How to Discipline Children - Parenting Questions and Misbehaving Children
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
We've all heard this saying, and people often misuse it when they try to defend their disciplinary methods, but contrary to what you may have been led to believe, it does not mean to use force on children.
So what should you do to instill discipline and self control in your children? First to address "spare the rod.
" The rod in question isn't even from the Christian bible, but was written about much later (the 1800's actually) and yes, that saying does reflect Biblical teachings, but was misinterpreted.
The "rod" was used by shepherds to guide their flock and that should be what is done: Guidance.
Guidance means having set rules and consequences for children and teens.
The other old saying, "not as long as you live under this roof" is very valid and hopefully the guidance given prior to the exodus will provide them with standards to live by.
Rules and consequences, not rules and punishments.
There is a difference.
Setting up known consequences for bad behavior should be the standard in any household, and the real 'secret' is to enforce the consequences and not be wishy washy about that enforcement.
Changing the rules of the game in the middle of the game is simply confusing to everyone involved.
Of course all behavior cannot be covered in general rules of the house, so there has to be some general knowledge of "and other circumstances that may have not been specifically covered.
" Consequences can be pretty standard and severity of consequences needs to fit the circumstance.
As Tony Beretta said, "don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.
" A simple four tier consequence system seems to generally work well.
Grounding, grounding without 'screens', grounding without screens or communication, and you are grounded to your room and can only twiddle your thumbs for entertainment.
We have found that the threat of 'no screens' (meaning computer, TV, video) is taken pretty seriously since this generation seems regularly glued to screens.
It's impossible to cover discipline in one short article, but hopefully this gives you a basis for what you want to do.
Physical punishment generally sends the message that it's OK to hit if you have a reason.
Firm, fair and consistent parents are the ones who get respect from their offspring.
We've all heard this saying, and people often misuse it when they try to defend their disciplinary methods, but contrary to what you may have been led to believe, it does not mean to use force on children.
So what should you do to instill discipline and self control in your children? First to address "spare the rod.
" The rod in question isn't even from the Christian bible, but was written about much later (the 1800's actually) and yes, that saying does reflect Biblical teachings, but was misinterpreted.
The "rod" was used by shepherds to guide their flock and that should be what is done: Guidance.
Guidance means having set rules and consequences for children and teens.
The other old saying, "not as long as you live under this roof" is very valid and hopefully the guidance given prior to the exodus will provide them with standards to live by.
Rules and consequences, not rules and punishments.
There is a difference.
Setting up known consequences for bad behavior should be the standard in any household, and the real 'secret' is to enforce the consequences and not be wishy washy about that enforcement.
Changing the rules of the game in the middle of the game is simply confusing to everyone involved.
Of course all behavior cannot be covered in general rules of the house, so there has to be some general knowledge of "and other circumstances that may have not been specifically covered.
" Consequences can be pretty standard and severity of consequences needs to fit the circumstance.
As Tony Beretta said, "don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.
" A simple four tier consequence system seems to generally work well.
Grounding, grounding without 'screens', grounding without screens or communication, and you are grounded to your room and can only twiddle your thumbs for entertainment.
We have found that the threat of 'no screens' (meaning computer, TV, video) is taken pretty seriously since this generation seems regularly glued to screens.
It's impossible to cover discipline in one short article, but hopefully this gives you a basis for what you want to do.
Physical punishment generally sends the message that it's OK to hit if you have a reason.
Firm, fair and consistent parents are the ones who get respect from their offspring.
