Hey, It is so funny that I could write to you, never thought about it until today.
My first thought is to ask, 'how are you?' but that's rhetoric, isn't it? In a few minutes, you will be a year older, and looking back, I desire to praise, reproach and, maybe, celebrate you.
I remember the studious little girl, who thought she could hide air in the soil in preparation for the dry season! I guess you didn't know what air-conditioners were? What a laugh that will be for your grand-kids.
I remember you hiding under the dining table, refusing all entreaties to come out and play...
that is almost a reflection of your life, always hiding, being too careful, leaving in a world only you understand.
It is amazing that you survived at all.
I also remember the child who wondered about the nature of existence, wondered about life, about "being" as young as 6 years old.
Mum used to say you were an old soul.
A philosopher at birth! You developed an uncanny gift for living in virtual fantasy, a state where the outside world doesn't exist and only the one inside your head does.
In fact, you didn't know what you were until your late teens.
Are you real, at all? In as much as I recall and wonder at your quirks, you are someone I am extremely proud of.
Mum would have been proud.
And Daddy? Hmmn, you where his little love! I was a bit jealous but that is in the past now.
I thought you weak but you have handled life's disappointments well.
You seem to have an inner trove of strength even you are not aware of.
If I am to rebuke you, I will say this; you try too hard, you are too critical of yourself! You know, it took you almost a quarter of a century to love being tall with an oblong face.
And now, you rock heels! Really, you need to ease up.
You felt beauty had failed you? You are the most beautiful person I know.
Accept your frailties.
I hope you will learn to accept it and then you will know you need not be perfect.
Even to yourself, you are an enigma; always hiding even from your self.
Come out of that shell, you don't really have to be little-miss-perfect or goodie two shoes.
Remember, you cannot alter the past or obtain tomorrow, all you have is today and so please enjoy it! Your dreams? You'll still travel the world, consult for governments.
School for Haiti's poor? The land is being prepared.
Jenny's stores to run Shoprite out of town? How dare they come into my backyard and take over? And, ah! The professorial chair in Princeton? It is still a few decades away.
Kids? The 3 Zees.
Even I can't wait to see their faces.
And CSED? It will give the Brookings a run for their money! Or, the Pulitzer Prize, let me just finish my BRT story..
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Thinking of a Nobel? They will have to figure which one they want to recognize, Literature or Peace! As you add another 365 days on this gorgeous planet, learn to live, laugh and love.
The hiding of the bygone past was a waste.
Stay true to yourself; you can't please everybody and everyone.
Find laughter and goodness in all things.
So what if life does not follow your time table? Or you don't even gain a doctorate? You didn't lose your life to that stupid ailment and a little less primping won't distract from your inner beauty.
Smile and the world smiles back.
There's a core of kindness in all things and it isn't a far reach in appreciation.
Don't judge another's choice by yours.
We all walk a journey of challenges.
Treat others with respect and compassion.
The person who walked away, he may have had his own fears too or that friend that is always criticizing you, she may feel you are capable of much more than what you are doing presently.
The foul-mouthed danfo driver? He might be dealing with a huge sense of personal failure.
Have compassion, who knows what you would do if you walked in their shoes.
Be true to your passion.
When will you birth those recipes you copied from 9naijafoodie blog? Oyingbo market is not far from your residence.
You have forever wished to learn Salsa, when will you start? Or yo want to be like the girl in 'Scent of a Woman'? Class is Fridays at Bacchus Nite-club.
Badminton? Your racket has gathered dust.
Your passions are tools for joy.
Take the time to grieve, to heal, allowing pain their process.
Trust that part of you that knows what's best for you.
Never be in a hurry to appear strong or brave or decisive.
It is alright to be weak, to be heart-broken and cry at still-birthed dreams.
They are good for you.
Last, and first, and forever more, never be afraid to love, quit holding back.
What if you are hurt or trampled upon? Love! Love!! Love!!! Love with all your heart.
Love the pain, the joy, the people, the places, the things that touch you.
Intimacy, passion, and happiness can only spring from an open heart.
This is your key, your gift, your answer, your purpose.
Love is its own reward.
Oh, and don't forget, I still have my eyes on you for our dream? When are you going to make it a reality? Hmmn, mars is thinning out you know..
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, and lest I forget, kindly buy me those laced up boots! I have dreamed of them for too long...
again dance...
you are quite good, at least when you are not shy..
..
Okay, OK...
I will leave you alone...
P.
S...
let's make this conversation a yearly thingy, let see how you are catching up.
Oh, and before I forget...
I love you.
You are my dream girl, warts and all! Your Alter-Ego.