ADHD Sibling Rivalry: Paying Attention to Non-ADHD Kids
If you have a child with ADHD, you probably spend a lot of time driving to doctor's appointments, meeting with teachers, or searching for special food.
But do you get to devote as much individual attention to siblings without ADHD? Even though you'd like to give all your children equal attention, kids who are hyperactive, easily distractible, or impulsive really will demand more of your time and energy.
It's easy to lose yourself watching out for an ADHD child that you forget to attend to the needs of your other children.
So how can you give your ADHD child the attention he or she needs without making the others feel neglected? Here are the complaints your non-ADHD children might have and how you can respond to them.
"I don't get enough attention.
" The most common complaint of siblings without ADHD is that their sister or brother demands so much attention from parents, there's hardly any ever left for them.
Some kids might let their parents know by complaining outright, but others might withdraw or act out just to get more attention.
The first step to bridging the attention gap is to be aware of how your non-ADHD child feels.
Even though your ADHD child needs extra help, set aside some alone time with your other kids every day.
"She's always fighting with me.
" It's normal for kids to get irritated at their siblings, but children with ADHD are more likely to get irritated faster, lose their temper, and lash out at siblings.
When this happens, make sure that you provide consistent discipline.
Establish rules for appropriate behavior and clarify the consequences for breaking these rules.
For instance, if a sibling hits another sibling, he has to spend an hour in his room.
If you notice that these squabbles happen at certain times of the day, like while getting ready for school or doing homework - separate the children at these times.
Of course, behavioral therapy will help your ADHD child rein in the impulsive tendencies that fuel this behavior.
"Why do I have to do all the work?" When you have chores or errands that need to be done, your first instinct might be to turn to the child without ADHD.
It's not a surprising decision - the child without ADHD will probably get the job done quicker, while the ADHD child might need constant reminding.
However, the child without ADHD might resent the fact that he or she has to pick up the slack for the brother or sister with ADHD.
Keep the household running smoothly by making sure that everyone has a share in the chores.
Create a schedule of chores that need to be done, assign these to each child, and post the list on a place where everyone can see.
But do you get to devote as much individual attention to siblings without ADHD? Even though you'd like to give all your children equal attention, kids who are hyperactive, easily distractible, or impulsive really will demand more of your time and energy.
It's easy to lose yourself watching out for an ADHD child that you forget to attend to the needs of your other children.
So how can you give your ADHD child the attention he or she needs without making the others feel neglected? Here are the complaints your non-ADHD children might have and how you can respond to them.
"I don't get enough attention.
" The most common complaint of siblings without ADHD is that their sister or brother demands so much attention from parents, there's hardly any ever left for them.
Some kids might let their parents know by complaining outright, but others might withdraw or act out just to get more attention.
The first step to bridging the attention gap is to be aware of how your non-ADHD child feels.
Even though your ADHD child needs extra help, set aside some alone time with your other kids every day.
"She's always fighting with me.
" It's normal for kids to get irritated at their siblings, but children with ADHD are more likely to get irritated faster, lose their temper, and lash out at siblings.
When this happens, make sure that you provide consistent discipline.
Establish rules for appropriate behavior and clarify the consequences for breaking these rules.
For instance, if a sibling hits another sibling, he has to spend an hour in his room.
If you notice that these squabbles happen at certain times of the day, like while getting ready for school or doing homework - separate the children at these times.
Of course, behavioral therapy will help your ADHD child rein in the impulsive tendencies that fuel this behavior.
"Why do I have to do all the work?" When you have chores or errands that need to be done, your first instinct might be to turn to the child without ADHD.
It's not a surprising decision - the child without ADHD will probably get the job done quicker, while the ADHD child might need constant reminding.
However, the child without ADHD might resent the fact that he or she has to pick up the slack for the brother or sister with ADHD.
Keep the household running smoothly by making sure that everyone has a share in the chores.
Create a schedule of chores that need to be done, assign these to each child, and post the list on a place where everyone can see.
