anyone, including yourself.
Not forgiving anyone ensures that the universal scorecard is maintained well and all wrongs are recorded there.
The fact that you will spend more time alone is O.
K.
as long as you do your part in keeping up the universal scorecard.
Step 4: Keep doing things the way you have always done them.
After all some one has to keep up the traditions, and besides, you are comfortable doing things your way.
Step 5: Always take an interest in gossip, that is where the juicy real information is.
Also, life is so much more fun when you hear the nitty gritty about people.
Step 6: Be sure to pass on the gossip.
If you do not pass on the gossip you are not likely to receive any.
That is the way of gossip.
Step 7: Watch the action after you have passed on the gossip.
People hate to have their unflattering information exposed.
It is so much fun to watch them squirm.
So what if they hate you and don't want to be friends with you.
Step 8: Do something to make other people squirm.
That's your payback to them for being smarter than you and also for ignoring you.
Step 9: You don't have to figure out why you are lonely.
If people don't have the sense enough to seek out your company, it is because they are dumb.
There is nothing for you to figure out.
And nothing for you to do.
Step 10: It is simply too much effort to go looking for friends.
It is much easier and more efficient to simply pay for company and sex.
You are too short of time to look for friends.
Step 11: Don't bother to have platonic friends.
You have too many intellectual interests to pursue and don't have time for platonic friends.
Friends waste time in silly activities.
Step 12: You are self reliant.
You don't need anybody.
You would rather be free to be lonely.
Twelve easy steps to loneliness.
Want to be lonely?
