How to Be a Great Dad Without Any Practice
Being a parent is one of the mysteries of life.
They say that it's never the right time to have a child, that you are never personally prepared for the role but that you can grow into it once your child has arrived.
There's no way to really know what it's like to be a father until you are one, and thus it's difficult to prepare for the work ahead.
When it comes down to it, you'll never be 'ready' to be a Dad, but there are some things you can keep in mind that will help the learning curve.
First, being a father is all about putting your child first.
No matter what, you have to always put your child first.
You need to understand that your vices, even the ones that you enjoy, do not set the right example for your child.
While it's important to live a healthy and passionate life for yourself, it's doubly so when you are teaching someone else how to live a good life.
Your needs become subsumed to your child's needs, always.
It isn't only your job to teach them, but you must also protect your children.
There are a lot of facets of protection that you must provide for your children.
First, you must physically protect them.
You need to ensure that they always have a good roof over their head, a warm place to live, that they are always fed, and that they aren't raised in a physically dangerous environment.
You must also make sure they are emotionally protected.
You need to give them a space in your relationship where they know you will not judge them, where they can be vulnerable with you.
You have to show them affection and let them know that you love them unconditionally.
Sharing time with your children is a big part of being a father.
It isn't just about taking the spare time you have and sharing it with them, it's also about creating the time and space in your life to share with them.
It's about not working 80 hours a week and being distracted the time you actually have with them.
Remember that they come first, not whatever abusive career track you are on.
When you share time with your kids, there is a lot you can do.
Talking is probably the most important, building a relationship, offering advice and listening and teaching them about the world.
Playing is also important, and so is showing them all different aspects of the world, expanding their horizons.
It's also important to do the things that are traditionally considered 'mom' things.
When they are babies you should feed them, change their diapers, comfort them, wake up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
Remember that you're building a full relationship with your child, not just the 'manly' bits.
All of these things come back to that first central tenet- they are your number one priority from now on.
It's your job to teach them about the world, to support them, to love them, to give them the room to become themselves.
Parenthood isn't any easier than childhood, and both are learning experiences.
But that doesn't mean you have to go in completely blind.
They say that it's never the right time to have a child, that you are never personally prepared for the role but that you can grow into it once your child has arrived.
There's no way to really know what it's like to be a father until you are one, and thus it's difficult to prepare for the work ahead.
When it comes down to it, you'll never be 'ready' to be a Dad, but there are some things you can keep in mind that will help the learning curve.
First, being a father is all about putting your child first.
No matter what, you have to always put your child first.
You need to understand that your vices, even the ones that you enjoy, do not set the right example for your child.
While it's important to live a healthy and passionate life for yourself, it's doubly so when you are teaching someone else how to live a good life.
Your needs become subsumed to your child's needs, always.
It isn't only your job to teach them, but you must also protect your children.
There are a lot of facets of protection that you must provide for your children.
First, you must physically protect them.
You need to ensure that they always have a good roof over their head, a warm place to live, that they are always fed, and that they aren't raised in a physically dangerous environment.
You must also make sure they are emotionally protected.
You need to give them a space in your relationship where they know you will not judge them, where they can be vulnerable with you.
You have to show them affection and let them know that you love them unconditionally.
Sharing time with your children is a big part of being a father.
It isn't just about taking the spare time you have and sharing it with them, it's also about creating the time and space in your life to share with them.
It's about not working 80 hours a week and being distracted the time you actually have with them.
Remember that they come first, not whatever abusive career track you are on.
When you share time with your kids, there is a lot you can do.
Talking is probably the most important, building a relationship, offering advice and listening and teaching them about the world.
Playing is also important, and so is showing them all different aspects of the world, expanding their horizons.
It's also important to do the things that are traditionally considered 'mom' things.
When they are babies you should feed them, change their diapers, comfort them, wake up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
Remember that you're building a full relationship with your child, not just the 'manly' bits.
All of these things come back to that first central tenet- they are your number one priority from now on.
It's your job to teach them about the world, to support them, to love them, to give them the room to become themselves.
Parenthood isn't any easier than childhood, and both are learning experiences.
But that doesn't mean you have to go in completely blind.
