Do you know what the number one rated response is when girls are asked what they need in a dad? College daughters reply with an overwhelmingly popular answer, and it goes something like this.
Question: "What do you value most about your dad?" Answer: "My dad is there for me.
I know that he will always be there for me no matter what else is going on in my life.
" Dad, can you do that? I'm sure you want to, but most dads struggle to do "be there" effectively.
Do you know what the greatest complaint about dads is? Response: "My dad isn't available to me.
" Sometimes, this answer is prefaced by, "I know he loves me but .
.
.
" "My dad is really busy.
He tries his best but .
.
.
" "My dad has a lot of stress on him, and I don't want him to have to worry about me too.
" Dad, your daughter needs you.
Your daughter WANTS you.
Even in her college and young adult years there is no one else in the world that holds the keys to her future like you do.
"Be there" for her.
That doesn't mean she runs the show.
Despite what it may look like, that's not what she wants anyway.
She wants you to be her dad.
Some daughters complain that their dads are unavailable because .
.
.
"My dad doesn't think what I have to say is important.
" "I think my dad tries, but he just doesn't understand me.
" "My dad tries to 'fix' everything when all I want to do is talk with him.
" Have you ever heard any of these things from your daughter? Your response may go something like this - "She'll understand one day.
" "She doesn't really know what it takes to succeed in life.
" "I pay her credit card bills.
I pay her tuition.
I've always worked my fingers to the bone to give her the best life I can.
How can she say that?" "We've always had a great relationship.
I don't know where this is coming from.
" What she needs from you now is not the same thing she needed as a child.
Maybe you didn't enjoy changing diapers or holding bottles, but at least then you knew how to provide - even if she wouldn't stop crying.
Maybe she doesn't sit next to you on the couch for some "daddy time" any more.
If she does, GREAT! I've counseled multiple college girls and found that most of them want a strong connection with their dads.
That's right, your daughter craves "daddy time" regardless of how old she is or where she is.
"But she acts like she doesn't want me involved anymore.
" Don't be so sure.
Ironically, in trying to bridge the gap dads and daughters often do things that create more distance.
Even in the best father-daughter relationships there is a significant amount of miscommunication and misunderstanding.
This is even more difficult when she goes to college.