Eros and Intimacy
Intimacy takes us into the mystery of life; it is not about safety or security. It is about the alchemical process of transformation. It takes us to the frontiers of human existence and brings us face-to-face with our angels and demons. It may activate our deepest thought forms--our issues with our family of origin, our personal patterns, who we are, our ability to express and receive love, and the essence of what spiritual life is about.
The sacred relationship is our journey into the unknown. Opening up to the risk of intimacy is part of the evolution of human consciousness. We are challenged to maintain and grow within a live, turned-on connection and love, and to free ourselves from old patterns of pain. In the process, we also need to create space for the other to exist and to grow.
At a high level of intimacy, we support each other to become the fullest expressions of that which we are meant to be--the wild female and the wild male. To become the original of whom we are meant to be. We, as partners, have the choice and ability to give space to the other to become their full, original self.
This is very different from the typical kind of relationship, in which we try to tame the other person into our idea of who he or she should be for us. In intimacy, our role is to help the other reach their full depth as a human being. Intimacy is an alchemical process of transformation. It invokes the presence of the Divine. We call this the alchemical merging into the ONE.
The definition of intimacy is maintaining an open heart, in love, with the other over time.
In intimacy, we have two essences that must be balanced. The female essence, which can be in a male or a female person, is the Rainbow Radiance of who we are--the full flow and dance of Love. It wants to shine, to be seen, and needs to be recognized and to be known. The female essence is the flower and the joy of fullness. The male essence, which can also be in a male or a female person, is to die into the unknown--a total focus on oneness, dissolving into the Nothing. So, one is about emptiness and the other is about fullness. And these need to match for a relationship to really work.
In the Hindu paradigm, it is Shiva and Shakti. Shakti is the play of consciousness in the world. Shiva is the nothing. It just sits there and witnesses the world, unchanging; it is absolute consciousness, itself. These characteristics help us to understand the differences. When the male and female essences get together, there is a merging of light and consciousness. This alchemical energy is the essence of real, deep merging with God.
Now, let's talk about communication. The female essence needs one thing: to know it's loved. If the male essence does not communicate to the female that she is loved, things don't work so well. What the male essence needs is to know that it is succeeding and not failing. The difference in needs causes the male and female essences to communicate on different levels. All communication--in relationship, in lovemaking, and in everyday life--has to hold these messages. This is what we call meta-communication.
By understanding these essences, we can give and receive in a way that uplifts the other person and allows space for them to be their full, authentic self. In order for this to be possible, however, both people have to be operating from the same level of intention, or awareness.
To live erotically means to be and see God in all things. True eros is the key to living erotically in the non-sexual areas of our lives. That is the point! The erotic becomes the Divine Kiss that powers our desire for God, and at the same time is the result of God-Merging.
Once the yearning starts, we are willing to take it to higher and higher levels, which, in my book, Spiritual Nutrition: Six Foundations for Spiritual Life and the Awakening of Kundalini, I call the Six Foundations:
1) Spiritual nutrition (food) and spiritual fasting
2) Building the life force (prana) with pranayama, yoga, sacred dance, etc.
3) Service and charity (when we give, we are connecting)
4) Being inspired by a spiritual teacher (satsang), support by a spiritual group, reading the great literature, jnana yoga
5) Silence, meditation, praying, mantra repetition, and chanting
6) Shaktipat and the awakening of Kundalini energy.
© 2007 Elite Books. Permission is granted to any site or individual to reproduce this article online provided a link to http://www.MarriageOfSexAndSpirit.com and this copyright notice is included in such reproduction.
The sacred relationship is our journey into the unknown. Opening up to the risk of intimacy is part of the evolution of human consciousness. We are challenged to maintain and grow within a live, turned-on connection and love, and to free ourselves from old patterns of pain. In the process, we also need to create space for the other to exist and to grow.
At a high level of intimacy, we support each other to become the fullest expressions of that which we are meant to be--the wild female and the wild male. To become the original of whom we are meant to be. We, as partners, have the choice and ability to give space to the other to become their full, original self.
This is very different from the typical kind of relationship, in which we try to tame the other person into our idea of who he or she should be for us. In intimacy, our role is to help the other reach their full depth as a human being. Intimacy is an alchemical process of transformation. It invokes the presence of the Divine. We call this the alchemical merging into the ONE.
The definition of intimacy is maintaining an open heart, in love, with the other over time.
In intimacy, we have two essences that must be balanced. The female essence, which can be in a male or a female person, is the Rainbow Radiance of who we are--the full flow and dance of Love. It wants to shine, to be seen, and needs to be recognized and to be known. The female essence is the flower and the joy of fullness. The male essence, which can also be in a male or a female person, is to die into the unknown--a total focus on oneness, dissolving into the Nothing. So, one is about emptiness and the other is about fullness. And these need to match for a relationship to really work.
In the Hindu paradigm, it is Shiva and Shakti. Shakti is the play of consciousness in the world. Shiva is the nothing. It just sits there and witnesses the world, unchanging; it is absolute consciousness, itself. These characteristics help us to understand the differences. When the male and female essences get together, there is a merging of light and consciousness. This alchemical energy is the essence of real, deep merging with God.
Now, let's talk about communication. The female essence needs one thing: to know it's loved. If the male essence does not communicate to the female that she is loved, things don't work so well. What the male essence needs is to know that it is succeeding and not failing. The difference in needs causes the male and female essences to communicate on different levels. All communication--in relationship, in lovemaking, and in everyday life--has to hold these messages. This is what we call meta-communication.
By understanding these essences, we can give and receive in a way that uplifts the other person and allows space for them to be their full, authentic self. In order for this to be possible, however, both people have to be operating from the same level of intention, or awareness.
To live erotically means to be and see God in all things. True eros is the key to living erotically in the non-sexual areas of our lives. That is the point! The erotic becomes the Divine Kiss that powers our desire for God, and at the same time is the result of God-Merging.
Once the yearning starts, we are willing to take it to higher and higher levels, which, in my book, Spiritual Nutrition: Six Foundations for Spiritual Life and the Awakening of Kundalini, I call the Six Foundations:
1) Spiritual nutrition (food) and spiritual fasting
2) Building the life force (prana) with pranayama, yoga, sacred dance, etc.
3) Service and charity (when we give, we are connecting)
4) Being inspired by a spiritual teacher (satsang), support by a spiritual group, reading the great literature, jnana yoga
5) Silence, meditation, praying, mantra repetition, and chanting
6) Shaktipat and the awakening of Kundalini energy.
© 2007 Elite Books. Permission is granted to any site or individual to reproduce this article online provided a link to http://www.MarriageOfSexAndSpirit.com and this copyright notice is included in such reproduction.