Your Boyfriend Won"t Commit: What To Do
Are you having trouble figuring out why your boyfriend won't commit? Do you feel sometimes like he may still want to play the field? Don't you wish you knew how to get him to make a move? Almost all of us have been in a stalled relationship at some time.
While there's no single answer on how to handle a situation like this, start with an honest evaluation of the relationship.
Before you invest another day in a relationship where your boyfriend won't commit, ask yourself these questions: Do you have different timetables? How quickly or slowly your relationship is moving is a relative concept to any couple.
Often in relationships, a push-pull dynamic develops between partners who have different ideas about the appropriate timeline for making a commitment.
These different views may have little or nothing to do with feelings toward a partner, and more about how they see priorities, goals, and plans.
If a guy has always told himself he would finish college and got settled in his career before marriage, during college he is probably going to pace himself a bit in romantic relationships.
His girlfriend may be the woman of his dreams, but his timetable is: education, then career, then marriage.
Now think about your own life schedule.
Maybe you've always said that you wanted to be engaged in your early 20s, and having children before you were 30.
While you hear a clock ticking, your boyfriend may feel that everything's unfolding just like it should.
Do you have different feelings? On the other hand, sometimes a relationship is unbalanced due to lack of emotional connection.
Unfortunately, one of the reasons that your boyfriend might not commit is that he's just not as emotionally invested in the relationship.
Some guys really enjoy playing the field until they find "the one" they want to settle down with.
Until then, they have enjoyable but superficial relationships.
Look for the signs of whether your boyfriend has strong feelings for you.
Those signs may range from verbal statements; e.
g.
, he tells you he loves you, to non-verbal cues and behaviors; e.
g.
, he spends every spare moment with you and always seems glad to see you.
But if your boyfriend is evasive, withholding of his emotions, undependable, and is dating others, these are signs that he just may not be that into you.
Does he have a fear of commitment? Sometimes the feelings are there, but a guy also has feelings of anxiety or fear of rejection.
Your guy's own emotional insecurity can make him a commitment-phobe, no matter how much he cares.
He may have had problems in previous relationships, or just be lacking in self-confidence.
These feelings may paralyze his ability to take the next step in your relationship.
What are you prepared to do? Now that's you've evaluated the relationship, you can make an educated guess as to why your boyfriend won't commit.
Depending upon the reason, your course of action will vary: Different timetables - If someone is on a different relationship "schedule" than you, it might help to talk with your boyfriend about your respective timetables for the future.
Ask yourself if you can deal with a relationship that is somewhat slower paced than you might prefer.
Different feelings - Sometimes it's best to walk away rather than invest additional months and years in a relationship that is not emotionally balanced.
In the best relationships, both partners have relatively equal levels of caring and commitment.
Can you make the decision to walk away from a dead-end relationship when your boyfriend won't commit? Fear of commitment - Your boyfriend may need some reassurance from you.
Let him see how much you care and give him a little room to work things out.
When you're boyfriend won't commit, your frustration and anxiety can take away all the joy of a relationship.
But if you are willing to evaluate the situation honestly and thoroughly by answering these questions, you will find yourself on the road to better understanding -of why your boyfriend won't commit and of what you can do to better handle your feelings and actions.
While there's no single answer on how to handle a situation like this, start with an honest evaluation of the relationship.
Before you invest another day in a relationship where your boyfriend won't commit, ask yourself these questions: Do you have different timetables? How quickly or slowly your relationship is moving is a relative concept to any couple.
Often in relationships, a push-pull dynamic develops between partners who have different ideas about the appropriate timeline for making a commitment.
These different views may have little or nothing to do with feelings toward a partner, and more about how they see priorities, goals, and plans.
If a guy has always told himself he would finish college and got settled in his career before marriage, during college he is probably going to pace himself a bit in romantic relationships.
His girlfriend may be the woman of his dreams, but his timetable is: education, then career, then marriage.
Now think about your own life schedule.
Maybe you've always said that you wanted to be engaged in your early 20s, and having children before you were 30.
While you hear a clock ticking, your boyfriend may feel that everything's unfolding just like it should.
Do you have different feelings? On the other hand, sometimes a relationship is unbalanced due to lack of emotional connection.
Unfortunately, one of the reasons that your boyfriend might not commit is that he's just not as emotionally invested in the relationship.
Some guys really enjoy playing the field until they find "the one" they want to settle down with.
Until then, they have enjoyable but superficial relationships.
Look for the signs of whether your boyfriend has strong feelings for you.
Those signs may range from verbal statements; e.
g.
, he tells you he loves you, to non-verbal cues and behaviors; e.
g.
, he spends every spare moment with you and always seems glad to see you.
But if your boyfriend is evasive, withholding of his emotions, undependable, and is dating others, these are signs that he just may not be that into you.
Does he have a fear of commitment? Sometimes the feelings are there, but a guy also has feelings of anxiety or fear of rejection.
Your guy's own emotional insecurity can make him a commitment-phobe, no matter how much he cares.
He may have had problems in previous relationships, or just be lacking in self-confidence.
These feelings may paralyze his ability to take the next step in your relationship.
What are you prepared to do? Now that's you've evaluated the relationship, you can make an educated guess as to why your boyfriend won't commit.
Depending upon the reason, your course of action will vary: Different timetables - If someone is on a different relationship "schedule" than you, it might help to talk with your boyfriend about your respective timetables for the future.
Ask yourself if you can deal with a relationship that is somewhat slower paced than you might prefer.
Different feelings - Sometimes it's best to walk away rather than invest additional months and years in a relationship that is not emotionally balanced.
In the best relationships, both partners have relatively equal levels of caring and commitment.
Can you make the decision to walk away from a dead-end relationship when your boyfriend won't commit? Fear of commitment - Your boyfriend may need some reassurance from you.
Let him see how much you care and give him a little room to work things out.
When you're boyfriend won't commit, your frustration and anxiety can take away all the joy of a relationship.
But if you are willing to evaluate the situation honestly and thoroughly by answering these questions, you will find yourself on the road to better understanding -of why your boyfriend won't commit and of what you can do to better handle your feelings and actions.
