"Positive parenting" is such a popular buzzword these days, with many articles and books written about the subject.
Many parents of ADHD children might resent being told to be a "positive" parent, as the term implies that they are doing something wrong when they get frustrated or stressed from dealing with their child.
While parenting does bring a number of priceless, joyful moments, there's also a lot of hard work and tears in there.
So let's clarify one thing - positive parenting is not about forcing yourself to smile and feel good about a difficult situation.
It's a philosophy that will help you maintain the emotional energy and stamina you need to get through each day.
Here are five tips that will help you achieve the positive parenting mindset.
Remember that your child isn't out to get you On some days, it might seem that your hyperactive little boy or sassy little girl knows where your buttons are and how to push them.
But remember - a child with ADHD doesn't think about his or her parents; instead, he or she is thinking about how best to meet their own needs.
Sometimes their needs might seem a little extreme, and they may do inappropriate things to get these needs met.
Instead of thinking that you child has it in for you, remind yourself that your child's ADHD seems to be flaring up today.
Ask yourself what you can do to help your child meet his or her needs in the most appropriate manner.
The world isn't against you When your teacher calls you up from school to complain about your child's behavior, or when you get the look from strangers when your child acts up in public, you might feel as though the world is against you and your child.
However real this feeling might seem, remember that this is not true.
Chances are, other people simply don't understand.
They see a child behaving badly and make automatic judgments, because they don't know much about ADHD, autism, or other special needs.
Instead of getting defensive, educate others about your child's needs when you can.
Stop using the words "never" and "always" On bad days, parents tend to use certain descriptors about their child that make them feel hopeless.
For instance, you might think, "My son will never have friends.
He's always fighting with other children.
" Statements like this are not helpful to you or your child.
Nobody acts a certain way all the time.
Using words like "never" and "always" just set your child up for failure because you've already made up your mind about the kind of person he or she is.
By believing in these words, you won't be able to see the moments where your child does well.
Describe your child's behavior using concrete terms Other words you should avoid using when describing your child are emotionally-laden terms like "bad" or "undisciplined.
" In situations where your child behaves inappropriately, look for concrete, observable words to describe what's going on and how you would like your child to behave.
This way, you'll feel more positive about the situation and find ways to help your child.
For instance, instead of thinking, "My child is disrespectful," think, " My child does not understand how to behave and speak properly to others.
I should help him by teaching him some social skills.
" Stay in the present One of the best things you can do to help your child is to stay in the present and stop entertaining any "should be's" or "what if's.
" You can't go back in time and undo what caused your child's ADHD, nor can you predict what will happen in the future.
All you can do is manage the present as best as you can.
Part of staying positive is to let go of these thoughts and accept the reality in front of you.
So instead of thinking, "ADHD is the worst thing to happen to my child.
If only I had discovered it earlier," think, "My child has ADHD and we are both doing what we can to help him or her get better.
"