Important Questions to Ask Before Starting a Relationship
Sometimes, at the beginning of a new relationship, your new friend or partner knocks you right off your feet, and you quickly and without much warning, find yourself drawn into a serious relationship that you were probably not expecting.
At other times, relationships develop much more slowly, and you have time to think about what you're doing and what you hope will happen.
In that case, the following questions will help you think through some issues before you begin dating someone.
First, are you ready for a relationship? There may be reasons that you're currently single, and they may be valid reasons that you should hold onto for a while.
For example, maybe your last relationship ended abruptly or badly, and you are still grieving too much to be able to give another person a fair shot at your love.
Or perhaps you are currently single for a personal reason, such as the desire to focus on your education or to kick some bad habit that you know will take a lot of effort.
Second, what kind of relationship are you looking for? If you are looking for marriage, don't get in a relationship with someone whom you know is not headed in that direction.
On the other hand, if you're just looking for someone to hang out with for a while and you don't want a serious commitment, make sure your prospective partner knows your intentions.
Don't lead anyone on.
Third, what made your last relationship end? Is that thing still a threat? For example, perhaps your last relationship ended when one of you moved to a different city, in which case neither of you were at fault, and you don't have to plan ahead to avoid that scenario again.
On the other hand, perhaps it ended because you were too controlling or because you showed an inability to remain faithful to your partner.
If that is the case, you may wish to devote yourself to personal growth for a while before dating anyone else.
Finally, what is it about this person that makes you want a relationship? If your answer focuses on that person, such as, "I love the way he cracks jokes and makes the whole room laugh," or, "I love the way he is passionate about his job," you may have a good reason for getting to know that person a little more intimately.
By contrast, if your true, honest answer is something more to the effect of, "I don't want to be lonely anymore," or, "I'm tired of the way everyone else has someone to go to parties with," you may benefit more from gaining an acceptance of your current social status rather than developing a relationship with someone you don't really care about.
At other times, relationships develop much more slowly, and you have time to think about what you're doing and what you hope will happen.
In that case, the following questions will help you think through some issues before you begin dating someone.
First, are you ready for a relationship? There may be reasons that you're currently single, and they may be valid reasons that you should hold onto for a while.
For example, maybe your last relationship ended abruptly or badly, and you are still grieving too much to be able to give another person a fair shot at your love.
Or perhaps you are currently single for a personal reason, such as the desire to focus on your education or to kick some bad habit that you know will take a lot of effort.
Second, what kind of relationship are you looking for? If you are looking for marriage, don't get in a relationship with someone whom you know is not headed in that direction.
On the other hand, if you're just looking for someone to hang out with for a while and you don't want a serious commitment, make sure your prospective partner knows your intentions.
Don't lead anyone on.
Third, what made your last relationship end? Is that thing still a threat? For example, perhaps your last relationship ended when one of you moved to a different city, in which case neither of you were at fault, and you don't have to plan ahead to avoid that scenario again.
On the other hand, perhaps it ended because you were too controlling or because you showed an inability to remain faithful to your partner.
If that is the case, you may wish to devote yourself to personal growth for a while before dating anyone else.
Finally, what is it about this person that makes you want a relationship? If your answer focuses on that person, such as, "I love the way he cracks jokes and makes the whole room laugh," or, "I love the way he is passionate about his job," you may have a good reason for getting to know that person a little more intimately.
By contrast, if your true, honest answer is something more to the effect of, "I don't want to be lonely anymore," or, "I'm tired of the way everyone else has someone to go to parties with," you may benefit more from gaining an acceptance of your current social status rather than developing a relationship with someone you don't really care about.
