Super Scary Resumes
Abandon hope, all ye who submit one.
Well, abandon hope may be a bit extreme.
But definitely consider revising.
Just in time for Halloween, here are some of the scariest resumés we've ever seen.
The Case of the Spooky Disappearing Contact Info I know this candidate would like for us to get in touch, but evil goblins seem to have erased some crucial contact information.
Although it would seem obvious, you'd be surprised how many resumés we see with no phone number, and sometimes no address.
But the big no-no now that we're in 2010 - leaving off your e-mail.
That makes the hiring manager think that either you're computer illiterate, or you're a time traveler from 1872.
I promise, your information is strictly confidential to us and the companies we submit it to, and it is not being sold to evil timeshare telemarketers.
In the event we can't get in touch by phone, we'd just like to send you a friendly e-mail regarding a job, which we assume is the reason you've submitted your resumé in the first place.
The Formatting of Doom The heading for your most recent position is 12 pt.
Arial Black.
The heading for your previous position is 10 pt Times New Roman Bold.
And the one before that is Comic Sans.
And your descriptions of these positions are 14 pt.
Andale Mono on a dark grey background.
If you are trying to make the hiring manager's eyeballs explode, mission accomplished.
If you are trying to get him or her to read your entire resumé, not so much.
You don't have to do anything fancy with your formatting.
(In fact, most of the time simpler is better.
) But it's important to make sure your fonts and font sizes are consistent so the reader can easily follow along from section to section.
And, I don't care how classy you think it looks, save the fancy, script-y fonts for your wedding invitations.
I'll allow one line of italics per section to highlight your dates of employment, or your previous company's name, but any more than that gets very tedious to read.
And there's a nice, cleanly formatted, easy-to-read resumé right beneath yours.
The Never-Ending Horror We get it.
You've had a long, illustrious career filled with accomplishments, awards, and good times.
You could fill a novel with all of your achievements.
But don't.
The proper length of a resumé is the subject of some debate.
Some say never more than two pages, some say up to four is permissible for a longer career history, and some extremists say never more than one page.
But I can tell you one thing for sure - it should never be upwards of 10 pages.
If the hiring manager wants to read an autobiography, he'll head to Barnes & Noble.
Otherwise, just hit the highlights.
And if you're still over five pages, hit the highlights of the highlights.
Remember, if you spook the reader away, you're probably not going to get many interviews.
Take a good look and decide if you need to banish any demons from your own resumé.
Well, abandon hope may be a bit extreme.
But definitely consider revising.
Just in time for Halloween, here are some of the scariest resumés we've ever seen.
The Case of the Spooky Disappearing Contact Info I know this candidate would like for us to get in touch, but evil goblins seem to have erased some crucial contact information.
Although it would seem obvious, you'd be surprised how many resumés we see with no phone number, and sometimes no address.
But the big no-no now that we're in 2010 - leaving off your e-mail.
That makes the hiring manager think that either you're computer illiterate, or you're a time traveler from 1872.
I promise, your information is strictly confidential to us and the companies we submit it to, and it is not being sold to evil timeshare telemarketers.
In the event we can't get in touch by phone, we'd just like to send you a friendly e-mail regarding a job, which we assume is the reason you've submitted your resumé in the first place.
The Formatting of Doom The heading for your most recent position is 12 pt.
Arial Black.
The heading for your previous position is 10 pt Times New Roman Bold.
And the one before that is Comic Sans.
And your descriptions of these positions are 14 pt.
Andale Mono on a dark grey background.
If you are trying to make the hiring manager's eyeballs explode, mission accomplished.
If you are trying to get him or her to read your entire resumé, not so much.
You don't have to do anything fancy with your formatting.
(In fact, most of the time simpler is better.
) But it's important to make sure your fonts and font sizes are consistent so the reader can easily follow along from section to section.
And, I don't care how classy you think it looks, save the fancy, script-y fonts for your wedding invitations.
I'll allow one line of italics per section to highlight your dates of employment, or your previous company's name, but any more than that gets very tedious to read.
And there's a nice, cleanly formatted, easy-to-read resumé right beneath yours.
The Never-Ending Horror We get it.
You've had a long, illustrious career filled with accomplishments, awards, and good times.
You could fill a novel with all of your achievements.
But don't.
The proper length of a resumé is the subject of some debate.
Some say never more than two pages, some say up to four is permissible for a longer career history, and some extremists say never more than one page.
But I can tell you one thing for sure - it should never be upwards of 10 pages.
If the hiring manager wants to read an autobiography, he'll head to Barnes & Noble.
Otherwise, just hit the highlights.
And if you're still over five pages, hit the highlights of the highlights.
Remember, if you spook the reader away, you're probably not going to get many interviews.
Take a good look and decide if you need to banish any demons from your own resumé.
